Beautiful,Beautiful,Beautiful boy

40: Meteor

An:....get the tissues

We laid outside watching the meteor shower above. I imagined every little streak across the sky as a worry falling away. A soft sigh leaving my lips. All but one worry still stayed with me. It laid below the baggie shirts.
I looked over at my husband who held our youngest on his chest while he slept. Tsuki our oldest snuggled up close to Bokuto. He drifting off into sleep as he listened to his dad hum a lullaby.
" Aand. They are out" Bokuto laughed softly stroking the blondes hair. I smiled a little watching his sweet actions. I turned back to the sky a hand on my hidden bump. What would it look like from up there? Smiling down at my family.
" I'm pregnant Bokuto " The words slipping out before I can stop them.
" Huh? You're? Babe it's not April first " He turned to look at me.
" I'm 4 months. "
" You're shitting me"
" I'm not.. There's a baby in my belly.. " I sighed finally looking over at him.
" Why'd you hide it for so long? "
" I found out after we adopted Tsuki, and the doctors gave me a hard pill to swallow.. " He moved sitting up careful of Hinata and Tsuki.
" What was the hard pill to swallow.. " I drew in a sigh. Looking back up to the streaks in the sky.
" I'm high risk... I could loose it.. Or if I carry to term.. You'd have to choose between me and the baby.. "
" I'd choose you Akaashi "
" I don't want you to choose me. Keep the life that did nothing wrong. Keep the innocent one... They still have a whole life ahead. I've lived mine. I've seen the world. Fell in love. Met my grandma. Had kids.. If I died tomorrow I wouldn't worry. I've done what I've need to do on this earth. "
"...help me carry the kids to bed. Then we'll continue this conversation" I nodded as he handed me Hinata so he could grab Tsuki.

After laying them down I found myself outside on the porch taking in the cool breeze.
" Akaashi"
" Bokuto "
" What if I can't choose. What if I say both. Then what? "
" I already told the doctors to save the baby.. Bokuto I've lived my life. This baby hasn't seen the outside world. It hasn't gotten to experience it's life.. Yes I'll hate not seeing our children grow. I'll hate missing birthdays, school dances, marriages, grand kids.. But I'd hate living.. And knowing we could've had another kid, and it was my fault we lost another child-" I froze feeling his eyes stair at me. He didn't know, and now he was about to.
" Another child? " I stayed silent.
" High school.. That party after nationals.. We hooked up. Two weeks later I found I was pregnant. I was a scared second year. No one knew. I planned to run away.... But I lost it at two months. Bokuto I'm not loosing another child. If I know I can keep this one alive. " I fell into his hug crying softly.
" I don't want to go.. But for the sake of our child I'll do anything.. We'll tell the boys I went with grandma. You'll be the parent they'll need you to be Bokuto.. But when the time comes.. Just know I love you.. And I forgive you for all your mistakes. " He didn't respond just held me close like he'd loose me tomorrow. The finale worry falling like a meteor. Now I had nothing to fear. Nothing to worry.
" I love you Akaashi Kyo Kōtōru.. " His voice broken with tears.
" I love you too Bokuto-San"