The Best Mistake

Chapter 14; Soju

Jungkook P.O.V

"Why are you so afraid of clowns?" Taehyung asked as he leaned forward and looked at me.

We were still sitting under that huge tree because he thought it'd be good for me to take in some more fresh air.

I still felt a bit sick. I had taken some of my pills yesterday before his parents came and later at night he too gave me medicine. I tried avoiding but I couldn't. It was as if I was on a sleeping pill. I got really dizzy that I slept on the couch and woke up finding myself snuggled up with him(he was pretty warm though). I wouldn't have been able to wake up today if it weren't for the nightmare I had. And fortunately, I woke up first and helped myself out of the couch.

"They remind me of someone." Memories flashed in my almost dead mind. I could still see it. How could I ever forget it...

I had no idea why I was telling all of that to him. Really.
I had decided to not be 'frank' with anyone anymore but this time, it just felt different for a weird reason.

He just nodded and didn't question further. Probably this was the reason I could talk to him. He never questioned me too much. If I'm not giving details, he won't ask for them. He knew when to stop with a particular topic and he never asked things that were hard for me to answer.

"I can't believe I'm sitting here on the ground, dirtying my clothes." He said with a frown, rubbing some nonexistent dirt off his hoodie.

"Can you not act like a rich spoilt brat for a second?" I looked over at him.
"Sorry, what- I'm not some spoilt brat. I have a reputation you know, unlike someone." He side eyed me.

"Well if that's the case, I really don't want any reputation." I said as I leaned back against the tree with a wave of pride.

He secretly smiled which caught my attention. He had a beautiful smile. If only he did that more often, life would've been way better and enjoyable for him.

It was silent until a little bug somewhere from the tree landed on Taehyung's hand. He flinched and quickly shook his hand in the air while shifting in his place for that little thing to make escape while groaning.

"You literally fear everything." I said and looked away from him.
He turned to face me with an almost judging look.

"Do you have any idea how weird you are for not being scared of anything? No but really, do you have no fear?" His tone changed from a mocking one to utter curiosity.

Fear...What even is fear? It is a feeling which some people don't even consider real. Fear is just an illusion for some people. It's just your thoughts trying to scare you. Our thoughts are what control fear. But what controls our thoughts? Do we even have a control over our thoughts?

If I'm thinking about someone kidnapping me and selling me off to some crazy person, does that mean I want it to happen? Why did I think of it in the first place? I don't want that to happen so why am I even thinking about it? This was fear. A feeling you don't want but you think about it and for the people around you......it's just your thoughts.
And then, it turns into an illusion which haunts you every time you try to not think about it.

"It's not possible to have no fear." I blurted out as I noticed he was waiting for me to answer while I was zoning out.

"Yeah exactly. What are you scared of?" He cupped his cheeks in his palms as he asked.

I fell silent for a while. What was I scared of? That was an easy but at the same time a difficult question.
I didn't have to think much before I blurted out.