WHEN IT ALL TURNED BLACK AND WHITE

8

Louis

I'm still sorry about everything that happened. Everything. I'm sorry what I'm about to do. I have to. I have no other choice.
Don't fade away.

1 month had passed since I had to move out. I still wasn't okay, and I don't think I'll ever be.

Me and Harry were okay as friends. We were able to keep up the facade of the straight dudes that were only platonic. I mean fans still went crazy on the internet and shipped us, and I loved that. The management didn't.

That's why I had to pretend to be with her. I mean, she's one of my best friends, so she's at least not a stranger.

But I know it killed harry.

We took some pictures, or more like, we walked in public holding hands, and the paparazzi took pictures.

We both laughed about it and read all these dumb articles about us. It was quite fun.

But in the back of my head a voice kept screaming Harry. Harry is hurting. Call Harry.

Apparently the publicity stunt thing wasn't enough, they had to tweet something from my account.

"How's this, Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm happy why cant you accept that."

Suddenly the world was darker again. My smile faded again. I wish I called him that night. I wish I could've explained it all to him. That it wasn't me, who wrote the tweet.

My head started to spin. I was shaking. Too much caffeine? No. Not enough harry.

I missed him more than before. So much more. I was homesick. Harry was my home. But I couldn't return home, I was stuck.
Stuck in an incredible unfair situation. Stuck in my own head. Stuck in my own body.

Harry,
Everything that happened today, the last week, it wasn't me. It wasn't my intention to hurt you that way. I have no control over my life anymore.
I miss you so so so much. So so so so so so much. More than anything. Harry, you're my lifeline. My everything.
Please never forget that. Promise me that. Never forget that I love you.
In the next time I will fade away from you. You will move on. I hope that you will move on and find a better partner. One that will fight for love. Harry, I feel so guilty.
I know you wont see this any time soon but I still hope you will give me answers to this.
I love you.