A Castle Of Crystal

21. Faith

The moment Kane and Jude left I let out a deep breath I'd been holding for ages to which Jules immediately arched her eyebrow in curiosity. I just shook my head and motioned to my neck before she disappeared from sight, leaving me to lock up my home before I joined her back in Terra and buried my burning face in my hands.

"Okay, what happened?"

"Um...Kane may or may not have asked me out on a date..." I started, "and I may or may not have...agreed..."

Her arched eyebrow stayed put until she let out a deep, heartfelt laugh; I eased when I realized she wasn't mad at me and the smile on her face brought tears to her eyes before she pulled me into a hug.

"Oh my God you are so cute when you're embarrassed," she giggled, "Nova I heard you and Scylla talking. The fact Kane blew me off Friday night over what happened told me all I needed to know."

My face flushed even darker and she hugged me tighter, letting me talk and talk until I couldn't think of anything else to say. I'd never imagined he'd actually be interested in me but I suddenly heard his voice ring in my head; how do you think I felt when I found out I told someone I loved that I didn't remember them? He'd had the same feelings all this time and I finally fully realized why he'd been so determined to chase me down. It wasn't just Scylla. She'd tried to tell me but I was too thick in the head to believe it.

"I didn't mean for all this to happen so fast," I groaned, "I mean, I never imagined he'd actually ask me on a date. Juliet I've never been on a date, what the hell do I do?!"

"Well if he's taking you downtown definitely dress warm because the piers are freezing." She shivered as she thought about it, her gauzy green dress draped around her legs as she hiked them up over the back of the couch. "If he offers to buy you something let him, if you think you'll end up having sex just remember to shave—"

"Oh my God Jules no."

She cackled like the witch she was and I smacked her with a pillow, my whole body tingling with embarrassment as she hugged the item to her chest. "Hey it's New Years Eve, you never know! Might get a little too drunk, do something you'll regret in the morning, make some good memories."

"I have never slept with anyone and I certainly will not be doing it on a first date," I paused, a more uncomfortable thought crossing my mind while I picked at my nails, "because what if he decides he doesn't actually care for me like he thought...? I did...go off on him after all..."

"Nova, that's the anxiety talking. I know you're scared to open up to people but this is Kane for Christ's sake. He almost got caught by the Royal Guard just trying to get Scylla home so you could be happy."

"I-I know that, I just—" I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath as I forced the sound of the pouring rain from my mind, "he already broke my heart once, I guess I'm just terrified he'll do it again. I thought...I genuinely thought he liked you and that I wouldn't ever have to worry about it but..."

"I think you've had his heart for a long time."

Her voice was gentle, pulling me from my woes while she adjusted and sat up again. There were memories in her eyes and a nostalgic smile on her face.

"He's had a few girlfriends, they were all really nice girls who would've made him happy but something just never clicked. I'm sure he thought it was because of his trauma or something he couldn't control but he'd always detach himself the moment they started getting close and he just could never seem to figure it out. Looking back on it now, I think it was you. He's tired of being wanted for what he can do instead of who he is. Wants to feel wanted for once."