Loving hurts (Discontinued)

Chapter 15

Harry POV

My phone lights up and I go to see why.

Gemma: Hey Harry I know we haven't talked for a while and I know that it is my fault but something weird just happened. Louis came over and was wondering where you were and I don't think he knew about what happened with mum and dad.

I sigh while a singular tear rolls down my face. I turn my phone off and grab my bag and go to the gym.

As I am finishing up my phone buzzes with a text from Zayne asking us about how my holiday is going and if we miss each other and the answer is always yes, these lads are my family so of course, I miss them but I just turn my phone off and grab my stuff and head back to the hotel.

•••••••••••••••••••time skip••••••••••••••••••

As a head back to the house to meet up with the boys I keep thinking that they would probably not want me there and as I'm about to say to the driver to take me home he says " We're here!" and I lookout to see if the boys are there and see that none of them are but I get out and grab my bags. I start to walk up to the house. I put the key in the door and head up to my bedroom that I love, still, none of them are there but I just sigh and start unpacking and head to the bathroom. 

"Hey old friend, did you miss me? This is for leaving the boys without any explanations," I say to myself pulling the blade out of my pocket. The blood starts to peep through as I turn on the shower, I cut my arm a few more times and bring a smile to my face for all the horrible things I've done to the boys and to Louis, he shouldn't have to deal with me, none of the boys do. I run my hand under the hot water. I feel a slight burn when the water first hits my arm but after a while, I don't feel it anymore.

When I come out of the bathroom I change to go to sleep because it is now 9:30. We also have a few long weeks ahead of us. I turn off the light and close the door.

After a while of me staring aimlessly at the ceiling, I go down the stairs to see if any of the boys are here and I find Louis drinking tea and thinking on one of the stools in the kitchen. " Hey, Louis," I say softly, trying not to wake anyone up. He turns and looks at me and I walk up and sit on the stool next to him. "Why didn't you tell me about your parents Harry?" Louis says to me looking into my eyes.

"I didn't want anyone to worry about me," I say hoping it convinces him to let it go. He sighs and puts his arm around me.

"People are supposed to worry about you."

I turn into him and start to cry. He pulls me in for the hug, I don't let go and neither does he. "Aww, you guys are so cute," Niall says yawning. We both turn and let go of each other. Niall walks down to us followed by Zayn and Liam. "When did you guys get here?" I ask. Zayn says "About 2 hours ago." The other boys nod their heads in agreement with what Zayn said." Why are you guys crying?" Liam says looking at Louis and me I. Louis saves me from having to tell them about my parents and says " We were watching a video on puppies." "Where is the phone?" Zayn says. I look at Louis and nod at him and I start to tell them about my parents with a few tears down my face.

"Where did you stay then?" Niall says.

"I stayed at a hotel," I say looking down.

"Harry you should've told us. You could've come and stayed the holiday with me. My mum loves you." Niall says with tears in his eyes. Niall never cries. What have I done?

"Niall it's fine don't worry. I'll be fine. And I don't want to worry your mum."

"Harry, she loves you. You wouldn't worry her."

"It's fine don't worry. I'm going to go to bed. See you tomorrow." I say as I hop up and walk to my room. Louis follows me to my room and as I climb into bed he climbs in and brings me close to him. Being tired I snuggle closer and bury myself into his chest. Trying to contain myself I start silently crying.

"Let it all out. Don't worry." Louis whispers in my ear. Hearing this I give in to the tidal waves of emotions and just let them run through me. Shaking and shivering my sobs rack my body. Why can't I just be strong?

"I'm such a loser. Am I so unlovable that my mum doesn't even want me? Why can't I just be good." I whisper almost as if I didn't want him to hear me. It's the opposite.

"You are good and you are the strongest person I know. You have dealt with your mum disowning you. You have dealt with going from being a normal 16 year old to a millionaire in less than two years and now you're always in the public eye. You are cast as the womaniser even though you don't date half the people they say you do. You are so good and strong and such an amazing person." Louis says back just as softly. Even though I know he's lying I let him say it. There's no point arguing.

Even though I shouldn't, I feel him squeeze me and it brings a sense of warmth with it. Giving up I end up falling asleep.