What If?

nineteen

Sky walked over to Rodney and sat down beside him on the porch bench.

"Sky I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, and I've been wanting to apologize to you in person. But it's not like you've been taking my calls" Rodney points out

"Yeah, I don't receive calls or messages from people I've blocked," Sky said snidely.

"Now that I'm here in front of you, I don't know where to start" Rodney started and Sky looked completely disinterested in the conversation.

"I want to start by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of my actions. I'm sorry for all the lying and manipulation I did while we were together. I let my insecurities dictate how I acted. I was willing to go as far as to mess up my hand, just so you wouldn't be with Junior. I take full responsibility for my actions, but-" Sky cut Rodney off. "Why is there a but in your apology?" Sky said sassily.

"I just want you to know I wasn't in the right state of mind when I did everything I did" Rodney admits

"I'll say," Sky huffed

"I've been seeing a court-ordered psychologist, and she diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder" Sky's face softened. "I know it doesn't excuse my behaviors, but the way I was acting, was not me. I need you to know how sorry I am" Rodney apologizes

"Really? I'm supposed to believe that you didn't know you've had this disorder for the 22 years you've been on this earth?" Sky questioned

"I know that you don't trust me, and it's going to take some time to earn it back. But you must know that I didn't even know I was living with it. Even though I have a very mild version of it, I have it" Rodney explains

"If you're faking this, you would disgust me. Because you can't get any lower than pretending to have a mental disorder" Sky said

"I promise you I'm not lying about it" Rodney reassures Sky.

"Then I'm sorry to hear that, it must've been tough when you found out," Sky said empathically, but still hesitant

"It was devastating, but it also helped me understand why I thought the way I thought, leading to me doing the things I did" Rodney said, and Sky listened. "For the first time in my life, my mind feels clear" Sky was apprehensive, because she has been fooled by Rodney before, and she can't tell when he's lying.

"I'm happy for you," Sky said

"Thank you" Rodney smiled. They both sat there with no one saying anything. But the silence wasn't awkward. Sky was honestly just taking in everything she was told.

"I know I'm here just to apologize. But I just have a question to ask you" Rodney said.

"Here we go," Sky thought to herself. "Go ahead," Sky said

"Did you ever have feelings for me?" Rodney asked, Sky was surprised by the question and paused to answer it. "I guess that answers my question" Rodney laughed awkwardly.

"It's not that I didn't care for you. You came into my life when I was still in denial about my pregnancy, and I honestly appreciated your support. But I had mistaken my deep care for you as real feelings" Sky admitted, and Rodney nodded his head. "And if I'm being honest, I wasn't 100% forward about my relationship with Junior, and for that, I'm sorry" Sky apologized

"What weren't you forward about?" Rodney asked

"I think you know now that Junior and I weren't just friends when we first got pregnant. We were friends with benefits, and in complete denial about our feelings for each other. I wanted to be honest with you, but I wasn't even being honest with myself" Sky admits.