Loving hurts (Discontinued)

Chapter 5

Harry's POV

Where am I? Is the first thing I think looking around I realise I'm in Gemma's room. Why am I in Gemma's room I start to wonder before it starts to come back to me. Shit. I need to get back to do some explaining soon.

I stand up and lean on the side table until the dizziness disappears. Shaking my head I start walking to the door and crack the it open. I listen for voices that might mean that mum is hear. Not hearing any I slowly walk down stairs. I pause at the bottom of the steps and listen again. I hear nothing.

Taking that as a good sign I walk through the kitchen and into the living room. Seeing Gemma I breath a sigh of relief causing her to look up from her book. "Hey." I say looking at her expecting anger or annoyance at the least. Instead I see worry. "Are you okay?"  That was not what I expected. "Yeah I'm fine." I say she just looks at me places her book on the coffee table next to her steaming tea and opens her arms.

"Come here." Is all she says. I just head over and sit on her lap and I hug her back her not caring how uncomfortable this must be for her. "You aren't a disappointment Harry. I love you so much and I can't bear to believe that you think you are. If it helps mums just one person. And you have hundreds of thousands if not millions of people that love and will accept you. And best of all you have me, the better styles, and I support you." She says finishing off by looking at me in my eyes. Making sure that I listened to all that.

"Now for the important question. Do you want tea or coffee?" 
"Water please," I say with a laugh getting off her lap, "but I can't stay long I have to get back and mum will be home in a bit. What time is it anyway?"
"5:20. And don't worry about mum she won't be back till tomorrow." She shouts from the kitchen her voice getting louder as the tap turned on. I book a taxi for 6:00 because I need to be back at the flat by tonight.

Putting my phone down I look at the book she was reading before I came in. Journalism for beginners  "Following  your dreams are you?" I say when she walks back into the room. "Yeah." She says with a scoff. "Bet mums not to happy about that." I say raising an eyebrow. "She has no clue what I am doing actually. All of the stuff is in my room and she's always over at Robins house so she doesn't notice anything at all. I'm actually taking classes for it now at uni and I'm in the newspaper club thing." She says as I drink my water.

"Now it's not like I don't love you being here but breaking down earlier and you coming here even risking seeing mum means something has to be up. So why are you here?" She says taking a sip of her tea that has cooled down when she finished speaking. I take a big breath before speaking. "I don't want to be in the band anymore." I say looking down. Surprising her. Once she gathered herself from the shock she asks the question "Why?"

"I just don't fit. The boys are great but I hate the management. They make fun of me all the time and try to make it so I don't get to sing. The boys have made sure I get the most solos though. I'm not actually sure why seeing as I can't sing. They constantly rub it in my face that I'm gay and not allowed to come out. I'm just sick of it. But the thing is I'm not able to quit at least not for another 3 years and it's killing me." I finish looking at my hands not wanting to see her expression.

"Oh Harry I'm so sorry. I should've been there for you all this time I didn't know. I'm sorry. Do the boys know?"

"No they think I'm fine. I always fake it in front of them because the moment something is wrong they go to management who have made my life and absolute torture so I don't want to, also have you seen their acting skills it's laughable how bad they are."

"I'm so sorry Harry. Is there anything I can do?"

"I just need to be able to talk to you without mum finding out please." I say knowing she'll say yes and we can organise it. "Yeah of course," she says taking out her phone " how a about Wednesday at 4:30 yeah I have 3 hours that I can just block out if I need to." She says pulling out my own phone I check and see that it's free for the next 6 weeks at least "Yeah that's good for me." I check the time (6:03) "I got to go but thank you so much just being here has made me feel so much better." I say getting up from the couch. "Yeah it's ok, we have a lot to talk about on Wednesday though. Oh and if you want to come see me just text me and I can see what I can do." She says smiling warmly as she hugs me goodbye.

A car horn signals from that I need to go "Bye I love you." I say as I walk away to the car outside. "Love you too just text if you need me." She says back making me smile. I hop into the cab and give the address for princess park manor.

Time to go back to hell. Plugging in my head phones I turn on some music. I look out the window watching the houses go by.