Poems With Meaning

Goodbye

Goodbye - the worst word in the human language.

Ask yourself, are we still friends? It's up to you, only you know the answer. I'm the wrong person to ask, though I've been asking myself the same thing for the last 5 months. I'm so disconnected from you, but it wasn't even gradual. It was like a plug being yanked from a power socket - sudden and unexpected. We barely even said goodbye.

We've hardly spoken to each other despite my best efforts - I would try time and time again but when I was around you guys I was invisible. Was it you or is it me? Don't tell me I am too quiet or that I should have spoken up, ‘cause that's the problem - no one heard me when I did. So I remained quiet - people seem to like me better that way. That way we wouldn't have to say goodbye.

I tried so hard to be with you guys - the ones who made those few hours of my week bearable and fun, the only reason I kept going back was you three. And now all of you are gone. We’ve all said goodbye.

I was so invisible to you that, despite being behind you in the line for lunch, the three of you saved each other a seat and I had to sit down the far end - on my own (as usual) - because that's how things were. I was anticipating that moment I knew would be coming. Because ... because I don't even know if we were still friends by the end. When we said goodbye, you have no idea how I felt. You had no idea how crushed I was.

All I've done is say goodbye. Saying goodbye to all the people I loved and cared about most. I just want it to stop. I want to stop saying goodbye and start saying hello. But that's not what life seems to want me to do. Life insists I keep saying goodbye. So far I've said goodbye forever to 6 people I loved all at once.

It's hit me hard in the chest. Goodbye. Goodbye doesn't cut it, it should have been a proper farewell cause, let's face it, you won't wanna see me again – I was just a person to pass through your life. You hardly spoke to me in those last eight weeks which were term 4 so there was no point than saying anything other than goodbye. Deep inside I felt myself break when I said goodbye to the three of you like that - I cried when I had walked out of sight cause that was the last time I knew I'd see you again. The last time I knew I'd see some of the most important people to me again. Goodbye broke my heart. And we haven't spoken since.

My heart broke into a million pieces I must now try and sew back together, and quickly too before school assessment starts to get heavy. It's terrible timing I'm feeling like this at the start of my senior year at school - so now that's three years in a row I'm starting off feeling worse than I should. Three years in a row it began and ended with goodbye.

I thought knowing all year that I'd be saying goodbye to you at the end was daunting - but now I have to deal with knowing I'll be saying goodbye to many of my school friends and more cadet friends at the end of the year.

So you tell me; are we still friends? You let me know when you decide and maybe I'll get to speak to you all again. So once more I say goodbye. Saying goodbye broke my heart.

Everything starts and ends with goodbye - the worst word in the human language.

A/N: I'm saying goodbye to too many people.