Cold Hands ✔️

thirty

chapter 30; so tell me why my gods look like you

"Farewell, sweet lady, dearest Elizabeth, my beloved and only friend; may heaven in its bounty bless and preserve you; may this be the last misfortune that you will ever suffer. Live, and be happy, and make others so." My head rested on the heel of my hand as it became harder to read. I sighed and decided to give up, resting the open book on the bedside table.

He looked peaceful. Well, as peaceful as one could look in a hospital room. He had multiple IV's and devices in his room, disturbing the silence in the room occasionally. My eyes drifted to Prentiss who slept in the opposite corner of the room, slouched in the chair. Her head was resting on the back of the chair and her legs spread open. I smiled, at least she was comfortable.

I scooted my chair closer to Reid's bed and leaned on my knees. I haven't left this room very much since he was admitted, about 3 days ago. The doctors say that he's progressing well, but they won't know more until he wakes up.

"Reid," My voice came out softer than when I was reading "you need to keep fighting. You need to wake up, the whole team is worried about you. I- I'm worried about you."

My hand came up to his on the bed and rested in his. I stole a glance at Emily and when satisfied that she was still asleep, I turned back.

"Remember when you lashed out at that woman in Georgia? And I promised not to tell the team about your lash-out in exchange for a favour?" I smiled remembering how fiercely upset he was at the injustice we couldn't fix.

"Well I'm uh, I'm redeeming that favour now. I want you to wake up, and get better. I need you to wake up, we all do." I choked up and looked at the ground. I couldn't speak any more nor look at him in this state. It hurt to not be able to fix him and have to sit idly on the side and wait. I guess I'm not as patient as I thought.

I don't hate Spencer Reid.

I just want him back, I want him okay. I want him to test my skills and to pout when I outdo him. I want to see his challenging glares and to become over enthusiastic when relaying information. To see him rub his neck when he's frustrated or bounce slightly on his toes when he gets an idea. I want that Spencer back, not the one who was unconscious.

"Don't talk to me"

My head snapped up, looking at Reid to see if I had imagined it.

"Someone might think you like me." His voice was raspy as a sly smile slowly brandished his face. I jumped out of my chair and leaned towards him, disbelief overcoming me.

"Reid? Reid, are you okay?" I questioned, shaking his arm. I turned to Emily who was stirring and told her to come over.

"Besides the pain coming from my side, I'm fine." He tried to sit up but Emily and I gently held him down.

"Spencer, do you know what happened?" Emily asked. He stretched as he thought of an answer.

"The team was looking for Belladonna around the building, but it had been a while since Addy had spoken to us. We profiled that it would be Belladonna's final act to hurt Addy, so I ran up to the roof. She had-" he groaned when he stretched his side with the wound.

"She had Addy on her knees and she had a gun. Next thing I know she shot me. I don't- I'm not sure what happened next." 

"That's perfect, thank you. How do you feel?" Emily continued.

"I'm so glad you're awake." I blurted. Spencer turned towards me with a lazy smile.

"I'll go get the rest of the team." Emily patted his hand once before swiftly leaving the room.

"You shouldn't have gone up to the roof." I scolded, pulling the chair closer to the bed to sit down.

"If I didn't, you'd be six feet under. I'd rather take a bullet for you then have you be dead." My heart swelled at the sentiment.

"Thank you, for what you did. It gave me the distraction I needed to stop her." 

"So you admit I saved the day? Someone get that on tape."

"That's why I waited for Prentiss to leave the room so there were no witnesses." I jested. He laughed as much as he could without blowing out his stitches. We got him into a sitting position before most of the team joined us.

"Come here man, I'm glad to see you awake." Morgan walked to the side of the bed and gave Reid an enveloping hug. Reid smiled when Morgan hugged him, hugging him tighter then he should have. Most of the team followed suit and squeezed into the room.

"I'm so glad you didn't die on us, cutie." Garcia's heels clicked as she walked over to Morgan. "Scootch over." She swatted Morgan's arm and stole his place as she gave Reid a big hug.

"Thanks for watching over me, everyone." Reid addressed the room. Hotch and Rossi stood at the end of the bed like overbearing parents. 

"You're lucky Adeline has good lungs." Rossi mentioned. I could feel my face flush as I avoided eye contact. I hate to admit how much I cared for him, I didn't need other people pointing it out.

~~~

The team stayed there for another hour, relaxing into the new feeling surrounding them. 

'This is how the team should be.' Garcia thought, looking around at everyone. She couldn't imagine losing a member of this team, and never wanted any pain to come to any of them. She always worried for them when they left the BAU office, and she was hysterical when learning about Reid.

The other team members thought the same. Reid was the baby of the pack, and everyone felt protective over him. The doctor came in the room and told everyone that Reid was healing nicely and should be out later next week. The team was grateful for his quick release, and after a few more minutes spent together, they started leaving one by one. Prentiss was the last one in the room with Spencer, talking about everything and nothing.

"You know, she wouldn't leave this room. You must've done something to her." Prentiss laughed at the situation before continuing, "It took every bribe I had to get her to go home once in a while. She would even bring the nurses coffee and knows them by first name."

"I would take a bullet for her again. Thinking about what Belladonna could've done..." He looked up at the ceiling, trying not to think much about possible outcomes. Spencer didn't want to think any more about that, it made him feel sick.

"I don't know what's happening, Emily." His voice came out soft and broken. "I've never felt like this before. I don't understand how I can hate her yet want to spend every second with her. I don't want her to ever be in danger and I..." he didn't know what else to say and instead opted to trail off.

"Spencer...it's okay to like her. She is a great person, and she would do anything for you. Hell, she yelled off a rooftop to get you medical attention. She killed someone for you, and she's going to do a lot of paperwork for it." Prentiss tried to lighten the mood, and Reid gave a light chuckle as he smoothed out his blanket.

"Ask her out. Or invite her over for coffee." Emily urged. Spencer nodded, dragging his eyes over to meet hers. He whispered out a 'thank you'.

"Get some sleep Reid. Don't move too much." Prentiss gave his arm a squeeze and left the room for the night. Spencer sat in thought for a bit longer before laying back down. He twisted to turn off the bedside lamp when he stopped in his tracks. His copy of Frankenstein lay on the table, the book open and spine up to hold its place. He smiled as he picked up the book and finished it before he went to bed.