If You Have To Ask

• Part 18 •

As Anthony lay asleep next to me all I could do was stay awake worrying about my future, there was a lot of things I wanted and I wasn't sure if Anthony did. Was I making the right choice coming back here? I then heard a quiet knock at the door before John popped his head around the corner.
"Hey I thought you'd be in here. Wanna come and practice while everyone's asleep? Probably be the only chance we'll get for a while." He asked as I sat up.
"Sure let me just get dresses." I held the covers over my chest and looked on the floor at Anthony's T-shirt. John chuckled as he shut the door. I got out of bed trying not to wake Anthony up, I put on his T-shirt, of course, and a pair of bicycle shorts. John was already sat at the piano in the corner of the lounge.
"Are you sure no one will wake up." I asked before sitting down next to him.
"Well Chad and flea are passed out and by the looks of it you tired Anthony out." He giggled like a girl as I nudged him jokingly. I sat looking through my notebook before he asked if I was ready.
"I think so." I took a deep breath as John started playing the piano. Then I started singing.

I don't know how you do what you do,
I'm so in love with you,
you can speak right to my heart,
Without saying a word,
you light up my dark,
Just a boy and a girl,
To young to know,
at the end of the day,
We weren't there to hold hands,

I don't know why it ended,
I just know that i lay alone,
Looking at the sky
Hoping you'll remember me,
Remember me...

As we finished I was in tears. I hadn't sung that song out loud in years, I wrote it during such a hard point in my life. It was about mine and Anthony's break up and I just felt like I was losing a part of me by finally singing it again. I was finally ripping off my band aid. I wiped my tears quickly and looked at John who was in awes
"Faye I... I don't know what to say. Your amazing." John wrapped his arms around me and pulled my into a hug.
Little did I know that Anthony was standing in the doorway of his room listening in.
"Thank you John." I started tearing up again.
"Hey hey hey, what's the matter?" He wrapped his arm around me again as we were both still sat by the piano.
"I just... I don't want to get hurt again. I'm ready to settle, I want to be married and have kids in the next couple of years and if he's not ready I don't want to waste my time. But he's all I think about, he's all I've thought about for the last 7 years. I think I'll only ever want him and I'm scared that I'm not enough. Why can't I be enough." I was sobbing my heart out on John, I can't believe I just broke down like that. I think I needed it though.
"Look, Anthony's had a rough 7 years as well. I mean you didn't just leave him but I did too. From what Flea has told me he's never gotten over you either. It's like your meant to be and I'm not saying that to be cliché, I mean it! The way you are around each other, we can see your chemistry and I can see how happy you both are. Ive never seen either of you as happy trust me your my best friends. He wants all the same things as you! He wants you to be happy." John looked deep into my eyes as he wiped away my tears.
"God you really are my best friend aren't you?" I chuckled as he pretended to look hurt.
"Well obviously who else?" He said with sass as we got up to go back to bed.
————————
Anthony's POV

I heard them get up and quietly but quickly ran back towards the bed and pretended to be asleep again. As Faye walked in I could hear her sniffling. I slowly rolled over, pretending I'd just woken up, and pulled the covers back for her to get in.
"Baby what's wrong?" I sat up as she buried her head in my chest.
"I'm okay, just having a think about life." She said between sniffs.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked knowing that I did.
"I'd like that." I was surprised as it was already 5am.
"What do you want out of life?" I decided to go in with the big guns.
"I want to be happy and live by the ocean. I want to marry the love of my life and have perfect babies. I want to not feel so lost anymore. I want peace." I could feel her tears roll down my chest as she got upset again.
"I want the same you know." I said which made her sit up.
"You do?" She looked at me.
"Yes. I want to wake up everyday to the face I love the most. I want to teach my kids to surf and have family dinners. I want to dance in the kitchen and watch the sunset over the ocean with my wife. I want you." I wasn't planning on saying that yet but I couldn't help myself. I could see she was tearing up again.
"Are you sure? because you get pretty girls throwing themselves at you all the time and" I cut her off by kissing.
"But they aren't you, and I only want you." I could feel a wave of relief lift off of her.
I knew she was worried about us trying again and to be honest so was I. I never wanted her to be hurt again, I wanted to love and protect her until the day I died.
———————

I woke up the next morning and Anthony wasn't in bed. I got up and walked into the hallway to be greeted by a very hungover Chad.
"Morning sunshine" I giggled as he draped his arm over my shoulder walking with me to the main area.
"Don't even go there." He said putting some sunglasses on and jumping on the couch.
I walked round the corner to see Flea and John in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
"Where's Tony?" I asked while getting some juice out of the fridge but there wasn't any.
"And who the fuck drank my juice?" I turned around giving John the eyes.
"Sorry." He sheepishly said.
"Anthony went shopping, not sure what for but we leave in a few hours so he got up early to go." Flea said as he was frying an omelette.
"Oh okay. One of these for me." I asked as I put my hand on his shoulder with a plate in the other.
"Yeah this one actually." He placed it on my plate and I went and sat on the table.
"Flea I forgot how good your breakfasts were." I wasn't lying he did make good grub.
"Well get used to it kiddo because you ain't getting rid of me that easily this time." He said sitting down opposite me.
"Good" I smirked at him as John and Chad joined us at the table.
We all ate breakfast and then decided to go for one last swim before we had to pack up.
"I swear to god Chad you Chuck me in the pool and I'll kill you." I laughed baking myself away from him until he charged at me flinging me over his shoulder and throwing me in the pool.
"You asshole." I splashed him as he jumped in laughing.
I started doing handstand on the bottom of the pool and roly polys, god I forgot how much I loved swimming. Me and Flea decided to have a race, we dived in at one side and would swim underwater all the way to the other side. First one there wins.
"Contestants ready" John shouted,
"3... 2... 1...GO." Him and Chad both shouted.
I dived in and swam as fast as I could. When I came up at the other side I could still see Flea swimming.
I put my hands up in victory.
"Fuck sake how did you swim so fast." Flea said while jumping out of the pool.
"I'm like a fish." I joked as I got out to.
I turned around to see Anthony had now joined the fun, he was standing there smiling at me with his trunks on.
"Where have you been?" I asked as I walked up next to him.
"I just went for a walk and a bit of a shop before we leave. Why, you miss me?" He put his arms round my neck pulling me in.
"Maybe a little." I smirked as he then picked me up and jumped in the pool with me.
"For god sake Kiedis I've just got out." I said splashing him as he swam up to me.
I could feel his hands underneath the water wrapping around my waist. I didn't complain and I certainly didn't stop him. I slyly wrapped my legs around his waist and put my arms around his neck.
"You know that pool doesn't make you invisible" Chad laughed winding us up.
"Shut up Chadwick" Anthony said giving him a look.
"I need to talk to you anyway come with me" Anthony got up leading me into his room.
"What's up?" I sat on the bed while he shut the door.
"I've been thinking... I want us to try again, properly. My whole life I've known what I wanted and when I was with you I was a stupid kid and took advantage of what was right in front of me. But all these years have passed and your still the only one I want to share my life with. I've been with plenty of other girls but that's the thing they were just girls, non of them mattered. Only you." I could feel myself tearing up as he pushed my hair behind my ear.
"What are you saying?" I spat out between tears.
"I want us to start dating, i want to do it properly. I don't want to jump straight into a relationship even though that's what I want I just always jump into things too fast and they end up getting ruined. I want us to take our time, I want it to work." I felt my heart pounding as he said it, he had matured so much and was acting more like a man than the boy he was before.
"Yes we can start dating." I kissed him and he held me close.
"Anyways we better start packing." He put my suitcase on the bed for me and passed me my things out of the bathroom.
We all finished packing and made our way back to the bus. Next was Woodstock, which the guys were so excited for and so was I! It was in Rome, New York which was about a 2 and a half days drive but I didn't mind. It meant I got to spend more time with Anthony.