Cold Hands ✔️

eighteen

chapter 18; yes i've been broken hearted, blue since the day we parted

It felt good to be out of the hospital. I had to stay a week and I was getting antsy. I didn't mind being in a hospital, but sometimes your own bed just sounds too good to pass up. I treated myself to a coffee on my way to work this morning, happy to be feeling the fresh air on my face and stretching out my sore leg.

When I walked through the BAU doors, everyone greeted me. I couldn't help but smile, feeling so loved. I missed this place and everyone in it. Even though I get to see someone all the time, it feels different when we are all together doing our jobs.

"Oh Adeline you are just glowing!" Garcia remarked, coming over to hug me.

"I am definitely not but thank you." I laughed, hugging her back.

"You look good for being stabbed and spending a week in the hospital." JJ smiled and hugged me next. 

"Thank you everyone, I'm just happy to be back." I looked around at everyone in the bullpen, happy to be here.

"Reid told us about what you said, it's all up on the board in the conference room." Morgan told me, starting to make his way up there. I nodded and walked over to my desk, placing my bag down. I looked over at Reid who was reading a book. Well, at least I think he was.

"Thanks for telling the team." I whispered to him. His eyes left the page and met mine.

"And for, you know...saving me." 

"Of course. You're a part of our team now." His eyes left mine quickly to return to his book. I tried to stop a smile but I couldn't help it. He actually admitted I exist! Much less that I'm a part of the team. All it took was my near death I guess. I turned to walk towards the conference room.

"You said Harper helped you." I heard Reid call after me, leaving me stopped in my tracks. I grimaced. I was hoping he didn't remember that. I turned on my heel, facing Reid.

"I was kind of hoping we could forget that? Maybe just skimming over it and only remember that I was stabbed and tortured?" I said, putting on a cheesy smile. Reid placed his book on the table and walked over to me.

"I asked Garcia to look into the name Harper." His hand rubbed his neck "If you uh, need someone to talk to. I'd be willing to sit down and listen. I'm- I'm sorry that happened." His tone was soft.

"It's okay really, I'm over it. I'm focusing on the present day." I gently punched him in the arm, trying to lighten the mood. I quickly turned and walked towards the conference room. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just give a simple thank you? Sometimes I hated how I deflected.

"This is quite an impressive board." Harper said, leaning against it. My eyes flickered to hers before sitting down, avoiding eye contact.

"The use of classic books is interesting. The themes are wildly different, why use these quotes? Oh my gods I feel like a proper detective." Harper clapped her hands together and jumped slightly. I shook my head, trying to get her out of my head.

Although I couldn't ignore her, I did have to listen to her. She was a part of my subconscious, and it was an easy way to pick up on clues that I had missed. I looked closer at the themes of the books. Gone With The Wind could be focusing on a number of things. The importance of land, overcoming adversity, the real cost of war. Great Gatsby focused on the American dream, the hollowness of the upper class, even about love and marriage. 

"What's the focus of the classic literature?" I asked the group, raising a few heads.

"It could be dismissed if it was only used as a location of the next body, but the two ciphers that use them? That can't just be about clues. The unsub must have a connection to them." I pondered.

"It may have been used as a coping mechanism when they were younger. Maybe something traumatizing happened when they were younger?" Emily followed my lead, seeing where this took us.

"Then by that logic, the quotes used must be clues." JJ mused, looking back over the emails.

"Oooh they're smart. I wanna join." Harper exclaimed, bounding over to where Reid sat. I stared holes into her. She leaned over his shoulder, face close to his. I glared at her, but she just sent me a wink.

"The good doctor and I could make quite the team. Let's see, you know the first quote sounds like they considered you a friend at some point. But obviously you don't talk to them anymore." Harper mused, looking up at me. Reid almost seemed to follow her gaze and met mine and I quickly soften my gaze, turning my eyes down to focus on the text in front of me. I had no doubt that my cheeks flushed.

"The second one is when Nick Carraway talks about Gatsby's smile. You know they were totally gay for each other, right? Next time you read the book, focus on that. Man, if Gatsby didn't die and just confronted his feelings, he and Nick could've totally boned, and not only that but-" I slammed my folder closed, shutting Harper up. The team looked up at me and I sank a little, embarrassed by my outburst.

"Excuse me." I stood up, stealing a glance at Harper.

"Ugh fine mom, I'm coming." She stomped out of the conference room and followed me into Rossi's office. I closed the door firmly around me.

"Harper, you need to knock it off. Just cause you're hanging around doesn't mean you can just talk nonstop. I can't believe you're a part of my imagination and you still run your mouth." I hissed.

"But this is the first time we've been able to talk in years! I missed talking to you and doing human things." She pouted, crossing her arms.

"I know this, but I can't talk to you around other people. You can help, but just keep your sentences short and sweet. Got it?" I asked, sending her a pointed look. She nodded with a pout. I took a deep breath and left the office. As I was coming out I almost ran into Spencer who was tying his shoe.

"Oh sorry, I didn't see you there." I laughed, brushing past him and back into the conference room.

"So looking at the quotes, I think it speaks more to our unsub. I think it's clues to help lead us to who he is." I rephrased what Harper told me, going to stand next to my seat. Reid soon followed after me, returning to his.

"Ah-oo-gah, am I right Addy? Oh right, quiet." Harper sat in my seat.

"Look at it. The first one from Monte Cristo is talking about an old friend. So the unsub is trying to tell us that it's an old friend who I haven't spoken to in a while. The second one could relate to the book's themes. The upper class, the American dream..." I trailed off, looking around.

"I reread the passage that the second quote is from, and I think it's literal." Prentiss spoke. "In the passage the narrator, Nick, is talking about Gatsby's smile. Some readers think that Nick loves Gatsby, so maybe the unsub is in love with you."

Prentiss always had a way to say what I didn't want to say. I nodded my head, my gaze coming down to Harper in my chair. She turned around to me and beamed.

"Oh no it's not me. I'm not in love with you, although if I did swing that way then you know I would be." She playfully growled and turned back around. I rolled my eyes and focused on the board across the room.

"So the unsub used to be a friend of Ripper's, and is in love with her. His love wasn't reciprocated, so he's acting out." Hotch stated matter-of-factly.

"Could it be someone you went on a date with?" Harper asked me and I shook my head.

"No, I don't go on dates. I went on one, but it mutually ended." I responded to her. Shit. I looked up to the group, frantic to cover my mistake.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking aloud. I'll go give the name to Garcia so she can clear him." I walked quickly to the door and walked fast through the bullpen. I was glad Harper wasn't with me, I needed some downtime just to think.

I'm not crazy. I had just experienced something traumatic and it won't be long before she's gone. I've been through this before.