Arrowverse One Shots

Caitlin - Panic Attack

Barry came speeding in with a flash of lightning, papers flying everywhere as per usual.

"Metahuman is officially locked in the pipeline," he said with a smirk. This had been an easy one and done and you could tell he was a little proud of himself.

"Great," started Cisco. "And it's not even eight yet so technically we still have time to run through that-" Iris slowly leaned over in her seat and looked up at him pleadingly with big puppy dog eyes, eliciting a sigh. "Time for you to go home with your wife," he finished. The pair silently cheered and began gathering their things.

"Don't you guys ever get tired of each other?" Caitlin asked sarcastically, knowing full well what the answer was.

"Never," Barry said, swinging his arm around Iris' waist.

"Aw babe, promise?" She laughed.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." After brief goodbyes, the two sped off. As Caitlin made her way back to the lab she couldn't help but hear Barry's words echo throughout her head.

'Cross my heart and hope to die'

What should have been just a sweet moment instead caused Caitlin's breath to catch in the back of her throat. Everything began to spin as she was transported into a memory she'd long managed to suppress.

She was laying in bed, Cisco at her bedside cracking jokes with Jello in hand. The incision in her side still ached from being operated on just hours earlier, the bright white bandage still fresh. "Cross my heart and hope to-" she'd said, before suddenly feeling a slight twinge and then seeing nothing but pitch black. It was as if something had taken over her body and she was no longer in control, just a hostage within her own mind. Though she couldn't see or feel a thing, Caitlin was vaguely aware of the voices surrounding her, more specifically the utter panic in them. "Hold her down!" she'd heard Julian command, though she couldn't even feel the hands on her body. The shrill beeping of the various monitors were mind numbing, but not enough to cover Cisco's frantic sobs just inches behind Caitlin's head. No matter how hard she tried, no energy seemed to be able to force her eyes open or restore her consciousness. She was forced to sit as witness for what she could only assume was her own death, until finally everything came to a stop. This was the last thing Caitlin remembered, before the vague flashes during her life as Killer Frost began.

When she was eventually turned back to her normal self, Caitlin didn't tell anyone about what she'd experienced. After the trauma she'd put her friends through, both on that day and in the aftermath, the last thing she wanted was to make it any worse. As for right now, though, Caitlin was still stuck deep in that memory, unable to stop hearing those words. It was Cisco's sobs that hurt the most, she remembered that sound as if it had just happened recently and couldn't make it stop. She reached towards the table, trying so hard to balance herself as she lost her sense of direction. Her struggle to breathe made everything become blurry, gasps turning into sobs. Pure terror took over as reality quickly faded away. Caitlin could no longer tell which way was up, attempting to step forward but her knees immediately buckling.

As she made her way towards the ground Caitlin felt a pair of arms suddenly around her, holding her tight and guiding her to the floor. The person followed her down, taking a seat beside her and pulling her close. As Caitlin rode out her panic attack she became aware of a heartbeat that wasn't her own. She kept her ear close to the sound and focused on it as her senses slowly began to return, meanwhile a hand was gently stroking her hair. When her vision finally came back into focus, Caitlin lifted her gaze to see brown eyes looking down at her, worried tears falling from them.

"Cisco," she murmured, suddenly embarrassed.

"Oh thank god you're back," he sighed. "You had me worried there for a second."

"How long was I out?"

"Just a few minutes," he replied, his arms still secured around her body. "Do you remember what happened?" Caitlin nodded slowly. "You wanna tell me?" He felt her body stiffen, obviously hesitant to do so.

"It's stupid," she said, shaking her head.

"Try me."

Caitlin took a deep breath before finally speaking. "The night that I.... I died," she began. "I remember it." Cisco's face suddenly paled. Caitlin went on to explain the experience, what she remembered, what she'd heard. Grief washed over his face as he too began to recall that night, suddenly intensifying when she admitted that she'd heard him crying over her seemingly dead body. He could only imagine what that had done to her.

"I had no idea," he said finally after a long pause. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't want you to, I just thought it would hurt you."

Cisco managed to crack a smile. "Only you, Caitlin Snow, would get impaled by a murderous metahuman, basically perform your own surgery, literally die, and still think you're hurting other people."

"Well I would be a bit concerned if someone else had had that same experience," she added, relieving a bit of the intensity.

"Fair enough."

Something about admitting all of that took so much weight off of Caitlin's shoulders. She still had the memories, but she wasn't alone with them anymore.

The two remained in that spot for another twenty minutes, still clinging to each other, until Caitlin finally stopped shaking.

"How about," Cisco began, pushing the hair out of her face and then his own. "We go get some food. I'm buying."

"Sounds perfect."

Cisco helped Caitlin on to her feet and then paused to look at her. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I do now."

Posting two days in a row?? Who do I think I am? Anyway here's a depressing but also somewhat fluffy thing my brain managed to come up with.