forever my baby

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐱

i was wrong, i couldn't take it.

he broke up with me?

it's not making sense to me. i shake my head, i can't accept that.

"was it something i did? i-i had to have done something." i listen closely. i can't handle not having mason in my life. "it was a lack of communication. it wasn't your fault... it was but... i don't blame you." he looks like he's confused himself. "a lack of communication? what does that mean? it's not making sense."

looking back hurts. i don't know what i did to hurt him. "you were going through something. you wouldn't talk about it to me at all. you let yourself suffer in silence while i was here to help you. i was there for you. i felt like you didn't trust me, which was a slap to the face considering i've been here for you since the beginning."

it takes a while to process this new information. "but you're not here anymore?" i ask feeling like sobbing. he scoots closer to me and holds my hand. i watch our hands intertwine and i hold onto that feeling i have. i don't want to let him go. i don't want this to end.

"i'll always be here for you. i just can't be here for you in that way anymore." he holds the side of my face making my jaw tremble. i didn't want to cry. i was trying to keep it in. "this is so fucked up," mason kisses my forehead. his lips linger on my skin for a moment. "i don't want to break up with you twice."

i hold his wrist as he caresses my face. i let a few tears drop. "i don't understand. you're the only person i truly trust. i can tell you anything. it doesn't make sense. why didn't i just talk to you?" this hurts. physically. i wanted to be wrapped in his arms. i wanted to be by his side and i know that when he leaves i'll never get to feel that again.

i burst into tears. he holds me just like i wanted him to. "i'm so sorry." his voice cracks. i wrap my arms around him and hold desperately knowing this was my last time i'd be able to do this. the pain was too much. i'm losing my best friend. my lover.

i had to stop crying to get more information. i need to know more. "how did i react to this?" i ask pulling away. he sighs. this was so hard for the both of us. "it's better you don't know. trust me."

i nod holding his hand again. it's all i have.

i wonder what reaction i had. it has to be somewhat like this. my heart is hurting. i know i didn't take it well the first time because i'm not taking it well now.

i sniffle trying to calm down. everytime i think of being away from him, i start all over. "you're my home mason. i need you." i pull myself closer to him. i put my hand on the back of his neck. pulling us closer. he looks down at me, tears in eyes. our noses touch.

i stare at his lips. i won't be able to kiss him anymore. to feel that connection on a deeper lever. when we kissed it was something different, something indescribable. i look at him before leaning in to kiss him. he pulls away slowly. "please." i try again and fail. "bri i can't. it's not right, you're with..." he pulls me away more this time. i cry more. i just needed to feel that again. this was fucking with my mind.

i cover my face and cry. i will always end up feeling this way. what is wrong with me? the worst part is that i don't remember being this way to him. i always fuck everything up for myself and i didn't even know why.

"please don't cry. it hurts to see you cry." he takes my hands away from my face and wipes my tears with his sleeves. the door opens catching our attention. it's parker, maddy and my dad. i look back at mason. "stay with me please." i beg him. i hold onto him not wanting to be separated. "i can't." he makes me cry again. i just want to kiss him. just once more.