KALOPSIA ✓

28. please think of me

28. please think of me
"So when dusk is falling, I live again the loveliness we knew. I think of you."

//

Taehyung is terribly troubled.

he knows he's always been that way. since being a young child, created by his Italian parents. being terribly troubled due to your understandably harsh parents is something he knows is inevitable. but now— there's no one to blame.

except for himself.

being terribly troubled in your twenties usually means it's your own fault— that you're the cause and meaning behind every issue and conflict surrounding your mind like the songs he unconsciously memorised.

he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he's not doing well.

he knows he isn't but awareness is never enough. he doesn't know how to get out of this dusky cave where there seems to be no light. in his mind, there's trouble. in his personality, there's trouble. in his private and professional life, there's... trouble.

he wakes up each morning, more tired than the day before. he sleeps five hours, sometimes less and his body makes sure he knows that throughout the day. he records songs, plays for audiences and engages in chatter as he's always done. in between, his secret but not so secret lovers are alcohol and cigarettes. but those are not the only things giving him temporary comfort and distraction anymore.

right now, he resides in his friend's villa— Oliver. the same man he knows he should stay in contact with more. he's thrown a party in which ecstatic Taehyung handled the guest list. the guests are certain that it's Taehyung's party and not Oliver's— completely denying the fact that they're at a black man's party.

the late hours of the night are usually the worst but tonight is an exception. Taehyung hates to be alone and he's glad he isn't tonight— surrounded by friends, better named as acquaintances, a glass table with almost finished bottles of brownish alcohol and several ash trays for the men with cigarette addictions.   

after filling his glass with another drink, he sits at the edge of a leather seat with no back. sitting next to someone he doesn't know well isn't bothersome— the two act like they know each other as they smile, chat amongst the other men.

"boys, i do have a surprise for you." suddenly, a man in the group speaks up. Taehyung squints slightly, trying to see the person who has spoken but a woman has now walked into the room.

his eyes appear drowsy but his chest jolts as the woman glances around the room, swinging her hips to the low, jazz music that plays in the background. it takes Taehyung a few minutes to realise that it's his song— his! it's his fucking voice.

his chestnut eyes meet the woman's. what he didn't expect was such a shocked reaction and neither did the men. the woman screams, hands flying upwards as she throws herself at the singer.

the man can barely react as he grips the glass too tightly and hits his ringed finger against his tooth by accident. the woman physically attacks him— clearly a fan as she rips open his button up shirt. the buttons are soon everywhere and Taehyung feels heavily exposed. he doesn't attempt to cover up his body but pushes the lady away respectfully, uncomfortably before standing up with a look of pure distress.

Oliver kindly asks the fangirl to leave.

"i feel dirty." Taehyung hates that he has to announce a statement to the group of men he's surrounded by— why? no one asked him to yet he feels like he needs to explain. "i'm gonna take a shower." he mumbles, feeling uncomfortable with what had just happened. it made him feel so gruesome that he felt tears prick his eyes.

he leans against the bathroom door once he's inside. the steam fills the room as he starts to overthink about the life he is building for himself. he came from nothing for God's sake, he's here for a reason. he's not doing well in his professional and personal life due to decreased sales, scandals and even more nonsense such as him being accused of a murder. truthfully, everything is slipping from his fingertips— all expect one thing...

"i'm leaving boys." he announces, hand raising once he's dressed.

Yoongi simply watches his best friend leave. there isn't pity in his eyes but it could easily be seen as exactly that.

//

drunk Taehyung leans against Crema's doorframe. when she opens the door, he remains cool and casual as a slow, seductive smile spreads over his lips.

"what are you doing here?" she picks her nose with a tissue, swiping her hair away from her face as she blinks at him. "i was sleeping and it's four o clock in the morning for fuck's sake."

"i came—" he clears his throat, reaching out for her as he kicks the front door behind him. however, he doesn't kick it hard enough which causes it to stay open. "i came to see you." he slurs.

Crema sighs, walking past him to close the door. just as she's about to walk past the person she considers her lover, he grabs her in his arms— wrapping her in his comfort. his warmth surges through her body as he holds her close. she doesn't, as she usually does, wrap her arms around his neck and peck his lips softly.

Taehyung notices that— even when he's drunk.

he's seeking something in her but she's turning him away. she fights against his arms, asking to be let go of. Taehyung doesn't listen. instead, he nuzzles his nose into the crook of her neck, licking a long line downwards. "why? just stay."

"you're bad for me."

"i hate you." but her hands say otherwise as she grips the back of his hair. Taehyung gulps, moaning softly when he notices the glare in her eyes— she's hurting him just the way he must have hurt her. he doesn't even know what he's done but he must have done something. he knows himself.

"no, you love me." he traps her. her back now leans against the kitchen counter as his hands slip underneath her robe.

Crema moans, tugging harder which makes him glare but grow even hotter. "that too." she sighs, trying not to think about how Taehyung left the Claude brothel this week— her workplace.