Hell Above

14

“Can I put on my songs now?” I ask.

“I guess that’s fine.” My mother replied. She hates my music. But it’s my turn and I want to listen to my songs out loud I’m getting tired of my headphones in my ears. I grab the radio cable and plug my phone into it. I unlock my phone and hit my music. I press the album labeled Collide with the Sky. The album came out 2 days ago. I’ve almost memorized every word on the album. I love it.

My mother and I had gone up to our lake house on Tuesday the day the album came out. We weren’t planning to come back until Sunday but we left a few days early because we got into a fight. I was reading my book that I had recently gotten at a small book store up there but I had finished it and I wanted to listen to my music for the next three hours we were going to spend in the car. I hit play.

A Match into Water comes through the speakers, my favorite song on the album at the moment. The beginning really speaks to me. It’s amazing what they can do to words in their songs. They make everything they sing about sound beautiful.

“I kissed the scars on her skin…” I sing with Vic’s beautiful voice. This song has got to have the best lyrics on the album. It’s so sad yet so pretty and wonderful. It tells the story of him and his ex-girlfriend who he is still really close with. She has cancer and she’s going through the treatment. That’s where the lyrics ‘The chemicals will bring you home again’ come from. I lie back in my seat and close my eyes. I let the words flow through my body. I mouth every word until the ending. Their music relieves me. I feel so calm after listening to them. Like nothing in the world can harm me or get to me.

As the minutes pass and every song goes by I get more and more excited. This coming Tuesday is warped tour, my first year actually being allowed to go. The year before practically everyone I knew was going and that’s all we talked about that day.

“Hey invite _____ over.”

“He said he’s at warped tour dude.”

“Aw man…”

I was going to go with my best friend and one of her friends. They both went with each other last year. I was so surprised this year. When I asked my mom if I could go with Summer (my best friend) she said I could. My mom’s really over protective and she rarely lets me do anything if she can’t supervise. I’m almost 18 and yet she still won’t let me go to concerts without some kind of parental supervision. Summers mother will be there but she doesn’t watch over us. She goes off and listens to other bands. There is a reverse day care but she doesn’t go there either.

My mom used to be the cool mom among the two of them. But lately this year she’s been getting edgy. Always wondering where I am, what I’m doing, and who I’m with. Like an overly jealous and attached girlfriend. This year it will be Summer’s mom who is cool with us doing anything. I think my mom is getting like this because she knows I’m getting older and closer to leaving this house.

I switch the albums. Now I put on Southern Constellations. I close my eyes. This time when I listen to it I focus on Tony’s guitar playing, focusing on the strum pattern. I’m not a very good guitarist so I can never tell what chords they are using or anything you could pick out by listening to it. I don’t only do this with guitar sometimes I’ll focus on Mike’s drums or Jamie’s bass but right now I wanted to hear the guitar.

I wish I was at one of their live shows right now. I love the way that you can feel the bass vibrations and the drum beat inside your chest when you’re at a live show. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. In five days I’ll be able to feel that sensation. I’ll be able to be right there front and center and feel there music for the first time.

I roll down the window of our blue jeep. I put my head out the window looking at all the trees and wildlife. I feel like I’m in a dramatic movie. The slow song in the background as my long dark wavy hair whips in the wind. I haven’t straightened my hair since I went up to the lake house. I know so few people up there I didn’t care about my appearance. I put my head back in the car and roll up my window. The air outside was a little humid. We had the air conditioning on in the car so it seemed like a waste to have the window down too.

I settle back into my seat and put my hair up. The music playing made me want to fall asleep. I recline my seat a little and curl up on my right side. I close my eyes and I drift off with the music singing me to sleep. I’m used to sleeping to Pierce the Veil. I always do. When I’m about to go to sleep I turn them on, on my iPod. Since I’ve found them I can’t sleep without their music. It just doesn’t feel right without it anymore.