His Warrior Queen: A Haikyuu!! Novel (Tsukishima x OC)

Chapter 16: Tsukishima: A Momentary Lapse of Reason (TW)

(TW: Brief mention of possible non-consensual sex/rape)

My alarm wakes me up from a rather lovely dream.  A dream that maybe, later today, I might be able to make a reality.  

After my decision to talk to Nakano today, I've felt surprisingly calm.  I had assumed that upon deciding to take the chance and ask Nakano to go out with me, I'd be all kinds of crazy nervous and worried.  It seems to have had the opposite effect.  It's like having finally decided to move forward, all the tension has left.  I'm...excited?  Anticipatory.  That's a better word.  I'm eager to talk to her, now that I've made the decision.  I have to make it through the day with her right nearby, and then through practice.  I want this day to get done so we can talk it all over.

The usual morning routine.  A shower, dress, gather the things I need for school today, eat breakfast.  Well, such as it is.  I'm generally not much of a breakfast person.  But I do try to eat something, or I get really hungry long before lunch, and that just makes me irritated.  I don't want to be irritated today.  Despite what people seem to think, I don't enjoy being irritated.  That's why it's called being irritated.  No one likes that.

I've been thinking since yesterday about what to say, and how to say it.  I think I've got a plan, of sorts, but some of it is going to depend on Nakano.  After all, this is about both of us.  I want to hear how she's feeling.  I want to tell her how I'm feeling.  I know she heard me sing 'Layla' and 'The Reason.'  But now, I want the the chance to talk with her about what those feelings mean.

Damn, this is crazy.  What the hell is happening to me?  And why the hell do I kinda like it?  

The one thing that makes me feel like maybe this all isn't so bad is the fact that she can be just as salty as I am.  I don't think I could deal with a girl who didn't have the backbone to stand up to me once in a while.  I mean, I know I can be...direct.  Okay, I can be a real jackass.  Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes not.  But I know myself well enough to know it's true.  And yet, she doesn't seem to be bothered by that.  In fact, I think sometimes she actually enjoys the sparring as much as I do.  And she's not afraid to call me on it when it gets out of hand or isn't the right time.  I think that's one of the things I like most about her.

I don't see her on the way in to Karasuno, but that's not entirely unusual.  I know she often has early physical therapy, or sometimes she goes for a morning run.  I still wonder why she pushes herself so hard.  Well, I know why...I just don't understand the motivation.  Part of why I'm eager to talk to her is because...well, she hinted at the idea that if we got together, she'd be able to share more of her story with me.  I know it will likely take some time, but I want to know all about her.  I want to understand her.  And I think that, more than anything, finally decided it for me.  If this was all just physical, I'd see no point in that.  Don't get me wrong, Nakano is beautiful, and I'm sure the physical side of our relationship will be...amazing.  But she even said it herself.  That's not the most compelling thing to me, either.

Tadashi is up ahead.  My guess is we are going to have a discussion, based on the look on his face.  I've haven't told him about my intentions yet.  I bet he's gonna be amazed when I tell him.

"Hey Tsukki!"

"Morning, Tadashi."

He falls in step next to me.  I'm not saying anything until he asks.

"Uh...Tsukki?"

"Yeah?"

"Um...well...I was...uh..."

"Spit it out, Tadashi."

"Well, I heard Kageyama talking to Hinata yesterday..."

"Oh?  Did the King have anything interesting to say?"