Cold Hands ✔️

seventeen

chapter 17; love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind

Spencer Reid didn't know what to do with himself. Adeline had gotten out of surgery and he was finally allowed to see her.

"Will she be able to hear me?" He had asked a nurse. She shook her head apologetically.

"I don't think so, but it doesn't hurt to try."

He now stood at the foot of her bed, hands deep in his pockets while staring at Adeline. She looked as peacefully as she could while hooked up to multiple machines. Spencer didn't know what to say, if anything. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't know why.

His hands balled up in his pockets. Why was he feeling this way? He was slowly starting to care for her and he detested this feeling. There was no way that he could be friends with someone like her, he never wanted to find out. But why was he imagining it? Imagining her laughing at a joke, staring at her face while she was concentrating or explaining something to the team. Even her annoying obsessive traits were endearing.

Spencer let out an angry sigh and stormed over to the chair and sat down, head in his hands. Reid was angry at himself, angry about how big his heart was. He wanted to deny it.

"I don't, I don't, I don't" his broken voice was the only sound in the room.

He tried pushing down the feeling of hopelessness. He knew what he was feeling, and he tried everything to discredit it. Her nose was too small for her face and her eyebrows were bushy. She obsessively fixed her hair, and scrunched her nose when she was reading the case files. She was constantly reapplying her Chapstick and she never wore matching socks. She always looks over her shoulder and doesn't know how to sit still. These traits are not endearing, they should be annoying. They should strengthen the dislike he feels.

Spencer Reid hated Dr. Adeline Ripper.

And yet, he found himself liking her.

Liking the way she always offered some of her food to whoever was around. He likes the way she thinks like him. He likes the way she looks up to Rossi and is always subconsciously wanting his approval, even if she doesn't know she's doing it. He likes the way she always brings extra pens to the round table even though no one knows it's her.

Spencer Reid hated how much he liked Dr. Adeline Ripper.

He wrestled with these feelings, his hands sliding down his face as he turned his head up to look at her on the bed.

"I hate you. Why did you go into that alleyway alone, knowing what we know? Kindness isn't always the best trait, you know." He blamed her.

"It's uh- it's an easy emotion to take advantage of. It's how- how Bundy took advantage of his victims, and why serial killers pose as being injured." He rambled, not sure what else to say.

"I hate you Addy, just wake up so I can tell it to your face." Spencer said. Even if he did have a fondness for her, it doesn't mean he needed to start being nice to her.

A few minutes later Prentiss walked in and silently lingered in the doorway. She stared at Adeline, guilt becoming overwhelming.

"Is she doing any better?" She quietly spoke to Reid, making him jump.

"Oh, uh yeah. Doctor's say she should be waking up soon."

"Good, good. The rest of the team will be here soon. I just, I feel like I should be here when she wakes up." Prentiss wrung her hands in front of her, walking closer to the end of Adeline's bed.

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Emily. Addy knew what she was doing, and we got to her in time." Spencer said, coming over to stand next to Emily and staring at her. A tear fell down Emily's cheek as she turned to face Spencer, thinking of what happened to her friend. She couldn't help feeling guilty, she was supposed to have her back. Just minutes before her abduction they were laughing and teasing. Emily shook her head and wiped a tear.