forever my baby

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

i woke up in the same room. i was expecting somewhere else. i wasn't angry anymore. i was in a lot of pain though. i didn't press the button they had attached to me, i deserved to sit there in pain.

i can't believe this is my life. this is comical.

if i laughed hard enough it would eventually lead to crying. i'm tired of pretending to be tough. i wasn't at all. life is kicking my ass and i still wish i was dead.

the bathroom door opened and liam walked out. he immediately looked at me and paused when he saw i was awake. "hey." i wave with my non-broken hand. "is it safe?" his eyes wide. i smile in my head. he brings a chair next to the bed and sits.

"you scared me bri. when they told me you died i-i don't know. life would never be the same without you. i'm glad you're here."

so i really did die? like seriously. that's crazy.

"i thought i annoyed you." i reached for the water on the bedside table. he helps me grab it. "trust me, you do," he holds my hand. "but i love you, we all do." i hold his hand back for a second.

i drink the water then put it down in the bed. i meet his eyes again. oh no, i know what that look was.

"i'm fine okay. i was just angry earlier." i tell him before he gets a chance to ask. "no you're not." he looks a bit concerned. "no really i am." i pick my cast arm up and put a thumbs up hoping he got my humor.

"you're the most confusing person i've ever met." he shakes his head. "thanks." i say with a straight face. i wasn't sure where this conversation was going. "i'm worried for you." he says also with a straight face. "why? it's not like i can get up and do anything." i'm halfway joking. "bri you're on suicide watch right now."

i'm on what now? i laugh but he's serious. "suicide watch? seriously? i can't even move half of my body, let alone try to kill myself," i get annoyed but it fades quickly. i mean i kind of did yell that i wanted to die a few times. "and if i'm on suicide watch then why is no one watching."

"well you've been sleep for a while now." he moves his hand. i was forced to sleep actually. shadows appear by the window and i turn to look. i wondered what i looked like.

probably horrible.

"how are you feeling right now?" he says making me frown. "don't!" i warn him. the angry feeling starts to return. "bri you're not doing well. i need to do my job." i'm actually taken back from what he said. i'm not doing well.

"do not fucking therapize me right now liam, i swear to god. if you try to make me look crazy i'll never forgive you." i don't break eye contact. "you screamed that you wanted to die! that's not normal brianna." he used my full name.

"i'm not the first person in the world that wants to die." i argue back not knowing if i was making my situation worse or not. he was silent. i look away, feeling so misunderstood. i felt trapped. literally. i couldn't even move really. it was so frustrating.

"where's my ring?" i notice my ring is missing from my finger. "what ring?" liam looked at my hand. "the ring mason gave me. my ring." i frown. liam quietly gasps and his eyes widen. "what? do you have it?" i open my hand so he could give it to me. "i'll be right back." liam rushes to the door and leaves. okay...

i look around the room then back myself. of course i had to get in a car crash, die, then come back to life. it just had to be me. my life is literally a movie.

liam returns but with a doctor and not my ring. "hello brianna, how are you feeling?" the doctor asks. "the pain is starting to consume me." i complain. "don't worry, we'll give you another dose of morphine. anything else to report?" he asks. i look at liam who's staring at me closely. "i mean i just died i don't know? how am i supposed to feel?"

i'm completely aware of the situation and what's going on. "where's maddy? i want to see her. is she okay? is mason okay?" i ask. i had to have been the only one to get hurt. "they're fine, outside in the waiting room. i'll be back." they both leave again but quickly return.

parker comes in with maddy on his side. i notice her hair is shorter. i frown looking at parker.

everyone else starts to come in with the doctor. they look at me like i'm an art piece at a museum. their expressions are confusing. parker puts maddy down and she walks up to my bed. "hi baby!" i caress her face. man she's growing.

"come here," i hold her hand and she climbs onto the bed. "you're getting bigger bug. did you cut your hair?" i laugh getting comfortable as she sits on my good leg. i feel something off when i look at her face. she looks older.

"i need you to do something for me bri." the doctor comes into view. "what?" i look at him. "i want you to name everyone in the room." he says simply.

i laugh a little before pointing at everyone and naming them. is this surviving death treatment or something? he nods. "good. can you tell me the date please?"

i try to remember but something is off. i can't remember what i was doing during or before the crash. "it's may," my answer seems to shock everyone in the room. "my birthday wasn't too long ago." i add seeming to make things worse.

i decide to stop talking. i was getting freaked out by the stares. "do you know who you're with?" parkers voice gets my attention. he starts to walk towards me. "mason," i point at him. "i can't find my ring though."

a tear falls from parkers face. i cringe. "she forgot. she thinks..." parker looks at the doctor. i wait for him to finish. "i think what?"

his attention is back on me. he holds my hand. "you're with me." his face scared me. i move my hand away from his. "no i'm not. i'm with mason. why would i be with you?" i say clearly hurting his feelings. "i told you to get over it. you're not good for me, you're not for me."

he steps back and looks at the doctor. everyone copies. "look at your hair!" he yells.

i touch my hair trying to feel the hairstyle. it's in a bun. i take the ponytail holder off and it drops down brown and curly. my own eyes widen. "what do i look like?" i ask looking around. no one does anything for a few seconds. lauryn slowly walks towards me with her phone in hand. she faces her phone at me and i see my face on camera.

my hair is brown and short, not red. there's stitches above that little space between my eyebrows. i look different. i look weird.

there's a few cuts around my face. i had little remains of makeup on but i looked sleep deprived. i looked rough. this was me but it wasn't.

when i notice the change, lauryn goes back to her spot. "bri, it's the september the eighth."