INK | 18+

two: vanilla chai.

J E L A N I

"So, what's with the tattoos?" Lani asked. He turned to her, probably because her question was quite stupid.

"I like art."

"Me too, where'd you study?" She asked, longing for an answer. Xav didn't feel like talking. He was someone that appreciated silence.

Although silence wasn't all that bad to Xavier, Jelani hated silence. Something about the world in her head being silent made her go crazy. Xavier hated noise, or any sound unless it was music.

The world was so fucking loud. He wanted silence and tranquility.

"I didn't," He replied dryly. "Why no-"

"Look - since I'm doing you a favor, could you just shut up for a minute? Thank you."

Xavier was so mean. He didn't care. He never did.

"But-" Jelani started. He shushed her, "I helped you once, we aren't friends," He said, arriving at her apartment dorm.

"Can you walk me in?" She asked quietly. You were supposed to be nice.

"Fine."

They both stepped out of the car and walked to her apartment number. She appreciated him and admired his manners and offer to help her. She was devasted that the stranger she was attracted to had a temper - a mean one, but at the same time she liked him...she wanted to talk to him.

"Thank you."

"No problem, angel," He smiled. For a second he adored her face. Her dark chocolate skin against his pale white skin brought him some excitement. Her curves were so accentuated in her short black dress and he felt the urge to hold her.

"Will I ever see you again?" She questioned. Her accent was rich, dyed with her Jamaican roots. She wanted to ask him in, but he's a stranger. He also doesn't talk much.

"I doubt it. I'm not from this side of town," He shrugged. His tattooed shoulder gleamed against the bright moonlight above them.

She was too innocent for the dirty thoughts that ran through his head. "Cool." She missed his comfort and his presence as he turned to leave, she lazily stepped into her messy apartment.

"Gyal where ya been?" She heard her older brother, Ace asked. "Out," She muttered. "Who was by the door?" He interrogated. "Someone."

Someone she desperately wanted to see again.

X A V I E R

Xavier drove back to his place, he ran out of fucks to go to the party.

"Hey buddy," He heard his bestfriend's, Jerry, voice calling from his dark apartment. "What?" Xavier immediately questioned.

"You're back on this shit again?" He asked, holding up the bottle of pills. Xav put his hands on his side and rolled his eyes. "Ten came."

"Son of a fucking bitch. And like a little child you couldn't help yourself?" He sternly asked. "Yeah."

He stood up from his seat, and balled Xavier's shirt in his fist. The threatening demeanor made Xavier flinch. "I was fucking trying to help you!" He exclaimed, his spit sprayed in his face. "I'm sorry," Xavier said, turning his head.

Jeremy stepped away from Xavier and looked at him with a disappointing look - a look Xav was too familiar with.

He would never be enough, he knew that. The drugs would probably be the only things there.

"I'm sorry," Xavier croaked. Jerry wrapped his arms around Xavier, embracing him in a welcoming hug.

The truth is when Xavier felt high, he wasn't ashamed of himself, he didn't feel judged and he felt enough. Nothing would be enough to satisfy the people around him. When he was high, his mind was stone, his heart stopped beating and the world went silent. He could only hear his light, ragged breathing. He'd only feel one thing  - the tears of hopelessness streaming down his sweaty face.

"Get to bed, bud. I'm crashing on the couch."

"I'm gonna quit, I swear."

Jerry looked at Xavier, and Xavier knew what he was bound to say.

"You can't promise something that you just can't keep, Xavi. Go to sleep."

Xavier went to the toilet thinking deeply about how he fucked things up with the beautiful woman that was next to him.

Helping a bunch of drunk girls probably wasn't the best idea.

He hadn't partied or got any sort of alcohol in his system. It sucked, it was painful.

When he was with the girl, he forgot he was high. She was noisy: too noisy for Xav's liking — but the world went quiet and he only focused on her Jamaican melody.

He remembered the serenity and texture of her voice. The way the word affection rolled off her bronze, plump lips.

He remembered her smile. Her bouncy hair. He was high - but he remembered it all. He knew by tomorrow he'd forget her...everything about her.

But he too, wanted to see her again. He wanted to bury himself in her vanilla chai and cocoa butter smell, one more time.

He liked the way his body wanted her. The sound of her voice made his soul listen, it made everything sound like music. He still wanted to see her.

But she was just a girl - and relationships and girl things weren't his vibe. He maybe would've wanted her for the night, but he wanted to see her again.

Maybe one day she'll be drunk again, and I'll see her.

He strolled to his bed, unraveling his thick brown hair down and sighing loudly. He spotted the orange bottle Ten left and twisted it open-

Once, twice, over again.

Then he took a pill, and picked up a glass of whiskey sitting on his bed-side table, drowning the pill in the stinging misery.

Xavier took off his shirt and jeans and laid down on his bed, falling to sleep only because the feeling of his addiction made sleeping easy again.

Song: Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland.

____

i feel like people finna be sleeping on my shit. but im gonna write coz it's romantic and its a passion.