forever my baby

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"do you know who mason is?" i ask brushing maddys hair. "mason is my best friend." she makes me smile. "yes he is... do you know who parker is?" i put the brush down. she turns and looks up at me. "that's daddy." she giggles and i nod. i don't think she knows how to say his name.

"say parker." i say his name slowly and she copies. "it's like the park." i put her hair into little pigtails. "parker!" she yells over and over. "you called?" he stands in the doorway. i help her get down. she runs up to him like always and i sit there looking at them both.

"let's go play with your dolls." parker waves at me and they both go to her room. i look around my room until mason comes in. "wanna go for a drive?" he asks and i get excited. "of course."

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"i miss you." he kisses my forehead as i lay on him. "what do you mean? i'm right here." i look up at him. "yeah but you're not here." i sit up. i get what he's saying. "shit sorry, there's just a lot on my mind and there's been so much going on. i know things have been chaotic lately and we haven't talked as much."

"i wasn't asking for an apology, just tell me what's going on. talk to me." mason sits up and now we're just sitting in the back of his truck. i sigh. "i don't know what you want me to say." i look at him. "you can start with what's on your mind." he looks at the sky.

he wouldn't understand what's on my mind, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't like it either. i couldn't tell him. shit, i didn't even know what was going on in my own mind.

"you're on my mind." i leaned in towards him and kissed him softly. almost immediately, he wrapped his hands around me pulling me closer.

mason and i kiss all the time but right now was so different in a way i didn't understand. why were things so weird? maybe it's all in my head. maybe i'm the one being weird.

"see. you're not here." he pushes me away. "i am here mason, don't say that." he stands up and jumps out of the truck. "no you're not!" he shouts. i get up and also hop out.

his hands are in his hair.

is he mad at me?

"i'm sorry i didn't mean to yell. you're just being different and y-you won't even let me help you. i'm here for you and you know i am so why won't you let me help." mason paces around and i stand there not knowing what to do.

i feel myself about to get emotional. "i'm sorry." i realize the situation i'm in. i caused it. it's all my fault.

"it's as if you don't trust me bri. have i given you any reason not to trust me? you've been distant and i don't know if parker coming back into your life has anything to do with it but something's off."

i look at him when parkers name is mentioned. "it's not parker i-i just..." i panic looking for an answer. but i just stand there silently, struggling to find the words. "whatever let's just go." he gets into the car. his tone of voice makes me feel horrible.

i hesitate before getting in the car. i can't stand knowing that i made mason upset. he starts to drive and i'm silent because i know that anything i say won't answer his question.

no one talks on the drive to my dads house. i feel like shit, i need to talk to liam. "come on let's go inside." mason says parking in the driveway. "you can go, i have to do something." i get out and look for my car. "baby just come inside." the car door shuts and i shake my head. "no it's fine, i'll be back in a sec." i grab my keys from my back pocket and rush to my car.

i feel my chin start to tremble as i get into my car. i start it immediately and just drive.

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