DAMAGED // spencer reid

6

The jet finally lands and we split into groups. Spencer, Morgan and I are going to the trailer park while everyone else sets up at the small police station. I'm quiet the entire drive there, only speaking to give directions. When we arrive, I smooth down my formal attire and take a few deep breaths. My heels are a little shaky in the gravel as I walk up to my mom's trailer, it looks exactly like when I was a kid. I look back at the boys for reassurance before knocking. I hear rustling inside before the door swings open to reveal my mother. She looks the same, too, maybe a few more gray hairs and wrinkles. Her eyes are slightly puffy, like she's been crying.

"Adeline?" She questions, taken aback. "What—?"

"I'm here to find Willow," I say stonily, flashing her my FBI badge. "Can we come in?" Her eyes widen and she nods, making room for us. The trailer is small, but all of us fit inside.

"Ms. Cohen? I'm SSA Morgan and this is Dr. Reid, and you know Dr. Grant, of course," Derek says.

"Grant?" My mom asks.

"I changed my name before joining the FBI, you know this," I reply, looking her dead in the eye. She shrunk a little under my gaze. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, I knew he didn't know that Grant wasn't actually my last name.

"Uh, er, do you mind telling us what happened before Willow went missing?" Spencer finally asked.

"I was at work, I got a new waitressing job at a diner down the street. I told Willow to stay in the trailer, like I always do, but the door was wide open when I got back and she was gone," mom says, choking up.

"You left her alone?!" I exclaim. "She's only five!"

"I have to make money, Adeline! And it isn't like you were here to help look after her," mom spits back at me, finally gathering her courage.

"Oh, so now it's my fault! It always is, isn't it? Somehow you continue to find ways to put the blame on me," I mutter.

"You can't just come back here after saying you would never again, not with your fancy clothes and heightened ego!"

"So you're still holding our argument against me? It's been two damn years, Mom! I'm sorry I decided that I didn't want to come back to this shithole and help you fix all your mistakes! I got out of here and turned my life around, you're just jealous because you were never able to!"

"Addie..." Derek warned.

"No, I'm not finished! I had a really crappy childhood, did you know that?" I glare at my mother. "I was a fucking genius and you never even knew it because you were too busy getting drunk or smoking weed! And I know you saw the cuts on my arms when dad hurt me, but you never said anything! You never even cared. So did you really expect me to leave my career to move back here and look after Willow after Todd left you? After everything, you really thought I owed you that?" At this point tears are streaming angrily down my face, my fists are bunched at my sides. My mother is crying too, silently. I can't even look her in the face, I decide to storm out before I start saying more things that I'll regret later. The cool evening air hits my body and it feels amazing. I kneel outside the trailer, trying to catch my breath. It feels like I'm hyperventilating, drowning on land.

"Shh, just breathe. There you go, nice and slow," Spencer's voice says in my ear, his hands holding onto my arms. We stay like that for a few minutes before he crouches next to me, our elbows touching.

"I'm sorry," I finally whisper.

"Why?" He looks at me, eyebrows furrowed.

"For making a scene, I don't know. It wasn't very professional."

"Addie, you don't have to be professional with family. You could've told me about your family, you know. You could've trusted me."

"I do trust you, Spencer. More than anyone, but this is a lot of baggage."

"We all have baggage when it comes to family, I know I do. But I also know that talking about it helps. You can always talk to me," he sends me a small smile and squeezes my hand. I squeeze back.

"I need you to know that this isn't your fault. We're going to find Willow and everything will turn out fine, I promise," he adds. I just nod, not fully believing his words.

"I love you, you know that, right?" I say, turning to face him. A faint smile plays across his lips. The wind tussles his unruly brown locks and I can't help but smile back, he is the sweetest, cutest human to ever live and I know he deserves the world.

"I know. I love you too," he takes my hand and helps me up, leading me back towards the SUV. Little does he know that my love for him is beyond just friendship, but it's pointless to dwell on something that will never be reciprocated.