Ravens and Crows

Chapter 33 ~Adam~

Ashes.

That was really all that was left.

Ashes.

It was on the ground, in the air, in my lungs.

The forest was black with ashes and the trees around it had not a single trace of the fire that had left such devastating effects on the scene in front of me.

Cabeswater.

It was like when Cabeswater had given itself for Gansey and it's energy had left me.

I felt empty.

Even more empty this time, because this time he was gone too.

He's gone.

The thought stopped my heart and my legs gave out. I sunk to the ashen ground. I had half the mind to think about the stain it would leave on my uniform trousers, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gansey catching himself on the trunk of the tree, his body shaking slightly.

"What happened?" Blue breathed, somewhere to my right. She walked slowly forward, like if she went far enough into the ashes the illusion would break and she'd once again see the beautiful forest that used to stand there.

Neither of us said anything in reply to Blue and in front of me Blue's shock faded away and became despair. "He- he- I never- I always-" She turned to me and Gansey with pleading eyes. "What do we do? We can do something. There has to be something we can do."

Gansey shook his head. "The only person that could've done something..." He didn't need to finish.

He's gone.

Ronan was stuck some two-hundreds years in the past, and there was nothing any of us could do to get him out.

I felt something wet land on my hand and I looked down to see a tear.

I hardly ever cried. It wasn't because I wanted to be manly or thought people who cried were weak. I just used up a good amount of my tears when I was little and I didn't feel like I had much left.

Blue saw my tears and shook her head, her own eyes watering. "No," She said. "No, no, we can't give up this easily. Come on, Adam, this is Ronan!"

"I know that!" I half yelled, half sobbed. "I know that, Blue! Don't you think I want to do something! But I can't feel Cabeswater; it's dead. And there's nothing I can do. I don't have have anything I can do."

"He didn't give up on me." Gansey said slowly. "I should be dead, but he didn't give up on me."

In the back of my mind I thought about Ronan the day Gansey died. He hadn't given up on Gansey exactly, but for a while, he didn't really do anything, he just sat and cried as yet another part of his life was ripped to shreds in front of him.

I felt a lot like that right now.

"What can we do?" I asked miserably. "Ronan had his dreams and Cabeswater. We don't have anything."

Gansey started to put his hand up to his bottom lip, but the hand didn't make the full journey up and fell back down to Gansey's side.

Another tear fell from my face; I felt bare.

No trees.

No Cabeswater.

No Ronan.

I flinched as a hand touched mine and looked up to see Blue kneeling in front of me, the tears finally falling from her eyes.

"Try," She pleaded. "You still have a connection with the ley line, with spirits. I'll amplify you." She looked me in the eyes, her sorrow filled face turning into one of determination. "We owe it to him to at least try."

Gansey walked over to us and reached out his hand to help us up. "She's right."

I looked at the ash around me and thought about all the work Ronan had put in to make it again. About all the memories we had in that forest- the five of us, the fours of us, the two of us.

I took one of Gansey's hands and, in Ronan fashion, said, "What the hell, why not."

I walked farther back into the ash with Gansey and Blue behind me. Once we reached a place deep enough that ash was almost all I could see, I took a knee. Blue placed a hand on my shoulder and I put my hands down on the burnt ash.

Please, I thought to the ground below me and the energy around me, please bring it back. Bring him back. I've done so much for you, we all have, please do this one thing for us.

I felt the pulse of the ley line beneath me and tried to pull it up toward the ash. I tried to give some of the energy and life from the ley line to the ashes, so that the forest could appear again.

"Maybe Gansey should try." I said, still trying my best to connect the ley line with the forest.

Gansey nodded at me and took a step forward. He put a hand on Blue's shoulder and cleared his throat. "Come back." Was all he said.