WHEN IT ALL TURNED BLACK AND WHITE

Part II

Louis

I hope you'll never forget how much I love you. I cant express it sometimes, but you're my everything. Everything I need. I know we cant always be with each other but our hearts are always connected. Always. And one day, we can be free.

I knew the phone call would happen soon. We were separated in most of the interviews and had no photo shoots together anymore. It hurt so bad, pretending to not love someone. But apparently it wasn't enough to separate us in the public eye. Now we weren't even allowed to live together anymore. I got told somebody would pick me up very early in the morning to drive me to my new apartment on the other side of the city. At least its still the same city, I thought. But that didn't help my aching heart.

"Haz what do you want to cook?" I asked, trying to sound calm.

"I don't know. The usual." He said and the pain in his voice was cristal clear.

"Hey, it could've been worse than me living in a different apartment. At least we still see each other when we're with the boys." I said but it wasn't the same. We weren't even allowed to call each other. The only time we would have contact would be in front of the whole world, where we cant be ourselves.

"Its not the same, Lou. I don't know if i can do this." Harry said and seeing his broken face, that still looked so perfect shattered my heart.

"Harry, we can do this. Remember, one day, we will find each other again. And we can be together again." I said trying to calm him down.

"I know but what if we don't find each other again?" He said and I didn't wanna think about it. The thought of me and harry never being able to love each other killed me.

"We will. In this life and in the next." I said and kissed him.

After that we cooked and ate. We also drank a lot of wine to cheer us up a little bit, so we could at least laugh and pretend to be happy our last hours together. We watched our favorite movie and drank more wine.

"Lou?" Harry said after a while.

"Yes haz?" I asked.

"Can I keep a sweatshirt from you?" He asked. That question made my heart happy but also sad at the same time.

"Of course. Everything you want." I said and smiled at him.

He didn't answer but rested his head on my shoulder. That was when it hit me again. This would be the last time we could do this. Sitting on our couch and watch our favorite movie. It was honestly terrifying.

After the movie we had another snack and our last glass of wine. It was already pretty late and we decided to go to bed. The last time we could share our bed. I felt empty.

"Harry, will you promise me you won't move out of this apartment? Until I can move back in." I said.

"Sure. I wasn't planning on doing that either way. I couldn't leave this all behind. This is our home. It always will be." He said and deep inside me I prayed that we could one day live here together again.

Before we fell asleep we promised each other again how much we loved each other. Endlessly. We cuddled the whole night.

6am I got a call. My phone was muted so harry didn't wake up. Thank god. I wanted to leave before he woke up, it would be easier i figured. I prepared breakfast for him and left some sweatshirt and T-shirts from me for him.

I also left an envelope on our bed.