(n.) to find healing by the process of forming scars
"tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."
"why?"
"because nothing about it will change how i feel about you."
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best ranks:
[18: phoebe tonkin]
[18: end of the wor...
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RILEY WOULD SEARCH FOR SHANE and address the elephant in the camp.
She hadn't talked to him privately about the Rick being dead situation and now it was time to clear everything up. Rick not being there meant everyone could get whatever they wanted out of their chests to prevent conflict. And Riley's first initial thought was to search their shared tent.
She walked into their tent, seeing Carl still listening on the Walkman, bopping his head up and down to the beat. Shane sat right next to him; Shane also enjoyed the company even if Carl didn't pay any attention to him.
Riley crouched in front of the boy and pulled down the headphones, "Hey, you mind giving me a few moments with my brother." she asked, gesturing her head to Shane.
"Can I take this with me?" he asks, holding up the player.
"Course darling, stay within your mom's sight." She replied.
Carl nods and runs outside, leaving with his bubbly aura and having the air become a chokehold on the siblings. Riley felt she shouldn't bring up their current situation and forget it ever happened, but she didn't want to be protected from the truth anymore.
"Can we talk?" she asks, the words finally escaping her pink, soft lips.
He slowly picks up his head to face her, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Shane wasn't in the mood for confrontation nor was he in the mood to argue. Though he knew Riley would never let him be able to escape her questions, she would only come back twice as hard.
"What now are you going to judge me for?!" he hisses.
She sighs, "It's not the reason why I'm here," she spoke sternly, crossing her arms against her chest "I'm here to ask why you lied about Rick,"
Shane stands, "There wasn't a pulse." He answers blankly, he wanted that to be forgotten, "I had to get you guys out of there. If we stayed grieving, maybe you or Lori would've died. Maybe even Carl." he adds, trying to make his choices seem reasonable.
Riley didn't think of the consequences of them staying back at the hospital. What if Lori had died, even Carl? She would've never been able to forgive herself knowing she couldn't protect him. The girl couldn't afford to make the same mistake twice. Though it gave no right to start telling lies. For heaven's sake, Rick is family and abandoning him meant abandoning everyone else, Riley, Lori, and Carl.
"Is it because of you and Lori?" she asked quietly, looking down at her combat boots.
She drew conclusions from what she knew and what she observed. Shane and Lori being closer than usual and a new profound authority he held with him after the drive from the hospital. But in Shane's mind he didn't try to make everyone forget Rick, it was the last thing he wanted. It all just made him confused.
