If You Have To Ask

• Part 11 •

I woke up the next morning before Anthony did. I remembered the events of last night and just felt sick. I lost the one person I could trust and talk to about anything, I felt like I'd died a little inside. I wanted to leave before he woke up.
I packed my bags and made my way sheepishly to Johns room, I didn't want to go to Eddie's room. I didn't want to give Anthony any more of a reason to hate him. As I knocked on johns door I could feel the tears steaming down my face. He answered just in his shorts.
"Hey hey come here. Come in calm down and tell me what's happened" John grabbed my bags from me and sat down on the bed next to me.
"We're done, it's over" I felt my heart break all over again. Just saying out loud made me feel sick.
"Your not leaving me to are you" John said quietly looking down at me
"I don't know if I'm gonna stay, won't it be weird" I wiped away my tears.
"No it won't, we're your family. We need you here whether your with Anthony or not" John embraced me in a long hug and that's when I knew I would be okay.
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I stayed with the guys on tour as we embarked on the international part of the tour. Anthony and I would have sneaky sex whenever we could but I think everyone knew. Breakup sex though, am I right? I knew it wasn't healthy I mean on a night he'd be flirting with all these women doing god knows what with them and then wanting me the next night. I was too fucked up to care. I kind of developed a drinking problem to avoid the feelings I felt towards Anthony.
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We'd been broken up about 2 months now and it was getting harder to be around him. We'd stopped all the secret sex and secret meetings. He was just back to the Anthony that he was before we met.
We we're all backstage waiting for them to go on and of course Anthony had a girl on his lap, so did John and Chad. So I decided to sit with flea.
"You okay kid?" Flea asked putting his arm around my shoulder as I took a sip of my beer.
"I don't think I can stay much longer Flea, it's to hard" I could feel myself tear up as I glanced over at Anthony, so I ran out of the dressing room trying to calm myself down in the hallway.
"Faye what's up" it was Anthony.
"I'm just gonna go back to the hotel, have a good show" I started walking away when he grabbed my hand.
"Just stay please. We're going to a party after. Please it'll be a good night" he looked at me with those same eyes he did on the day we first met.
"Okay sure I'll be in in a second" I said wiping my face.
As I walked back into the dressing room I walked over to the table avoiding eye contact with Anthony. Pouring myself 3 shots I did them one after the other.
"Woah slow down gorgeous" I turned around to Chad giggling at me with a slight look of concern on his face.
"I'm fine" I said quite sternly and sat next to him.
"Let's go guys" flea started a huddle. It was time to go to the stage. Chad ran over to me flinging me over his shoulder running me towards the stage. We where joined by Pearl Jam as the pumpkins where already on performing. As Chad put me down kissing my cheek I looked over to Anthony who had torn himself away from the girl he was with earlier.
"Hey stranger" I turned around to Eddie who then put his arm around me. I could feel Anthony's eyes like daggers watching him. I didn't care what he thought anymore.
"Hey, yeah sorry I've not spoken to you a lot lately" I blushed slightly as he brought his face close to my ear.
"Don't worry about it, how bout we catch up at the party tonight" he kissed my cheek and went on the stage. I couldn't help but blush even though I know it annoyed Anthony but we haven't been together in months so I shrugged it off. It still hurt knowing we weren't a couple anymore.
Eddie was eying me the whole time he was on stage and I couldn't help but smirk at him. They where finishing up on stage walking off and I knew there would be a quick intermission while the crew were getting the stage ready. To my surprise Eddie was walking right towards me. He grabbed me behind my neck flung me round and placed a passionate kiss on my lips.
"See you later beautiful." He winked at me walking off back to his dressing room. I was taken by surprise I mean we hadn't spoken in days. I knew it annoyed Anthony, I could feel his eyes staring at me a bit in shock as well. It was time for the Chilis to perform.
"It would be my great pleasure to ask for a kiss upon my cheek from you young lady" I could help but laugh at Chad as he spoke in his best fake English accent. I kissed his cheek and behind him was John and Flea who I also kissed on the cheek. Anthony was stood there looking at me, his eyes looked sat.
I walked up to him and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. I could feel him blush slightly.
"Have fun out there" I smiled at Anthony as he went on stage.
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The show was finished and we were all on our way to the party. It was being held in a hotel penthouse of another band that was in town. I was so excited just to get so drunk that I don't remember where I am.
As soon as I walked in I grabbed the first bottle of vodka I could see and took a swig.
"Come find me later I want to talk" as Anthony walked past me he whispered in my ear going to shake some people's hands. I knew he was just jealous, I wasn't letting him ruin my night.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eddie smirking at me while he was stood there with his friends. I decided to mingle with people before I went to see him. The whole night all I felt was Anthony and Eddie's eyes on me. I felt intimidated but I kind of liked it. I was so drunk, not to drunk that I'd forget where I was but drunk enough to be stumbling everywhere. I stumbled over someone's leg but before I feel I felt a pair of strong hands grab my waist.
"Eddie..." I looked up and Eddies eyes just trapped me in. I grabbed his hands and led him outside onto the balcony. I knew Anthony want keen on Eddie being around me since that time in the mansion but at this moment in time I didn't care. I knew he was inside so he wouldn't see. I grabbed Eddie and just kissed him. We where making out, our tongues in a battle. I felt his hand slowly slip down and grab my ass, I was too drunk to care. At this moment in time I wanted him. I tore my mouth away from him and dragged him back inside trying to find a room that was empty. I saw a door shut and opened it hoping the room would be empty, to my surprise it was occupied by Anthony and a different girl to the one he was with earlier. His eyes lit up seeing who I was with.
"What you two doing?" Anthony was looking for his shirt trying to button his pants back up.
"Trying to find an empty room, bye" I dragged Eddie away laughing as we kept kissing each other.
A sudden realisation hit me, I didn't like Eddie like this, I was trying to piss Anthony off, this isn't right Faye stop.
"I'm sorry Eddie I can't do this" I ran out of the penthouse asking the the receptionist to call me a cab. I wanted to go home and by home I meant LA. Not to mine and Anthony's house, I wanted to go back to my old apartment. I hadn't lived there in years but I wanted to go back to my old life.
As I got back to our hotel I ran to the elevator as fast as I could, getting to my room I was historically crying, the first flight home I could find I'd be on. I grabbed my bag packing it, it was messy but quick.
"Faye where are you going" I turned around to see Anthony there.
"I need to go home I can't do this anymore" I said through my tears,
"Don't leave me please I need you here." He grabbed my hand when I started walking towards the door.
"You don't need me Anthony, you haven't in a while. We broke up nearly 3 months ago and since then you've been with how many women?" At this point I was in tears "I'm going home to LA, I'll sort out a new apartment and be out of your house before you get back from tour. I'm not sitting by watching you live your life when it's not with me."
And with that I walked out, got a cab to the airport and waited for the next flight to LA.
That was the last I saw Anthony Kiedis,
Until...