The Dancing Darling and Her Bad Boy (Completed)

Chapter 30

Beckett

It had been two weeks since Ally had died, two weeks of hell. Tyler hadn't left his room, well I don't know if he did, seeing as how I had stayed in mine. I had gone down once to get some food for the week and then retreated back to my room. I had a bathroom joined to my room, so it was just there and back to my bed, trying to sleep away the pain. 

Ally's dad had stayed over at my place too, because I don't think it would have looked too good if he came back home with puffy red eyes. He would never hear the end of it. 

I had thrown my phone at the wall the minute I sat down on my bed, and I heard it crack, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had ignored all calls and I hadn't gone on any social media at all, because I know there would be so many fake people saying 'I'm sorry for your loss' and shit like that. They didn't care. They never did, I doubt they ever will. 

Sighing, I stared up at my ceiling, thinking about what I would be doing if Ally was here. I would most likely be holding her hand, telling her to wake up. Of course, it wouldn't work, but it would be worth a try. Worth a hope. 

Once again, without even noticing, I was up and trashing my room. I had done this probably four times in the past two weeks, becuase I couldn't bring myself to do anything else. I couldn't go to the studio, becuase there were too many memories. I couldn't go to the shops, becuase I would think of her. Hell, I couldn't even go to school, becuase of the rumors and the looks that would be thrown my way. I was screaming as I kicked a lamp, sending it hurling at the door, and I fell to the floor again. Why her? Why? Why not me? No one would miss me. 'She would' a stupid voice said. I doubted it, she was too good for me, I wasn't anything good. 

But I was nothing without her. 

My stomach grumbled and I hit it, thinking to myself 'she won't be able to eat ever again.' It was the simplest of things, but it still hurt. I dragged myself back to my bed and lay down again, staring at the ceiling. There was a knock on my door. I grunted, but I guess the person took that as a sign to come in as the door opened and Tyler stepped in, and man did he look like shit. There were dark circles under his eyes, his clothes were crumpled, and his hair looked like a bird's nest. There was no colour in his face and looked sick. I probably did, too.

"Hi." It was the first word I had heard in two weeks, and Tyler's voice was raspy. He cleared his throat, "Hi," he tried again, but his voice still came out raspy. He coughed and cleared his throat, then coughed again, then tried to speak again.

"Hey." This time, his voice was relatively normal as I just stayed in my position, staring at him, my whole body numb.

"Beckett, come on, she wouldn't want this and you know it." I tried to grunt again but no noise came out, so I just watched as my stomach puffed out then returned back to my normal breathing. I felt like I was lost in my own mind, I hadn't talked in two weeks, I hardly moved apart from bathroom breaks and trashing my room, and I constantly felt numb.

Tyler walked over to me and sat on my bed, moving my arm across my body as he sat down next to me and stared at me.

"You look like shit," I said, but when I realised I hadn't actually spoken, I just blinked. It seemed like the only thing I could do.

"You look like shit," Tyler actually said to me, mimicking my thoughts.

I blinked twice, then just stared at him. I was looking, but I wasn't really seeing.

Ally and Tyler's dad walked in then, looking exactly like an older version of Tyler. Circles under his eyes, crumpled clothes and messy hair.

"Hi," he managed to say, as I just blinked at him in response.

"I don't know what to do, dad. It's like he's frozen. I can't do anything."

"I know it hurts, son. We all miss her, but you know she wouldn't want this," their dad replied, looking at me. It didn't just hurt. It was killing me. If I had've realised in time, Ally might have been saved.

I would still have my Ally.

Just then, a few people from Ally's- well, our dance group walked in. They looked a little better, but the three of them still looked terrible. They looked at me with sympathy, but I just didn't want their pity. No matter what people said, no matter how many times people wanted me to believe it, I knew it was my fault.

It was my fucking fault that Ally was dead.

~*~*~*~*~*

Everyone left soon after, realising that they wouldn't get me talking, and I blinked again as the door shut. I wasn't ever going to be able to forgive myself.

I hadn't even got  to tell her that I loved her.

I could taste it before I felt it, and soon enough I was in the bathroom, puking into the toilet. Well that's usually what happen after you don't eat for two days.

I realised then that I had to pick myself back up, for Tyler and for Ally.

Sighing, I flushed the toilet and got up on shaking legs, I looked in the mirror above the sink, and my eyes widened. I was white as chalk, the cricles under my eyes were almost black, and my hair was everywhere, hanging over my eyes and pointing in all directions.

I pretty much looked like a sick version of that sparkly vampire, except I didn't have glitter all over my body.

I splashed my face with some water, which got in my hair and made the bits hanging over my eyes stick to my forhead, and I sighed and got in the shower.

After the shower I got out and put some fresh clothes on, and I trudged downstairs to find Tyler laying on the couch while Mr. Parker sat in a chair next to the couch. At the sound of my feet padding along the floor, both Parkers looked at me in surprise.

Tyler's mouth hung open as he stared at me.

I raised my hand and waved at them, not trusting my voice.

"Beckett?"

"That's me," I actually managed to croak out, and my eyes widened at the sound of my voice. My throat was so dry and sore, that it came out sounding like I was choking or something. I cleared my thorat and went into the kitchen to get some ater, and after I had downed four glasses, I walked back to the living room and tried again.

"Hey."

I couldn't believe I had spoken, and obviously neither did they, because Tyler came up to me and poked my cheek.

"Holy shit it's actually you," he breathed, and I was able to crack a smile.

I decided I would do this for Ally, so I told the guys that I was going to go back to school, and that's what I did.

Two days later I found myself walking through the school doors, as everyone looked at me like I was an alien.

"You idiots have better stuff to do than stare at me, get on with your lives," I growled, and immediately everyone went back to what they were doing. I was not to be messed around with today.

"Hello Beckett," I heard numerous people say, "welcome back."

I grunted and pushed past them, maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea after all.