A Glow Of Happiness

Chapter 25. William

I knock on her door, but I'm more than nervous. Nick called me last night to tell me I needed to speak with Isa, and I know he's right, but after ignoring her for over a week, I have no idea what I'm supposed to say. The door opens to reveal Aubrey glaring at me.

"I came to apologize," I say.

"She went to take a shower, she'll be back soon," she says coldly.

She lets me inside, and I sit on Isa's bed where a pile of paper and notebooks are scattered. Aubrey leaves the dorm room as soon as I settle in, and I'm not sure if she wants to give us privacy, or she just can't stand to be around me right now. I guess both options could be good answers. I'm looking around her messy bed when I see my name on the top right corner of a paper. I recognize Isa's writing, and before I can restrain myself, I take the piece of paper in my hand.

Maybe true love never was about fireworks and butterflies lasting forever

Maybe true love was always about calm and peace

Maybe it was always about coming home from a long trip

Maybe it was always about feeling safe and understood

Maybe it's supposed to make you go crazy, and ecstatic, and make you feel peaceful and safe all at once

Maybe it's meant to be felt so deeply in your soul it grounds you down like roots

Maybe true love is found in racing heartbeats, but grows in steady ones

Maybe it's about loving even when the butterflies are gone

And if I speak honestly, maybe I'm in love with you

Maybe this is true love

Something felt between two souls

Something understood between two hearts

Something with ups and downs

But always fought for

Maybe I had been looking for the wrong thing all along

And it's when I stopped looking that I found it

Unsure of what it was

For I had never felt so certain of someone

Of something

So here I am

Falling in love with you

Finally, understanding

That love is felt, not understood

I gulp down. This is too much, too real, too intense. I do not want her to feel this way towards me. I don't want to admit that her words describe exactly how I feel about her too. Her words are like a punch in my face as I try to make sense of what it means to me. Does it mean I love her? It can't. I can't love her; I can't let her have this much power over me. Suddenly I'm not sure why I'm here anymore, and as I get up to run out of here, Isa opens the door. She seems surprised, but when her eyes land on the piece of paper in my hand her eyes widen.

"What are you doing?" she asks me.

"Did you write that?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Is it about me?" I whisper.

My hands are shaking and my breathing is unsteady as I wait for her answer.

"Would you mind if it is?" she asks unsurely.

"I don't want it to be about me," I blurt out.

My mind and my heart are battling inside of me as I try to make sense of my emotions. I want to apologize for being an asshole and kiss her but at the same time, I want to run away like I always do.