A Castle Of Crystal

12. Something for yourself

I got home a little later than I'd meant to after that, finding Jude's car in the lot but surprisingly he wasn't in the living room. Upon knocking on his door he came out looking like an actual zombie and before I could catch whatever he had I kicked him back into his room and shooed him away. Alchemilla was off the table tonight for his sake and he spent his two days off puking his guts up in the bathroom before he finally came out Wednesday night looking somewhat back to normal.

"Alright, get your shoes on." He jabbed at me as I relaxed at the kitchen table, halfway through a painting of the strange owl I'd seen in the forest. "I can finally keep my eyes open so I'm going to crack a beer, have a smoke, and wait for your bitch ass to come back with more cool shit."

"You sure dude? I can wait—"

"Kane, when's the last time you actually did something for yourself?"

The whole question struck me as odd and my brows furrowed as I looked at him. He still looked like a zombie but there was a strange gleam in his eyes that didn't fade as he continued.

"I had some weird fuckin' fever dreams and I realized some shit." He cleared his throat for a moment. "I ain't ever seen you so sure about something. I didn't mean to sound uh, rude, but this is the first time I think I've seen you actually sit down, make a plan and do something that no one asked you to do. I know I was real wary about it at first but I think finding this chick is going to be the best thing to ever happen to you. I watched you almost die God knows how many times, you guys practically took me in with open arms in high school, and I may not ever get to pay you back for that but I'm sure as hell going to try and that starts with this."

"This is...strangely sentimental, are you sure the fever didn't fry some brain cells?" I joked lightheartedly but I sat there for a moment and actually thought about his question. When was the last time I actually went out of my way to do something to make myself happy? It struck me harder than I'd like to admit that it had been longer than I'm sure either of us actually thought.

"Go find N, Kane. I'm tired of seeing you bend over backward for everyone else."

While still mulling over the sudden change of heart I nodded, getting up and grabbing Scylla before I walked back to my room. My canvases were scattered again and I sighed as I moved one aside to grab my shoes, lacing them up and pulling my jacket over my shoulders before I tested the radio. He gave me the go ahead and I took a deep breath, reaching to pull the merkaba out of my shirt before I cracked a smile.

"Ready to go Scylla?"

"Adventure!"

I chuckled, closing my eyes and recalling the warm breeze brushing against my skin while the sounds of the rain eventually faded from the peripheries of my senses. When I opened my eyes I was right where I landed before, sitting on the onyx slab and greeted by fireflies as the sky remained dark. One landed on my hand and I smiled in awe as the color changed from orange to pink, hanging on for just a moment before buzzing off again.

"Come in, made it over," I said into the radio, "still dark out but the sun's rising. Heading south today."

"Got it man, keep your eyes peeled."

With that I was off, trekking through the south section of the woods while the world eventually became painted with light. I took pictures as I went again, finding patches of flowers and bushes with berries I didn't dare touch. Something akin to a blue jay flew overhead but it was bigger, with two feathery circles tufted over its eyes that made me laugh as it landed to perch on a branch. One more for the collection, I thought to myself as I stepped foot into a clearing. There was a big flowery thing on the other side that I realized wasn't a flower but some type of mushroom, the scent of rot reaching my nose before I gagged and tucked it into my elbow. I hope I didn't just walk into something poisonous. Before I could check with Scylla she suddenly piped up and her words made my blood run cold.