Impermanent Perfection - jatp/luke

1.16

the next monday, jade went to school in the morning. she wanted to go to see her mom but she wasn't sure she was ready yet. she told herself she would go sometime this week, though she wasn't completely convinced she would actually have the nerve to do it.

it was weird being at school after their show on friday, students kept asking jade and julie for pictures with them. neither girl really understood why, it's not like they're famous or anything.

since she first walked into the school, jade kept her head down trying to focus on just getting to class without a bunch of other students trying to talk to her. she appreciated the support, it was just a lot.

on her way from second to third period, jade almost ran right into matt when he stopped in front of her in the hallway. she had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't been paying attention to any of the students around her.

"oh, sorry." she said quickly, taking a step back to catch herself from falling over.

"all good." he says with a small laugh, grabbing her shoulders to help balance her slightly. "can i ask you something?" he dropped his hands from her shoulder, his face turning slightly serious.

"okay." she says hesitantly, nervous about where this might be going.

"that guitarist in your band, are you guys like, a thing?" he asks and jade's eyes widened in surprise.

"no, no we're not together or anything." she tells him quickly and matt nods. "thanks for coming to the party, by the way." she adds, smiling slightly at him.

it was strange to jade that something she had wanted for so long, meaning her and matt getting closer, was finally happening, but she wasn't excited about it. in fact, she didn't really care. there was some else now that she cared about getting closer to now.

"of course, you invited me." he grins. when he smiled at her now it seemed more genuine than before. he didn't seem to be acting anymore. "and i really wanted to see you perform again." he adds, making jade smile slightly.

"thanks," jade says, her smile growing slightly thinking about the band. "we've been working really hard on perfecting our bands sound and-"

"no jade, i wanted to see you perform." he interrupts her, still smiling at her.

"oh, uh, thanks." she stutters out awkwardly. she wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. that was the kind of thing she had been waiting for years to hear from him, but now it's like it didn't matter.

"i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out sometime," he asks, scratching the back of his head slightly. "like, with me." he adds.

jade had never seen matt this nervous before, about anything. he always seemed so confident and sure of himself, but now he looked almost vulnerable.

"oh wow, you- um, like a date, you mean?" jade stutters on her words, her mind spinning from confusion. he wants to go out with her?

"uh, yeah." he says with a small laugh, the nervous look still in his eyes.

jade was frozen, she did know what to say. this was all she'd wanted for years and now that it was happening, she just felt uncomfortable and a little sad because she knew that the boy in front of her wasn't the one she wanted to be with. after a moment of awkward silence, matt cleared his throat slightly.

"you like that guitarist, don't you?" he asks slowly and jade nodded slightly. matt let out a small sigh and nodded back. "you guys may not be together, but you might as well be. i've never seen someone look at a person the way he looks at you."