The Best Mistake

Chapter 22; Troublesome Friendships

Jungkook P.O.V

Kim Fucking Taehyung.
Why would you do that?

I kicked the duvet off me in embarrassment and snuggled my face into the pillow. My mind drifted back to a few minutes ago when I was with Taehyung and he kissed me.

I peeked at the peacefully sleeping Taehyung next to me but hid my face in the pillow again. What was I so embarrassed for? What was I so flustered for?

I don't know.

I don't really remember having to do anything with Taehyung then why did that one kiss make me feel things that I had never felt before?

I could still feel his soft lips on mine. I could feel my cheeks getting redder as I continued thinking about him.

What's happening to you Jungkook...
Are you really thinking about considering some sort of feelings for him? You can't afford to do that, Jungkook.

Stop before it's too late.
It's not really in my control.

Are you really ready for it?
Maybe.

You're seriously gonna hurt him and yourself. Again?
I don't want to.

Then get back to your boring life.
I guess I'll have to.

I sighed after having a little conversation with my practical self and as always, it won over my other self that tried to be happier.

Did I already forget what had led to the kiss?

It was them. I still remember...
I remember each and every face in that group of people. Why did I have to come across my bullies here? I really thought I'd never see them again but that's not it, I guess.

I thought I'd get over it as time passed by but it never happened. Even today, my heartbeat fastens when I see them, I can't breathe and become helpless. I hate this. I don't like being weak and needing others to escape from situations but what do I do...even after building up my physique, I can't fight back the traumas I have.

They probably don't even remember me but for me, they've become a part of my pathetic life.

Why do I have to be so miserable? What did I ever do to deserve such a shitty life? Even if it was shitty, at least I could've been stronger; not just physically but mentally too.

I am strong, but only physically. And it's of no help for a person like me. How do you expect me to throw a punch at someone when I'm having a hard time breathing?

This is all so messed up. I am messed up.

I should just go back to not giving a damn about others and think about myself first. Was I really the target of a human trafficking mob? Considering my life till now, I probably am.

It wasn't too healthy for me to overthink in the middle of night for no reason but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about all of it. The mafia mob, bullies and Taehyung...

I better stop now.

I couldn't think properly anymore. Whatever crossed my mind made sense but at the same time, it didn't. But eventually everything turned out to be unfortunate. All of it.

I could feel my palms sweating again. I roughly and hastily rubbed them on my thighs and stared up at the ceiling with no expression but a million thoughts hiding somewhere within me.

I need them...

I quickly sat up on the bed while taking a quick glance at Taehyung to check if he's still sleeping.