brown haired boy ✓

twenty-five.

i don't know what it was exactly that broke him, the kiss or his thoughts but neither of us cared as my hands raked through his dark hair, his head resting on my shoulder. my rings shone through the slick blackness, the rings i had started to wear more often because i liked the way miles could pull wearing rings off so effortlessly.

he was facing me, staring at the ground, his forehead in between my shoulder and my neck as i felt him shake; his lips pressed against me as he breathed outwards, letting out a quivering sob that you could tell he was trying to suppress as his tears flooded my shoulder.

"i don't- i don't want to be like this, georgia. i want to like you without feeling guilt, you know?" I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince me or himself. his breaths were getting even more labored as he choked on his words, his tears making it even harder to talk, the effort straining, "i feel so fucking guilty but... but-"

"miles," my hand cradled the back of his neck as i tried to make him feel wanted and needed and not on the brink of losing himself, "it's okay."

i hushed and lulled him into quietness as his tears became only hollow breaths and he felt around for a pack of cigarettes underneath his black button up, in his pockets, pulling at his camouflage shirt as he tried to give himself air. breathing rapidly, his hands were fidgeting; his eyes were red and puffy and he was cursing himself when he realized he didn't bring anything with him. he didn't have his cigs.

miles pulled himself away, frantically.

he started scratching at his wrists, hyperventilating as red marks appeared before i could grab him, "miles, stop." he wouldn't listen, screwing his eyes shut as he clenched his perfect angular jawline, "stop." and that was when i grabbed his tattooed wrists, his head casting down at me, the tears building again as he realized what happened.

"georgia, i need it," the urgency in his tone was clear, he didn't think he could continue on without smoking. he was an addict.

raising his head to look up at me, he was defeated, his lips parting and voice coming out groggy and thick with emotion. miles' voice broke every few seconds as he spoke, "sing to me?"