forever my baby

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐱

"hi mason!" i yell at my ipad. "hey maddy, man you just keep getting prettier just like your mom. how are you? how do you like your necklace?" he waves from the screen. he's at the beach laying in a chair. i can hear the waves. the sky is a little dark but not as dark as it is here. "thanks. i love it so much i don't even want to wear it. i only wear it on the weekends. i miss you." i say and jump on my bed.

"i'll get you a nice bracelet or anklet that you can wear all the time and don't have to worry about messing it up." he smiles. "cool." i say happy. "so talk to me, how's it going?" he asks. i look around my room and listen out for my parents. i can barely hear their voices coming down from downstairs.

"it sucks and it's good at the same time." i admit. his face changes. "what sucks?" he sounds worried. "i started my new school yesterday. it was scary but it actually ended up going well. it's just an adjustment."

"school is scary. i'm proud of you though. thirteen is a scary age. are there any mean kids?" i think. "not really. it's not like that. maybe next year when i go to high school."

"high school is even scarier." mason says honestly. "thanks for the encouragement." i'm sarcastic. "yeah anytime. anything else that sucks?"

this is why i love mason. he genuinely cares.

"other than my parents being weirdos?" i move to a different position on my bed and fix the ipad. "oh no, want to talk about it?" he looks closer into the camera. "nope."

"it gets better." he says. sure. "anyways, i guess the good is that i had my first kiss today. is that tmi?" i bite my nail. "your first kiss? wow i didn't know i was talking to a whole woman now?" he says stupidly making me laugh.

"you're so annoying." i laugh again. "how do you feel now that you're all grown up?" mason still plays along. "weird. jacob's my best friend but i guess he's cute. he told me he likes me." i think about our kiss.

"jacob? i think i remember him. he should like you, you're a smart and beautiful young woman." i roll my eyes to that.

"i don't know about that. i'm not even thinking about boys like that. they make me nervous."

"when i was your age..." he starts and i roll my eyes again. "you sound like my mom." i try not to laugh. we both end up laughing and i hear my moms voice loud next to my door. "wait shush." i lower the volume on my ipad and quickly hide it under my pillow.

i act like i'm laying down and my door opens. "who are you talking to? it's time for bed." my mom comes in. "nobody. i was laughing at something in my head." i lie for probably one of the first times ever. "okay... go to sleep. you have to get up early." she says and leaves.

she's still mad at me. usually she blows me a kiss before leaving. i wait a few more seconds until i hear a door close before grabbing my ipad.

"okay hi." i laugh and he shakes his head. "why are you hiding me from your mom?" he also laughs. "because she'll take my ipad if i'm on it too late."

"moms. i guess it is late over there. i'll call you tomorrow okay?" i get sad. i like talking to mason. "okay. come visit me really soon?" i ask. "really soon. goodnight maddy."

"goodnight mason."

☀︎☀︎☀︎

breakfast was quiet. it made me feel guilty for yelling at my parents. i sat in the silence until i heard lauryn's car horn. i take my last bite and take my plates to the sink. "bye." i say and hurry to leave.

"good morning sunshine." lauryn says with a smile. every morning i see her she greets me the same. i love her, she's like a second mom. "good morning." i say getting in the backseat. it was ellas turn to sit in the front.

"good morning." jacob smiles as i sit next to him. "hi."

i thought things would be weird and awkward between us after we kissed but it's like nothing even happened. well nothing new, he still stares at me like usual.

i like it that way.

school wasn't like how i picture. it was kind of boring. people were actually talking to me. i've already met a few people in my classes. i was thankful to have at least one class with my best friends though.

i somehow forgot where i go after lunch and i forgot my map at home. i try to retrace yesterday's steps. my friends already left so i couldn't ask them and i'm definitely not asking someone to help me find my class. that's so embarrassing. my anxiety starts to act up. i'm slowly getting more overwhelmed by the second.

"lost?" a voice catches my attention. when i look at the person, i blink twice. please brain no! no more boys! no more boys!

"is it that obvious?" i say feeling very much embarrassed. "not too obvious." he walks up to me. i look around seeing all the other kids walking to their next class. he's taller than me which is interesting because i'm taller than most of the guys here.

"who's your teacher?" he asks but i'm a little too preoccupied checking him out. he reminds me of my dad in high school. he just looks super cool and popular. like he shouldn't be talking to me.

"um... kinney." i try not to stare at him too much. "cool, i have her right now, i can walk you there." he offers.

"thanks." i say and we start walking. i feel like i can relax now. we have very different styles. i'm dressed more like a hippie and he's dressed like my moms definition of a heartbreaker. "my name is oliver but you can call me olly." he says looking at me.

"hi olly, i'm madeline but you can call me maddy." i wave trying to act as normal as i could. "are you new? i've never seen you here before." oliver asks carefully. he's trying not to offend me. "i am. i was homeschooled... not anymore." i laugh just in case he laughed too but he didn't which made me look weird.

"lucky, that sounds cool." we reach the class and i follow him inside. "it was pretty boring. no other human interaction and being in your house all day can make you a little crazy."

"guess i never thought of it that way." he smiles and i look around the room trying to remember where i sat yesterday. someone was in my seat...

so embarrassing. that's my seat! now i have to look around the class and find another seat like a loser.

"you can sit next to me if you want. i can tell you the school's secrets and who the best teachers are." he offers. i thank him and sit in the empty seat next to him.

not so bad for a girl with bad anxiety... see i'm making friends.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

"hey dad." i say getting into the car. "hey, how was school?" he asks then pulls out of the parking lot. "it was okay. i met this dude that looks like how you did in high school. he had the cool, popular dude look." i say the last part in a song like way. he frowns then smiles. "what shoes was he wearing? was his hair slicked back? how was he holding his backpack?"

his random questions throw me off. "he had on black high top converse... uh his hair kind of looks like masons, but brown and fluffy. oh! and he only used one strap and it just chilled on his shoulder." i describe oliver.

"stay away from him." he says. predictable. "you say that about every boy i come in contact with." i shake my head. "because every boy sucks." he looks at me then back at the road. "but you're a boy." i raise my brows at him to make a point. "yeah and i suck."

we both laugh. one of my favorite songs come on the radio and i raise the volume a little. "do you think he's cute?"

i cringe. "dad i'm not talking about this with you." i look out the window trying to contain my face. "why not? we can do face masks and get our nails done together and talk about boys too." he pinches my nose like he always does and i slap his hand. "no!"

"would you tell your mother?" he goes back to being serious. "maybe if she wasn't still mad at me." i say and he quickly corrects me. "you mom isn't mad at you, if anything she's mad at herself."

"why is she mad at herself then?" i watch my dad pull up to our favorite pizza place. i get excited! "because everything you said was right." he turns off his car and gets out. i get out as well. "duh everything i said was right, that's why i said it." i make him laugh.

"you are exactly like her too." he pulls me into a hug and we walk inside.