KALOPSIA ✓

18. the single man

18. the single man
"I live alone. That hasn't always been easy to do. For just a single man. Sometimes at night the walls talk back to me. They seem to say, Wasn't yesterday a better day?"

//

Namjoon sits opposite Hoseok, one leg neatly crossed over the other. his entire body language reflects calmness and class– a way to be a therapist.

according to the textbooks.

Hoseok sits differently however, his elbows are on his bruised knees with his legs spread apart. his trousers are covered with dried up soil and his boots are overused. he doesn't feel different in comparison to Namjoon– he gladly appreciates the fact that they're both male. they just happened to choose different paths and that's okay too.

"so, what's her name?"

Hoseok is quick to answer. "Crema." her name echoes in the spaced out, decorated therapy room– frames of paintings, unused candles, a fireplace that's never lit and a coffee table.

Namjoon nods, watching the way Hoseok's face turns into one of slight admiration and mesmerisation. he leans back, tanned hand rubbing over his lanky arm. he doesn't seem to be angry or disappointed that she may have kept his possible child away from him.

he seems okay– happy even.

"you've told me that you think it's your child. is that right?"

"yeah..." Hoseok replies. he shakes his darkening hair and looks at the carpeted ground. "i'm pretty sure because i remember her. i remember her name because of how unique it was. i remember her black crazy hair and even crazier brown eyes. even though we only spent a few nights together, it was at least two years ago. there's a possibility! you know? i'm not crazy am i?"

"is that what you think?" do you think you're crazy?

"i don't know..." Hoseok thinks to himself. Namjoon feels pleased– thinking and reflecting in therapy is key. "the possibility excites me."

Namjoon hums. "what other specific feelings do you feel?"

"joy, refreshment and uh— what's the word, i just feel like this is an opportunity. a change to have a new life. a better life even," Hoseok beams and Namjoon can't help but smile back at the younger.

something however, comes out in his words. there's dissatisfaction, disappointment with his current life. he wants it to change.

"an opportunity?"

"i gave up on being a father, on needing more. i thought i would be a single man forever." he crosses his boots over each other, licking his lips as he leans back casually in his assigned seat. "now there's a chance."

"let me clarify..." Namjoon thinks, placing his pen on top of his notebook as he thinks before writing his notes. "Crema's daughter potentially being yours is making you feel excited because it's... this is a chance to start something new. a chance to start a family?"

"that's exactly right!"

"what makes you think that Crema would want the same?"

"why wouldn't she?" Hoseok slaps his thigh, still smiling. "we have a child together. i mean i'm not certain for definite but... possibility. there is possibility Namjoon. my gut feeling says it all."

//

the woman feels lost in the supermarket queue.

she stands, unmanageable hair framing her face as she stares at a blank spot on the ground. she holds her shopping basket, arm aching as she's been standing in the queue for so long.