Tape and glue guy

I'm here

A/N NGL I MAY'VE CRIED A LOT WRITING THIS LMFAO... Let's just say my Chem teacher was rlly mf confused 😂 ha lol... little bit of angst in this chapter but it was necessary for them to work out their fears together instead of Mer bottling them up
ANYWAYS ENJOY LOVIES!!!!!!!
                                                                 

Meredith P.O.V
One month later

Derek had been released a week ago and I had barely left his side since. I was even terrified of letting him go to the bathroom by himself, thinking it would be the last I ever saw of him. I almost cried when he kissed my forehead and went into the bathroom to take a shower and I leant my head against the door the whole time.

We normally snuggled in bed, him being the big spoon, me the little, but now i lay almost on top of him, clutching his chest for dear life and laying awake for hours listening to his steady heartbeat.

I could tell he knew that something was wrong, hell even I knew I had a problem, but neither of us said anything, both slightly afraid to breech the subject.
Derek'd had mandatory counselling with Dr Wyatt before he was released, and he seemed to get a lot out if it. He wasn't as paranoid as I would've been, and he has dealt with the fear.

Well at least one of us had.

We were relaxing on the couch one morning, when he got up to make coffee.
"Oh crap we've got no milk" He said
"Black?" I said, trying to provide other options to the one I knew he was thinking.
"I know you only like black coffee when you've had no sleep, and on weekends you like it milky with two sugars because it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy"
I let out a chuckle. He was right, but that would mean we would have to go out to buy milk... WE not me or him, I can't be away from him for that long.

"I'll just run to the store and-"

"You know why don't we both go? W-we can go get groceries and we can take a walk yeah?" I said, convincingly
"Honestly it's fine mer, I'll be back in about 30 minutes"
"NO! You cant leave!"

"DAMN IT MEREDITH WHY?" He said irritated
"EVER SINCE THE ATTACK YOU WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING BY MYSELF.  I'M A GROWN-"

"LAST TIME I LEFT YOU ALONE YOU ALMOST DIED!"
I interrupted, my voice cracking as my eyes filled with tears. He was stunned into silence at my statement.
"NO WAIT YOU ACTUALLY DID DIE!! YOU WERE FREAKIN DEAD FOR 40 MINUTES OKAY?!!! A-AND I LOVE YOU A-AND I CAN'T I JUST I CAN'T I-"
I broke down, collapsing to my knees as I let out all the emotion is been holding in since the hospital. His arms were around me in an instant, scooping me up and rocking me backwards and forwards.
"You're scared that if you leave me alone I'll get hurt again?"

"I just hate that everything changed." I mumbled, eyes still downcast, pretending to be engrossed with our joined hands.

He inhaled a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I'm trying to get better and I'm almost 100%. Being home will help, and it's not like they'll be any big scars or anything. I mean, there'll be some small ones, but nothing huge... And I know that's a change, but-"

I looked up sharply, cutting his  rambling short. "What are you talking about? And why are you rambling?"

He swallowed, ignoring the small tremor in my hand.
"Changes," he stammered.
"You hate the changes but they're temporary, well, most of them are. And I'm doing my best to get better."

He thought i was worried about the scars? I don't know how he could think I would care about that. He was warm and his heart was beating- as long as I could see him and feel it i'd be fine.
My expression dropped dramatically when I met his eyes, filled with more sorrow than I'd had ever seen, and when he spoke, his voice was that of a broken man.
"Mer I love you and I'm still me"