Touch Me- Sakusa Kiyoomi

20

"Are you sure you want to go back home?"

Sakusa has asked this question about 15 times already.

"Yes, I have to. I'll still hang out with you if you want me to. However often you want, but there's just something I have to do there." I laugh at his expression. He doesn't look thrilled at all.

"But you mentioned that you were afraid of going back there one night when we were talking. Are you really going to be okay?" His face is full of worry and it makes me feel warm inside.

Last night, after confessing to Sakusa that I felt the most safe with him, he refused to let me go. Even after I told him that I have germs all over me he just held me closer.

"You can hug me like this any time you want, okay? I don't care if you touch me. Keep hugging me like this. I always want you to feel safe."

Hearing him say those words to me...I almost died.

"Mm. I'll be okay." I reassure him. "Actually...can you come over after your practice? I want to ask you something really important, but I need to get all the stuff for it first."

He tilts his head, looking at me in pure confusion.

"Why do you need to buy things to ask me something? Are you going to ask me to prom on a white cardboard poster? You know that only happens in America, right?" He raises an eyebrow and I laugh.

"I'm not asking you to a prom. To be honest...I don't think you'll like it. So I'll pick up some dinner for us to eat when you get there to make up for it." I chuckle because he looks even more confused now.

Last night after we both turned in to bed for the night, I did a lot of thinking.

Since Sakusa is my only friend, and someone I trust, I don't want to lose him. I really hope he agrees to what I ask.

"I'm curious now..." He frowns. "Okay, I'll be there."

I perk up, my eyes brightening as he says this.

"Really? Okay then, I should go hurry and buy everything. I'll see you tonight, okay?" I smile and he nods.

I hesitate for a second, before closing the distance between us and giving him a hug. It's not a goodbye hug as he'd probably interpret it as. It's more of a comfort one.

Although I didn't say, I'm really nervous to go back home. Last time I was there was when I had to take my stuff from K*nji's house and bring it to mine, then also get clothes to bring to Sakusa's home.

Being in both K*nji's house then mine in such a short amount of time was driving me crazy. I wanted to shut down completely. Being in Sakusa's home felt really comforting though, and erased all those feelings as soon as I stepped inside.

But I know I can't stay here forever.

Just by having Sakusa hug me back eases the feeling of anxiety that crept through me.

"See you tonight." He says, allowing me to pull away first.

~

Sakusa Kiyoomi

My mind has been racing all day.

What is she buying?

What does she want to ask me?

Is she really okay in that house?

Why does she think I won't like her question?

Multiple times during practice today, I found myself distracted. It even prompted me to hit a ball way out of bounds which resulted in my team teasing me and chanting: