You'll Find Us Chasing The Sun...

Part 3 - To Be Loved...

*Hey guys,

I know I usually do this at the end, but I just wanted to say sorry for not updating in a while. I'll update this one more when I've finished 'You Hate Nathan Sykes?!'

This part is based on the song called 'To Be Loved' which is by Train - at the side if you want to listen to it. It's the soundtrack to Abduction, if you've ever seen that film then you'll know what I mean. And if you haven't, then I recommend that you watch it. I thought it was a bloody amazing film.

And it's dedicated to Lizzie because her comment on the last part made me laugh. She's also amazing and very weird, but I love her. So be nice and read her stories...you'll love them! ;D

Anyway, hope you enjoy this part. Love all you guys,

Em :)xx*

*IMOGEN'S POV*

There was a part of my mind which considered forgiving Max and Taylor for what they had done. It was telling me that they really were sorry and I should just give them both another chance. But that was only a small part.

The rest of my mind was telling me to just walk away from them both. Leave them to deal with the consequences of their actions. They got themselves into this mess, so they can get themselves out of this mess. They don't need me to help them.

I mean, they're grown people. They should have known what they were doing was wrong.

Who would sleep with their bestfriend's boyfriend behind their back?

I thought I knew Taylor better than anyone. But all of this has proved that I don't really know anything about her. She's just a stranger to me. Yet we had been bestfriends for four years before all this went on. I thought I could trust her with anything. Turns out I was wrong about that one as well.

I'm sure there is good in both of them. But it's been hidden deep inside them. The light which used to exist has been clouded over by their actions. I can see them for who they really are now.

Desperate.

Liars.

Back-stabbers.

Traitors.

Those are just some of the words I would use to describe both Taylor and Max.

You might consider me to be harsh and cruel, but you would feel the same if you were in my position. It's the worst feeling in the world and if you know the feeling; then I feel sorry for you. No person should ever have to go through this. Imagine the time when you cried the most. When you most felt alone and felt like the whole world was against you. When you most felt vulnerable. Put all of that together and that's how I'm feeling now.

I was stupid to think that Max would go for a girl like me. I mean Max George. Member of worldwide band The Wanted. And then me. Imogen Cook. Plain and simple office worker. I've got nothing going for me. Nothing to really be proud off. Nothing to really celebrate. Nothing to make me happy with my life. While Max has it all. He has the fame. He has the fans. He has the money. He can be proud of all that and he can celebrate that all the time. He could look back on his life and be happy with everything that he had achieved. That was nothing like me.

We were totally different and we would never have worked. Even if we had been lucky enough to last longer than we did.

When you look at it differently, I got out of the relationship just in time. I would have been more hurt if I found out further down the line. I have to move on and try to get on with my life. Easier said than done though. Especially when you don't want to move on. As much as I hated Max for what he had done, I still loved him. But I knew I would never be able to forgive. I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd constatly be checking on himl making sure that I knew what I was doing. It would be over before it even began.

I wasn't wrong for loving Max. And he wasn't wrong for loving me. But there is no way of going back there again. He has Taylor now, while I have no one. He gets to be happy, while I pretend to be happy. He wins, while I lose. You see how this going?

It's impossible for me to win in this situation.

I uncovered the real Max. And it's not the Max that I fell in love with. He's someone that I no longer recognise. I don't even know him anymore. He's just some guy that slept in my bed for eleven months, until something better came along. Then he jumped into her bed and kept her warm at night. I much preferred knowing the other Max. The innocent one who told me that he was always going to love me, protect me and care for me.

But they were just empty words after a while. His decision proved that one to me.

In time, I might be able to be friends with him. But, for now, I just want him to stay away from me. I want to avoid him until I can't take it anymore. I need time get over him. Not seeing him is the best way to do that. But this is now. The future is unknown to us all. Who knows what might happen then.

The future is what we make it. I'm just going to have to make mine the best I can considering everything which has happened.