All's Fair in Love and War [ON HIATUS]

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Warning: Sexual references and major cursing within the chapter. You've been warned.

[Naruto PoV]

Life.

It's a awesome yet horrible thing sometimes.

Ok that was way to deep for my tiny ass brain so I'm gonna snap back to the present:

I just woke up and I walked into the kitchen where Ino was cooking. My eyes widened as I remembered almost everything from last night. I picked Ino up and sat her on a bar stool.

"Naruto what the hell-?!"

"You shouldn't be doing that! Go rest Hime." I pointed to the couch in the living room and she clicked her tongue.

"What, like you know how to cook?" She asked. I'm slightly offended by that.

"Hey I can cook!"

"No, no you can't." Came a voice. I looked to see Shikamaru standing there shirtless.

"How would you know?" I snapped. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Naruto, it really is a drag reminding you, do you forget that we've all known each other since we were, like, 9? 10? Well except Ino and the Suna Sibs but other than that we were all best friends. We know how you are. Before Ino put you in line all you ate was noodles." I rolled my eyes.

"That's not the point the point is Ino shouldn't be wearing herself out."

"I don't think she can wear herself out by holding a spatula and standing."

"Yeah well-"

"Naruto, as her doctor I give her full permission to cook breakfast now shut the fuck up at go back to bed!" Tsunade shouted from her and Dan's room. I sighed and sat on the bar while Ino cooked omelet's for everyone. Tenten was up next and I noticed she looked really pale and she kept rubbing her stomach.

"Tenten are you sick or something?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it's a sickness only women get it's called pregnancy it lasts about 9 months." She said lazily. Wait.. Ohhhh that took a minute to sink in but I get it now.

"Ah, I see." I nodded and jumped off the counter. Wait, question-

"How long, Ino?" I asked. She looked up at me and hesitated.

"4 months." My jaw dropped.

"You.. how-I.... how have you kept that secret for 5 months?"

"Because only us girls knew." Hinata said walking in. 

"And we were sworn to secrecy." Temari's voice came from the hallway.

"But don't worry, we only knew for about 2 1/2 months." Kurenai said happily coming into the room. Asuma wasn't smoking for once and... is that a smile? He must've got laid.

"TWO AND A HALF WH-" I turned to Ino and she shrugged and nodded.

"How did you find out? We don't have a test here! And Tsunade is usually crazy loud when she does that stuff." I asked her. Sakura came into the room with Sarada on her hip.

"Well you see Naruto, we were simply out looting when I found some tests in a store, so I brought them back to Tsunade and Ino to show them, when Ino went really stuttery and awkward like Hinata used to be around you. I explained what I thought we'd need them for when she just grabbed the tests and ran, so Tsunade went to check on her and about 10 minutes later I come into the bathroom where Ino was bawling, mumbling things about how 'he's gonna leave me' and 'oh my kami a kid in the middle of a war'. At first I had no idea what she was talking about until I saw the test half way across the room where according to Tsunade she threw it. So that day we came home and gathered all the ladies in my room because Sasuke was out doing something that day and Hinata used her weird eye thingy to look at Ino's stomach and Tsunade confirmed it. So we all squealed, group hugged, then Temari later told me that she too was pregnant. So now we have 4 pregnant women in the house." All the guys stopped what they were doing at the last statement.