side note: am i the only one that finds corpse (the one with the eargasmic deep voice) so f-ing seggsy🥴
his voice is enough to make me....nvm🥴😭 (is it possible to fall without having a face to pin it to ? like im in love with his voice 😭🥴
thank u for 7k !!
J E L A N I
When an addiction is the sole responsibility of your death - it's hard for the person you care about...your lover...to accept the fact.
In a situation where you find out that someone is an addict - was, it doesn't matter...
You can't accept it.
When they lie, they can't seem to stop. And if they take drugs,
They can't seem to stop.
At first Jelani thought this was a joke - Xavier couldn't have been...he was...perfect.
In her eyes at least.
It didn't come down to her as a wilding crash - it came down as a flutter, a thing that wasn't that big. She finally understood it all.
His sadness, his darkness; the humor he had.
"Xavier...tell me, who is this?" Jelani demanded. She approached him in confrontation as she spoke. "Like he said before..." was all Xavier said.
Don't leave me now.
"You take d-" she started. "I used to," He admitted. "And you happend to not tell me," She said, kneeling. He nodded, "Nope, I didn't...because I didn't find it relevant."
"I'm still open for business," Ten chuckled in satisfaction as he stood by the door with his armarms crossed.
"Get out, please."
"I might as well leave. Knowing that you've wasted my time," Jelani sighed, walking away from Xavier. He turned around, "wasted your time?" He exclaimed.
"Yes, " She scoffed. He stood up - the world was a bit blurry. "So - none of this meant shit to you?"
"I fucking hate liars. Xavier this was a detrimental thing -" she yelled, taking her bags and angrily throwing her things inside. "So you hate me?" He asked, interrupting her.
"Yes! At the moment, I really do. And I can't -" she said, scanning the room, trying to find her clothes that were scattered around.
"I'll come back, then," Ten shrugged, walking out the door.
Jelani tripped over her bag - falling over and hitting the counter. She cussed loudly as she fell down, stubbing her toe. In all his irritability, Xavier began cackling. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes.
"Fuck you!" She yelled. "You're being kinda -" he chuckled. She threw a shoe at him that he managed to dodge. "Can you just stop, bab -" Jelani couldn't believe the audacity he had. "God!" She exclaimed each time she picked up her clothes.
"You lied to me. And you find that funny?" She shouted. Suddenly, he replied, making Jelani scoff in disbelief.
"I actually do, Lani. I don't think that if our relationship began with us fucking we'd need to know EVERYTHING about one another. I wanted to leave it in my past so you wouldn't go bitching out about it, Jelani," And he had the audacity to continue with,"Sorry if it bothers you so much."
His stupid fucking voice; the one that could make her orgasm in a minute.
It disrespected her so much, that she forgot how the man that stood infront of her touched her, she forgot how he brought her to ease - how romantic he is.
"I'm not going to have this conversation with you right now," She stumbled. Tears began forming in her eyes as she forwarded towards the door.
"And to think that someone like me could fall for someone like you!" She cried. "I'm not trying to be dramatic but, there was a brief second where I was like:
Damn, I think I love this guy. And then I thought it over, that, Xavier can't love anyone but his fucking self!" She exclaimed. "And by the way - I was like..." She said, holding her thumb and her index finger parallel to one another, to imitate a small amount, "This close to loving you. I tricked myself into believing that I could love someone like you. A lying, vindictive and cold - "
"I thought you said you were leaving," Xavier groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fuck you, Xavier!" She exclaimed, leaving the apartment.
"You already did," He muttered. Fuck.
"Well," he announced to no one but himself.
This is the day I embrace who I am -
A fucking addict, he thought.
He swung his door open, heading out. He didn't even try to fight the magnetism that the safety of his home had on him - he left it as if it were nothing.
Because without a warning from anything, without a warning from Jelani or a fucking warning from his self confidence -
He would always be broken.
____
Song: Keep lying by Donna Missal
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER Y'ALL 😭💔ill have some time to write bc my school is closing for vacation 🧚🏾♀️ and since i have no social life - wattpad is gonna be my betj.
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