DAMAGED // spencer reid

36

Addie's POV:

I can't believe Spencer brought a date. A fucking date.

And of course, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Not to mention, totally the opposite of me appearance-wise. I don't even know why I'm mad, it's not like I'm dating him or anything. He can bring a date if he wants to, he's a grown man.

But jeez, it hurts.

I have to remind myself that I literally just broke things off with my own boyfriend, and Spencer didn't seem jealous when he found out about Dylan, right? I just though... I thought that maybe he still had feelings for me. I know it's stupid, after everything we've been through and all the time we've been apart, but I really believed it.

Maybe I'm the one who still loves him.

It feels silly to admit to myself, especially since I know I don't deserve him and we can't be together. Our relationship came and went, what's done is done. I thought that when I came back from San Francisco I would get over him, but seeing him again just brought all my feelings back. I never really stopped loving him, but I thought it would be better if we both moved on with our lives.

Of course, Spencer is obviously doing that with Katie. I am such a hypocrite.

"Do you have anything stronger than this?" I ask Rossi while everyone is having their own loud conversations at the dinner table, holding up my glass of wine.

"I have just the thing," Rossi smirks, getting up and retrieving an expensive-looking single malt scotch. I glance across the table where Spencer is in deep conversation with Katie and I suddenly feel like I've been punched in the gut.

"No, no! Get us ladies some tequila shots!" Penelope exclaims from next to me, pointing accusingly at the scotch in his hand. He simply rolls his eyes at our "lack of culture" and comes back with tequila instead. Penelope, Savannah and I clink shots before downing them, the liquor burning my throat.

"It feels like I'm in college again," I mutter, coughing slightly.

"Ugh, I'm jealous," JJ complains, a hand on her swollen belly. Willow examines JJ curiously, not having come in contact with many pregnant women before.

"She's having a baby, Wills. Henry is going to get a sibling," I tell her.

"If you have a baby, will I get a sibling?" Willow questions.

"Um... I suppose so, yeah," I chuckle, stroking her hair. I don't have to look to feel Spencer's eyes on us.

"Come on, let's dance!" Penelope says, handing me another shot and grabbing my hand.

"I have to drive home!" I laugh, downing the shot anyways. Guess I'll be calling an Uber tonight. People start to get up, heading into the backyard that is illuminated by strings of fairy lights. Penelope starts dancing wildly, and I can only assume she's already drunk. I'm feeling slightly tipsy.

"C'mon, Addie!"

"I'm not really into dancing," I admit, smiling as I watch her.

"We're at a party and we both look smoking hot! Let's dance!" Penelope practically yells.

"Fuck it," I decide, grabbing two more shots and throwing them back. I definitely feel fuzzy due to the fact that I rarely drink, making me a total lightweight. I grab Willow and swing her around in my arms to the music as she laughs. Soon all the ladies are dancing as the men watch, amused.

"The party is just getting started!" Savannah grins, retrieving another round of shots and handing them out to us. I know I am definitely going to regret getting this drunk, but I haven't let loose in such a long time. Each of us downs our shot and Savannah grabs Willow's hand to dance with her.

"You're right, Pen, I look fucking hot tonight!" I exclaim a little too loudly, throwing my arms in the air and dancing wildly. I spot Katie at the edge of the dance floor, looking happy but still not comfortable enough to come dance with the ladies. Fine by me.

"Hell yeah you do!" She cackles as we link arms and spin each other around.

"You know what? Fuck Dylan! Fuck that son of a bitch!"

"You broke up?" Penelope's eyes widen.

"Yep! I don't even know why I dated the guy in the first place. Ugh!"

"I could take a guess," Penelope smirks.

"What?"

"Maybe to make a certain doctor jealous," she grins, gesturing not-so-subtly toward Spencer. Suddenly, before I can help myself, my eyes start to water.

"Oh god, what's wrong? Did I say something?" Penelope questions, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"No, I'm just drunk!" I cry, starting to full-on sob. This is why I don't get drunk. Yep, I'm an emotional drunk. Penelope leads me off the dance floor, which is probably for the best because the slow songs are starting to play.

"Is everything okay?" JJ and Spencer approach us as I sit down in a chair.

"We're both drunk. Except Addie's an emotional drunk," Penelope giggles.

"Just ignore me," I reply, sniffling. Everyone, except for me and Rossi, heads back onto the dance floor while Willow, Jack and Henry go off to play. I watch Hotch dance with Beth and Derek dance with Savannah, both couples swaying happily in each other's arms. JJ and Will are also dancing, so are Spencer and Katie. They both look happy, she's laughing at something he said. He's holding her waist, so he's obviously comfortable enough with her to touch her, something he wouldn't usually do. I quickly wipe away the tears that start to fall down my cheeks.

I am never getting drunk again.

The song ends, and Rossi and I clap at the couples.

"This is nice, having everyone together again. Especially you, my dear," Rossi says, offering me a tissue.

"You're too sweet," I laugh, patting his arm and blowing my nose.

"Care to dance?" A voice in front of me asks, causing me to snap my head up. Spencer stands there, a small smile on his face as he outstretches his hand.

"Where's Katie?" I ask hesitantly.

"Restroom. Why, do you not want to dance with your best friend?" He jokes. I laugh, but inside my heart is beating out of my chest. I take his hand, which is warm, as he leads me onto the dance floor for the start of the next song. He places his hands on my hips, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my body. I slowly wrap my arms around his neck, something I literally haven't done in years. It feels so familiar, yet foreign at the same time. He looks slightly nervous, so I'm glad I'm not the only one. We start swaying to the rhythm of the music. Everything around us fades, and it's just Spencer and I.

"Do you love her?" I question. Fuck it, I'm already drunk so I might as well take advantage of my bluntness.

"Pardon?" Spencer tenses, confused.

"Katie. You're dating, right?"

"Oh, um, I... not officially, no," he replies slowly.

"So you don't love her?"

"What is this about?" He eventually whispers, staring into my eyes.

"I just need to know, Spencer, are you in love?" I insist.

"Yes," he says. My heart sinks.

"You're in love with Katie," I state numbly, not a question anymore.

"No. Not with Katie," he whispers, brushing a piece of hair out of my face. My heart begins racing again.

"Then... with who?" I whisper even softer, so quietly I'm not sure if he heard me. Spencer leans closer to me, our faces dangerously close.

"You know who."

"Say it," I plead.

"Addie Grant, I love you," Spencer murmurs, pressing his lips against mine.

********************************************************
YAAYYYY HAPPINESSSSS #spaddie
thank you guys for 24k views and for voting 😎✌️
I'll try to update more regularly but school is kicking my ass 😪 expect a longer update this weekend though!