Imprisoned

CH.4-Nightmares-

It must have been two in the morning when I woke up to the sound of sharp inhales and thrashing movements next to me in bed.

I sit up alarmed, then look next to me to see Loki. His face tense, body thrashing beneath the covers, and subtle noises escaping his mouth. He was having a nightmare.

I quickly place both my hands on Loki's shoulders, shaking him awake.

"Loki, Loki," I whisper, trying not to scare him. Loki's eyes shoot open and he sits up in a pant.

"Hey, hey, it's ok, it's just me," I whisper, trying to calm him down. He lets out a heavy exhale at the realization he was dreaming, leaning back onto the headboard.

I scooch closer to him, placing my hand on the back of his shoulder. He flinches at my touch. I pull my hand away and look down.

"Sorry," he says, his breathing slowing. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, still looking down. I timidly look up and meet his eyes.

"Are um...are you ok?" I ask. Loki clears his throat.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He mumbles, breaking eye contact with me. I sigh.

"Loki, I know you're not fine. You can tell me."

"No, I can't! And I won't! Ok?! So stop asking me!" I jump at Loki's sudden change in tone. His eyes filled with rage, and fear, causing me to quickly get out of bed.

I walk over to the couch and lay down, ignoring Loki's gaze. I hear him sigh from the bed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, you were just trying to help. Just come back to bed." I hear Loki say. I turn on my side to face him. Did the god of mischief just apologize?

I take a deep breath and consciously get off the couch and make my way back to the bed.

I slump into the covers next to Loki and lay on my back, waiting for him to say something.

-Loki-

Why did I apologize to her? I don't apologize. Either way, it convinced her to come back to bed. I don't know why I care if she sleeps on the sofa, it doesn't affect me.

We lay in silence for a minute or so before I turn to face her. She is still looking at the ceiling. I still can't comprehend why she would care if I was having nightmares, or maybe that's just because I haven't experienced decency before. Whatever it is, I didn't know how to react to it. So I just look at her as she lays next to me.

I don't know what about her was so fascinating to me. Could be her dark, curly hair that accentuates all her features perfectly. Or her eyes, a dark but vibrant blue. As I examine her I realize that she just woke up, and somehow her beauty has not faltered.

What am I thinking?! Dammit Loki, you are a GOD. You don't have time to care about weak mortals, such feeble creatures.

I roll my eyes at myself and turn my attention back to the ceiling.

As I do so I feel Sarah turn to face me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks me in a small voice. I inhale in frustration. Why can't she take the hint? I don't want to talk about it. Even if I told her, she would detest me, think of me as a monster. She would be right, I am a monster.

"No." I sigh. I feel her turn away from me. It's better this way.

-Sarah-

I don't mention the nightmares for a few days. I figured it was best to leave Loki alone. However, I wish he would just tell me.

I wake up in the middle of the night again to the familiar tossing and turning. I look over to see Loki, in yet another nightmare. How often does this happen?

I gently shake him awake. His eyes, first filled with fear, change to relief once he realizes he was dreaming once again. I sigh, concerned.

"Loki, just fucking tell me," I beg, frustrated.

"Please," I say, my voice softening. I scooch closer to Loki, with my back against the headboard with Loki's, and hold onto his bicep to comfort him. He doesn't flinch this time, instead, he sighs in defeat.

"How long have you had nightmares like this?" I ask, trying to start the conversation.

"As long as I can remember. But they only recently got worse." Loki answers. I look at his face. I see distraught and even a hint of hatred cloud his eyes. Loki looks over at me.

"I-I'm sorry. Why has it only recently gotten worse?" I ask, careful not to push him too far. He sighs and shakes his head.

"Loki...please." I plea, gently.

"No Sarah. I can't tell you." Loki responds, sharply. I swear I can see a hint of sadness before his face goes back to its strict composure. I look back at him, sad he doesn't feel like he can share things with me. We will be stuck here till I die so he better start trusting me.

"Ok...just know you can tell me," I say as I remove my arms from around his arm, hugging him around his abdomen. I lean my head on his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him. As I do so I feel the cold of his body against mine, not freezing cold, but a comfortable cold. 

I don't know why I care so much, but there is just something about the sadness he carries that makes me want to be there for him. It's like he has never experienced compassion before. Like he has only ever known pain and resentment, that he can't understand anything else. I don't pity him. I just...I don't know, it makes me want to be there for him.

*****

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