Limitless - The Umbrella Academy

5. "Fun" In Funeral

We all sit at the table, as Five paces around. I still couldn't believe little Five was... here. In our kitchen. Right now. The day after Dad passes away. my hands hold a cup of water, shakily taking a sip.
"What's the date? The exact date." Five says, grabbing the bread from the sink.
"The 24th." Vanya says.
"Of what?" Five spits out.
"March." Vanya replies back quietly.
"Good." He says, pulling out the bread from the package to make a sandwich.
"So... are we going to talk about what just happened?" Luther says, me staring down at my cup of water, making the water inside move. Five stays silent, whilst Luther stands up. "It's been 17 years." He spits out at him. Five scoffs.
"It's been a lot longer than that." Five says as he jumps to the cupboard to pull out some marshmallows.
"I haven't missed that." Luther whispers.
"Where'd you go?" Diego asks, standing with arms crossed.
"The future. It's shit, by the way." As he teleports back to making his sandwich.
"Called it!" Klaus says from ontop of the table. I was still too shaken up to say anything.
"I should've listened to the old man. You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice." He grabs the peanut butter from the fridge, making his sandwich. "Nice dress." He says, looking up and down at Klaus.
"Oh, well, danke!" Klaus says, fluffing out the skirt.
"Wait, how did you get back?" Vanya asks.
"In the end, I had to project my conciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists in every possible instance of time." Five says, as I nod.
"That makes no sense." Diego says, and I shake my head.
"It would if you were smarter." Five says, as Diego stands up, Luther holding him back.
"How long were you there?" Luther asks, still holding Diego back.
"Fourty-five years, give or take." Five says, and we all look up as the boys take a seat.
"So.. what are you saying? That you're 58?" Luther asks.
"No, my conciousness is 58. Apparently, my body is now 13 again." He says, putting his sandwich together.
"Wait, how does that even work?" Vanya says, confused as the rest of them.
"Delores kept saying the equations were off. Eh. Bet she's laughing now." He says, taking a bite of his sandwich.
"Delores?" Vanya says, and I furrow my eyebrows. He ignores the question, picking up the newspaper.
"Guess I missed the funeral." Five says, eating his sandwich.
"How'd you know about that?" Luther questions.
"What part of the future do you not understand?" Five says, shaking his head at the stupidity. "Heart failure, huh?"
"Yeah." Diego says with a smirk.
"No." Luther spits out after him.
"Nice to see nothing's changed." Five says as he walks out of the room.
"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Allison yells out to him, as I sigh.
"There's no point, he's done talking." I say, taking a sip of my water.
"What else is there to say? Circle of life." Five shouts out. As everyone stares around in disbelief, I just shrug.
"Well.. That was interesting." Luther says, looking at all of us.

----

I walk into the living room after processing it all, looking at Five as he stands, looking at the picture of himself above the fire.
"Nice to know dad didn't forget me." Five says to me, turning to me with that same smile I remembered. "Saw some of the articles you wrote in the paper in Maine, by the way, found them in a library that was still standing. I thought they were pretty good, you're really biast." He says, walking around the living room a bit, staring at all the stuff.
"T-thanks I guess. I stopped writing for the paper after Vanya wrote that book. Ruined me." I say, sighing.
"Yeah, that was definitely ballsy, giving up the family secrets. Sure that went over well." He says, sighing staring at the ground.
"I think they don't like her. I don't hold grudges that long though. I always envied her." I say, looking at him.
"Oh, there are worse things that can happen." He says quietly.
"You mean like what happened to Ben?" I say, pursing my lips as he furrows his eyebrows.
"Was it bad?" He says, as I nod, looking away in sadness.
"I'm glad you're back, though. I dont have to worry anymore." I say with a sad smile, walking away.
---
We walk out to the courtyard, the rain pouring down as we all pile out, standing beside each other in a circle as Luther holds the cannister. I open my umbrella, standing outside. I wrap my black coat around my waist, the cold of March making me shiver. I stand beside Five and Klaus.
"Did something happen?" Mom says, making me look at the ground sadly.
"Dad died, remember?" Allison says, looking at her confused.
"Oh, Yes of course." Mom says, staring at the ground sadly.
"Is Mom okay?" Allison says, looking at Diego.
"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She just needs to rest. You know, recharge." He says, getting drenched in rain.
Pogo walks out, umbrella in hand as he looks at all of us, then back at Luther. "Whenever you're ready, dear boy."
Luther opens the cannister, containing all that was left of our piss poor excuse of a father. He dumps it all out, as it falls down onto the ground, just sitting in a pile. "Probably would've been better with some wind." He says as I nod in agreeance, it seeming so anticlimatic.
"Does anyone wish to speak?" Pogo says, looking around. None of us speak up, just looking at the ground. "Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master, and my friend, and i shall miss him very much." Pogo says sadly. "He leaves behind a complicated legacy-" Pogo starts before Diego bumps in.
"He was a monster." He says as Klaus laughs. "He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him." Diego starts.
"Diego-" I start before he cuts me off.
"My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it." He says, as Mom looks up.
"Would anyone like something to eat?" She asks, looking at all of us with that same big smile.
"No, it's okay, Mom." Vanya says as she smiles still.
"Oh, okay."
"Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the kinda man he was." Diego says to Pogo.
"You should stop talking now." Luther says angrily.
"You know, you of all people should be on my side here, Number One." Diego spits.
"I am warning you." Luther says as he inches closer.
"After everything he did to you?" Diego says, as me and Five look at each other, worried but not suprised. This is a funeral, but who said these two couldn't put the 'fun' in funeral? "He had to ship you a million miles away."
"Diego, stop. Talking." Luther says through gridded teeth.
"Thats how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!" Diego spits again, pushing his finger into Luther's chest as Luther pushes his arm away, and starts swinging his fists as Diego as he swiftly dodges them. As they start fighting, I sigh. Five was right, nothing has changed.
"Boys, stop this at once!" Pogo says to them, but they don't listen. Klaus starts to back us up, Five pushing Klaus' hand away in confusion. They start to fight, as it gets more serious.
"Stop it!" Vanya screams out, but nothing could stop these big idiots from fighting. Diego was an asshole and Luther was pissed.
"Hit him! Hit him!" Klaus screams out as I chuckle and look away. Pogo shakes his head and starts heading inside, realising how pointless it was to stop them. They keep hitting and punching at each other, swinging each other around.
"We don't have time for this." Five says, shaking his head and turning towards the door, as I follow after him, pulling Klaus, who was watching in anticipation along with me. I hear a giant crash behind me, looking and seeing Ben's statue gone. I shake my head, turning back around and closing my umbrella heading inside.
My family clearly just doesn't know when to stop.