forever my baby

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

i scream and hug them both immediately. "what the hell! why didn't you guys tell me you were back?" i feel like crying. "it was a surprise duh." riley says. i let go and i actually start tearing up. "i've missed you guys so much!" i hold my arms out wanting another hug. they put the bags down and hug me even tighter. "we've missed you too." i accidentally cry out loud.

"oh god please don't cry, i'll cry then riley will cry." nat rubs my back. "i'm trying not to!" i wipe my face when we let go. "stop crying!" i yell at nat. "it's your fault!" she yells back and we both laugh. riley screams making us jump. "your hair! oh my god i love it!" she covers her mouth with her hands. "yeah i did something!" i pose then we start laughing.

"yup the girls are back." noah says from the living room. "oh my god the baby! she's so adorable!" natalie squeals then runs over to them. "no she's mine." noah runs upstairs holding maddy with riley and nat following.

i get all happy inside. "surprise!" my dad says next to my mom. "did you guys plan this?" i walk over to them. "eh." my mom says nonchalantly. i hug them both. "thank you i love you guys." i kiss them both on the cheek. "of course. oh! don't think you're off the hook marie, we are going to talk later." my mom scolds me. no matter how old i get she'll always lecture at me.

"ok mom." i say before running upstairs to join everyone else. i hear them in maddys room and when i walk in i couldn't help but take a picture. the sound of my phone clicking gets their attention and i quickly put my phone away. "so, tell me how was it?" i ask sitting next to everyone.

"it's so beautiful, here i'll show you." riley starts to show me pictures of them in spain. "these are cute, send me the ones of you and nat."

they both look so happy. i'm so happy for them. "i will, don't worry we will definitely plan another trip!" she tries to make me feel better.

"so what did we miss?" nat asks.

everything.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

after two hours of catching up i found myself in maddys bed with her wrapped in my arms watching brave. "you're going to be three in a little bit are you excited?" i ask softly as i run my hands through her hair. "three?" she says in her sweet little voice. "yes. then you'll be four, then five, then six, then seven and you won't be mommy's little girl anymore." i get sad at the idea. i bet my mom felt like this.

man i really do need to talk to my mother.

"yes i will mommy." she says. "you promise?" i hold my pinky out. "i promise." she turns her head and looks at my finger not knowing what to do. i lock my pinky with hers. "this is a pinky promise, you take your pinky and tie it with someones pinky." i explain. she tightens her grip and i laugh.

"you need to sleep bug." i kiss her forehead and hold her close.

this is really my life. i have my little lovebug. my life is almost perfect, i couldn't ask for more.

i start to think of her growing up and the stuff i'd experience. she'll get taller and smarter, her hair will get longer and her teeth will start falling out and i'd tell her about the tooth fairy. i'd have the puberty and sex talk.

i'd teach her to be the kindest person, someone that does what she think is right, and someone who is loving and nonjudgmental. she'd be the person i wish i was.

i close my eyes and smile. i can't wait for our future.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

i wake up the next morning with her not in my arms. i get up and stretch. i reach for my phone on the dresser and see that i have 3 group facetime calls from 'the girlz.'

i call them back and hold my camera to the ceiling because i looked like shit. "finally you answer." lauryn says. "sorry i was... doing something." i lie. "you were sleep, we all know this." connie says and i just sigh. "yeah i was sleep." i show my face and they gasp.

"sheesh, get ready and meet us for brunch. hurry, we're leaving in thirty! muah love you!" lauryn blows a kiss in the camera before she leaves the facetime. "i'll text you the restaurant. oh and please brush your hair." connie also leaves. "and put on some chapstick!" sam adds.

they all hang up and i stand up getting ready to walk to the bathroom but they call back.

i answer and they're all back. "wait your hair!" sam yells. "did you impulsively dye your hair? and cut it?" lauryn gasps. "no? liam said i should. so i did." i show off my bed head in the camera. "look at you! following orders from daddy lia-"

i hang up before she could even finish. jesus. i start to get ready for the day.

when i pull up to the restaurant i see them all standing by the door. "hey sexy mama." sam yells and i just laugh. "hey other sexy mamas." i yell back and hug them all. "i am loving this new look." connie spins me around and i just stand there.

after they admire my hair, we go inside, get seated and start talking. "so we saw the instagram pics, the girls are back! are you excited?" sam asks as we sit in our booths. "yeah they surprised me yesterday, i missed them so much."

"that was sweet of them, how was spain?" lauryn asks. i wish i actually knew. "from the pictures and what they said, it sounded so perfect and beautiful." i take my phone out of my pocket and show them the pictures riley sent me. they awe. "yeah, i'm happy for them." i take my phone back. "well madeline is almost three, you can travel now!" connie says enthusiastically. "yeah you can go to spain with your baby!" sam adds.

"mason wants to but i can't." i say remembering our conversation. "and why not?" lauryn frowns at me. "because i have school and my internship." i look at them all. "those sound like excuses to me." sam sips her water the waitress brought. i scoff. "they're not excuses!" i defend myself. "yes they are. you go to school online, just take your laptop with you, i'm sure they have wifi wherever you are." i bite the inside of my cheek. oh man they're about to prove me wrong.

"and with your internship, it's not forever. when it's over, you can go." i sit back. they're not lying. i sit back trying to find another reason. "what about therapy? i can't go to therapy in a different country." i say knowing i just set myself up. "another excuse, you can talk to liam over the phone." sam makes a face at me. "or you can bring him with you." lauryn winks at me. i roll my eyes.

am i really making excuses? i can actually drop everything and travel. so why was i actually making excuses?

"okay fine, i hate you guys."