Under The Moonlight

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[A\N]: Sorry, Don't mind the title. O:)

After wasting a whole day sleeping on the couch and bawling my eyes over why the hell I had to change schools. The previous one wasn't that bad. Yes, the folks were stupid but at least I knew them.

It was 5 in the evening when my stomach growled with hunger. I lazily left the cosy wrap and the couch. Opening the fridge and looking in all the cabinets, found no food or snacks. Just a few cans of beer, soda and cold drinks.

"No parents at home. No food to eat. Life why you fucking with me", I whined.
"Great, now I have to go grocery shopping", I muttered while yawning and moving upstairs to change into decent clothing.

I washed up hurriedly and ignored the little moon-like tattoos. Walked into the wardrobe and slipped into the pink floral long-sleeved buttoned shirt and white pants. Loosely tied a white silk scarf with pink flowers at the borders around my neck, of course, to hide my bruises.

Applied a light pink lip balm on the lips. Unrolled the loose bun and let the hair flow down on my shoulders and back. The only thing I loved in my looks were the long, thick, wavy brown hair.

I twirled around and watched myself in the mirror, "Ok. I look pretty and every bruise is hidden", I said happily.

Picked the white and pink wedges from the shoe rack and slipped my feet into it. Grabbed the wallet from the side table of the bed and shoved in the credit cards, my phone and keys.

Sun was setting and the sky was coloured in lots of colours. I was glad I came out of my burrow. Not being in the mood to drive, I decided to walk. I crossed the local community park, little kids were playing and elders were jogging. Girls were on the swings and young boys were biking. Their happy faces and childish pure smiles made my heart swell. A small smile lingered on my lips as I passed the pet shop and saw two kitties fighting.

In a pleasant mood, I decided to eat out. I entered a small diner. Ordered meatball spaghetti with bbq sauce, fries, salad and a peach malt. The server eyed me suspiciously, I'm sure he muttered something that I ignored by plugging in the headphones and played the song, 'Liar'.

I vibed with it as the song shared a perfect theme of this mother-daughter relationship:
It was a perfect storm.
You told such lovely tales about the future.
Your voice was soft and warm.
You caught me so young and insecure.
....
If only I knew you didn't mean it.
A serial schemer, a dreamer believed in.
If only I knew you were a liar...

Fingers strummed against the wooden table. Thoughts were flowing with the melody. I hummed with the singer and opened my closed eyes. Two tables far from mine, a girl about 7 years old, dressed in a white frock and glittery cap, was excitedly clapping her hands. Ear to ear her smile spread, her parents and siblings sang a happy birthday song.
She blew the candles and I instinctively checked my phone. No message. No call. Nothing. And the date shone of 12th October.

12th October. They forgot just like every other year. Even I forgot about it. My stomach churned at the sight of her cutting the cake, her mother kissing her cheeks, her brother pulling her pigtails and she responded by smacking the cake on his face.
"That's my girl", her father patted her shoulder. I envied the scene.

I was a nobody not only at the school but at my home too. No one cared about my birthdays, my bad days and no one gave a shit about how I felt. No matter how hard I tried, I got the littlest attention as I turned 12 and my momma forgot about me. She didn't choose me over some powders. Abba didn't come home for my birthday.

I played the song, hurts like hell by Fleurie. Closed my eyes again and hummed with the singer. I snapped my fingers and slightly opened my eyes. Two waiters were bent over the head of the chairs of my table. The meal had been laid on the table. I narrowed my eyes at them and paused the song. The lady server shrieked, "People, we have a singer with us."

I looked at her confused. "I- no. I'm not a singer", I said while shaking my head. The birthday girl also hopped up, "Pretty please."

Crowd clapped their hands, apparently to hype me up. I sighed in annoyance and raised my hands in surrender. Strode toward the musicians, they welcomed me with polite smiles and nods. I got seated on the stool. Cleared my throat and grabbed the mic.

"Two things I wanna say before. First, your girl ain't a singer. Second, it's gonna put you in a sad mood. So, accept the apology beforehand", I licked my dry lips and saw a few people smiling and a few ignoring me.

I turned toward the band and told them the music to play. Diner fell quiet in anticipation. I started in a low voice, closing my eyes at the aching memories.
"How I say this without breaking?
How can I say this without taking over?
How can I put it into words when it is almost too much for my soul alone."

The little me got slapped across the face for hugging my mom.

"I loved and I loved and I lost you... And it hurts like hell"

The thirteen years old me got locked in the basement for the first time of my period. I spent my first day on the cold floor, with severe cramps and my bottom covered in blood. Mum said she didn't want to deal with it.

"I don't want them to know the secrets. I don't think they'd understand it, no. I don't think they'd accept me, no."

Miseries smile upon my breaking soul and me trying hard to be a heartless, smile along. I begged myself not to cry over the image of my younger self clinging to the wall and talking to and finding warmth from it.

"Come wrestle me free from the war. Your heart fits like a key. Into the lock on the wall. I turn it over. I turn it over but I can't escape. I loved and I loved and I lost you...", I sang the last bits and the image of little me faded as the folks cheered in the appraisal. Musicians also applauded. I thanked them and got back on my seat.

My eyes were burning and I wanted to cry, "Bring a sriracha sauce please", I asked the same lady server after hearing long praise of my vocals. She hurriedly brings it and I dig in my food, giving her a cue to leave me unaccompanied.

My foot continuously tapped on the floor while I gulped the malt. On the last sip, I contemplated on what to do. 'Enough trying to be a good child', echoed in my mind over and over. I get a few ideas so I rush to the counter to pay for the meal and get my ass out of the diner.

"Ma'am your dinner was on the house. No need to pay", the receptionist said politely.
"But why?", I asked and saw him getting surprised.

"You sang for us, that's why", he answered and the guy from the band, now wearing an apron and a cap, butted in, "I must say, your vocals are superb. We would like you to join us often, come again please."

'They'll never permit me for such things', Bells rang in my head, "about that, I'll see. And yeah, thanks for your offer", I said thoughtfully and headed out.

Now my feet voluntarily moved towards the showroom.

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