It's Not My Fault.

16

Unedited

I stared at the women. In a monotone I said, "this is a very twisted joke daddy...its too low. Even for you!" With that I stood up straight and walked out the room. I walked up into my room and locked the door. There was a knock on the door. "Beautiful? Do you want me to go home?" I unlocked the door and let xavier in. "No! I missed you too much doofus!" I said burying my head in his chest. He just laughed and wrapped his arms around me. "Look I have no clue what's going on right now, and I'm not gonna try because that will just be a lie. But do you know who that women is?" I shook my head with tears streaming down my face, yet I felt numb inside. "You sure baby girl?" I nodded. I heard him mumble an ok before picking me up bridal style. He set me on the bed before closing the door and locking it. "She looks so much like h-her. B-but I was there when she died!" I mumbled. "What?" Xav asked sounding so confused. "My mom. Her name was Jenielle. And who ever that women is, looks like her." I felt xavier cringe. I would too. "That's twisted." He spat in disgust. We sat -well laid- there caught in our own trains of thoughts. I was at the hospital when mom died, I was there when the doctor told me she had gone to live with the angels up above. I was the one who sat at home waiting for daddy to come home. This was low, even for him. Who the hell was that women.
When I had calmed and collected my thoughts I got up and wiped my eyes. They're properly looking like a panda who has red blotches. "Where you going babe?" I heard xavier ask. "To find out what the fuck is going!" I marched down stairs. Taking a deep breath I walked in the living room to see the women staring at my daddy dear with so much disgust it was almost comical. But her eyes held hurt? Regret? Mix of both? She heard me come in and stood up. "You have five minutes to give me an explanation."
She stood, l gave her a flat look and she sat back down. "Four." I say counting in my head. The face she pulled showed me that she didn't think I would count. "Iwashavinganaffairwiththedoctorandhegavemethecureandtoldyouiwasdeadbutiwasjustasleepandhetoldmeyouandyourdaddiedinacarcrash!" I couldn't help it, I burst into a laughing fit. I composed myself and clapped. Three simple claps. "Bravo, you could've fooled someone. Except the doctor was a woman. You rushed out that it was a male." Her face dropped. She sighed. "I see you don't believe me. I just wanted to see my daughter-" I cut her off in anger, "I AM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!" Before I could stop myself, I slapped her round the face. I walked out the room to the front door, opened it, then walked back into the living room. "Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!" I said before making my way to the kitchen. I heard footsteps, thinking it was her I turned ready to say something to see it was daddy... He stood there, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. "Spit it out." He shook his head. "It could be her..." He said sounding...broken. I shook my head. "No!" I was crying again, "It was a women who came into the room when I came out crying. I remember the day like it was yesterday dad!" When I said dad a small smile broke his hard, yet broken face. He looked like the man I loved eleven years ago. "You went down to the cafeteria, I sat on the bed with my mommy. She was stroking my hair. She said 'my beautiful baby girl.' Then her eyes fluttered and-and-and" I broke into tears I almost fell under myself. But daddy caught me. I cried and cried into his shoulder. "Before we knew it, she was gone." He finished with so much emotion, brokenness; heartbreak; sadness and most of all, pain. i got out of his arms. "Six daddy, I was six! I sat in the hospital waiting for you to come and get me. Then a policeman came and took me home, telling me that you were there waiting. Then uncle Steve was there. He took me to bed and that was the last I ever saw of him. I waited two days for you to come home. To take me into your arms and tell me it was alright. Like you once did. But you came home in a drunken state and hit me instead." I was able to only put anger into the words directed at him. With that I got out of the kitchen, grabbed my keys and went to my car. The door opened and I was expecting Xavier to be there but it wasn't. It was the devil himself. "Get out and get xav." He shook his head. "No, I have been the shittest father, ever! You were right. I was the one who ordered your death. I said it at the station and I will say it now. You deserve better. I thought the drink helped I don't remember the night I came home. After the hospital I went round steve's and told what happened. I-I didn't know what to do. He said he would look after you until I was ready to go home. I phoned the hospital that Steve would take you into his care for the week. Then I remember crashing at his place the first night then the next day I went to the bank and payed for your moms burial. Then I remember going to a club and well that's the last thing I remember before waking up on the couch the next morning and you crying in the corner with a punch mark on your face." Tears were streaming down his face. I sat there staring at him. "Why carry on the abuse?" I asked. "Half the time I don't remember. I wake up and you've more bruises. The times I do remember, I just last out." He said refusing to look at me. He's eyes were set on the radio. "I-I'm so sorry chyna! I really am." I snorted. "Sorry won't help you any more Dylan!" When I said his name not daddy, he flinched. I got out the car and went back inside. "Baby, I've got to go." I nodded and kissed his cheek. "I love you so much!" I said hugging him. "I love you more baby girl." With that we shared a long, sweet, passionate and most of all, needing, kiss. "I'll call tonight." I nodded. I waved as he drove off. I saw the women had gone. Good. I went upstairs and packed, everything. From my underwear to the posters on my walls. I packed everything into my car. I grabbed my laptop and transferred all my money to my last credit card. Any money dad had transferred to the debit card he gave me, stayed there. I only have the money I've saved up since I was seven to about a month ago. I've had a couple part time jobs and done some babysitting. I have enough. I waited till my dad went into his office. I wrote a note.

'Looks like you got what you wanted. I'm leaving. I wish I
could say I love you but I
would be lying.
Good bye Daddy...'

I left it on the table in the kitchen. I left my phone next to it. I grabbed my jacket, shoes, purse and keys. I took one last look at the place I once called home. I got in my car and drove down to Caitlin's. I parked a block away and set down a last birthday present and card (as its her birthday tomorrow) down on her doorstep and rang the doorbell. I sprinted to my car and thought about what I wrote in the card.

'Caitlin,
I love you so much, words can't describe! You are my sister, my ride or die. You've been there for me since forever. Hopefully some point in the future we will see each other again, but for now this is, not a good bye because good bye is forgetting, but a farewell.
I was too scared that if I done this face to face then I wouldn't be able to leave...you are my family, I love you <3 but I have to do this.
On the plus happy birthday hunnybunny.
Give your mum and dad a hug for me.
Love chyna x'

I sped off as I didn't want to see her reaction. Now for the last one, Xavier. I don't know if I can though... He's stayed with me when times got rough, but this was the last straw. I just can't. As I drive I can feel the tears, as the run down my face. I stop outside he's two story family home. The typical house. Red bricks, two small steps to the wooden door. French windows and a little chimney top on the roof. Green grass surrounding the front lawn with a white picket fence. A small gate that starts the stone path to the steps. A side garage with a drive in. I dreamed that me and xav would get married and have this home where we can watch our little selves grow up.
I pulled up just out side drive and stepped out into the freezing cold late November weather. I walked up the path and rang the door bell. It was his mom who answered the door. I've met her many times. She took one look at my tear stained face and she turned into the loving caring mother who picks up their child when they cry, gives them lots hugs. The mommy I never got. "You ok?" I shook my head, "I-I need to t-talk to Xavier, now please?" She nodded and let me in. As soon as I was in the door xav, his little sister and his dad were standing there. "Chyna, what happened?" I started to cry as I said the next sentence.
"I-I think w-we sh-should b-break u-up!"

--//Authors Note\\--

Heyy, so omg I know I haven't updated in ages and I'm sorry for that!! But I'm back now.
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Love Chey x