30 Days | hunhan { SLOW UPDATE}

Silence

Its day one,

As I entered the dorm, I noticing your shoes by the shoe rack, next to my slippers. Memories began to flood back, back to your birthday where I gave those shoes as my birthday gift to you.

You loved them a lot.

I took off my shoes, and reached for my slippers, but when I was reaching for it, I ended up touching those shoes I gave you. Tears began to form on my eyes, while I try to fight them back. I walked towards the kitchen to grab a glass of milk, hoping that you would walk in. So I would have an excuse to ask how your day was. But, that question might be irrelevant right now.

At the ended up throwing away the remaining milk that was on my glass, washing it off with water. Kyungsoo hyung would have scolded me for wasting milk. I heaved a sigh as I placed the glass on the drying rack at the left side of the sink, before heading towards my room to rest.

You were probably wondering where the others were. Well, Manager hyung might have told you, but the others went for a small vacation for the next two days, since we don't have any schedules until the third day.

I stopped at your door, where you shared a room with Minseok hyung. I was kinda jealous at the start, but I ended up coping with it since I shared a room with Chanyeol hyung. To be honest he was quite annoying sometimes.

I stood by your door, thinking of knocking, asking you to come and watch a movie with me. However, it seems like that my hands ended up not moving at all. I was afraid that you'll push me away like you did last week, where I tried to comfort you - telling you that everything will be alright - the truth is everything WON'T BE ALRIGHT.

I'm a COWARD.

I am.

I clenched my hands into a fist tightly that it reached to the point that I hurt myself - there was nail marks on my palm, and a couple of loose skin.

I didn't cut my nails...You would hate me for that.

I proceeded walking to my room, which was just next door to yours. I lay in my bed thinking about you, and what you're doing.

Hyung, are you thinking about me?

Do you still love me?

I'm sorry.

I walked towards the wall that separated us from seeing each other. I placed my palm on the wall hoping that you would do the same. I kept my mouth shut, listening for any sounds. It could be your voice, your breathing, any sound would do.

I didn't hear you.

There was none.

It was just silence that filled the whole dorm.

It hurts.

I carefully lay on my bed again covering myself with a blanket, without changing into something comfortable. I lay there staring at the white picture frame beside my bed containing a photo of two perfectly happy couple that was once happy and loud. I plugged on earphones listening to our song, silently crying myself to sleep knowing that the deteriorating process had begun; our relationship slowly and painfully weakening before our eyes.

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-SehunSmiles05