It's Not My Fault.

18

Unedited

Chyna's P.O.V

I was driving aimlessly when I saw a bike that looked so familiar zoom past me. I thought nothing of it and carried on driving. I was so drained and my eyes started to ache because of the crying. 'He's never gonna forgive me.' I thought to myself. I ended up on the freeway so I drove past six motels and found myself boarder line California. I started to cry again as I thought of the road trip me and Caitlin had. I pulled off the road and pulled my knees up to my chest, surprisingly seeing as I have a seat belt on. I cried until my eyes were so sore that it hurt to open. I thought about how messed up my life is, how perfect my boyfr- ex boyfriend was, how much I wished I was apart of Caitlin's family biologically. But most of all I thought of the letter I rote for Xavier.

'My Xavier,
I never knew how much someone would mean to me like you do to me. No words can explain how much I love you. Saying I love you doesn't feel like enough. Saying I love you to the moon and back, isn't far enough for me to travel to, to express my love. I would have to go to all the galaxy's twice before I come back, just to prove how much I love you. I know it may not look like that right now. I never wanted to do this, in fact I didn't think it would come to this.
I have written this six times already and I just wish I was strong enough to say this to your face. But I'm just not. I'm sorry. You deserve someone who's life isn't fucked up. You deserve a princess to make your queen, not some pauper. You were my Prince Charming who came and saved me. But not all of our story's end happy. That's what I love about movies. Like Jesse said in pitch perfect, 'The endings are the best part.' And I wish it were true in real life. I thought it was until when I came home. You really are the best thing that ever happened to me. But you deserve way better then plain ol' me, and I know if I said this in person you would say I'm being ridiculous and that I'm the only one for you. You've said it anytime I doubted us. And I never will again. Because you will be able to start over and find someone who deserves you, cause I certainly didn't but I got you. I'm just a nobody everyone will forget about in a week or so.
I want you to know how heavy hearted I am in doing this. But, but its for the best.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH XAVIER!
Love you always and will never stop, <3
Chyna xxx'

"Why do u have to have the fucking fucked life!" I shouted into the air as I cried. I got my iPad out and saw I had only three Facebook messages. One from Caitlin. Two from Xavier. I didn't dare open them. If I did then one they would see it and two I know I'm not strong enough to read them and carry on. I looked at the time and saw it was 3:00 in the morning. I've been on the road and crying this long? I pressed the gas and started driving again.
I ended up at the grave yard where my mom was buried. How i knew the way, well I've always wanted to go so I memorised the map route. We use to live in California. That's why her graves so far away. I got out the car and locked it. It was pouring down with rain. I walked down the path to my moms grave. There it sat. Her grave.

Jenielle Ja'Nieve
Loving Mother & Wife
1980 - 2004

Read her grave stone said. "Mom? Are you alive? It couldn't have been you. Right? If not then who sits in this grave?" I felt ill. I wasn't crying when I know I should be. I was cried out. "I've imagined standing here looking down a thousand times. Yet here I am. Sitting on mud, looking to the sky instead. I miss you! So much! Stupid six year old me! I should've told you to take the cure. I-" I turned as I heard the voice. "You did tell her. And she took it. The women in that grave isn't your mom. God bless her and her family. And your dad isn't your dad." It shocked me to see who he was. "St-Steve?" He was the same as I remembered him from ten years ago. He's blonde hair, which looked like he had ran his hand in it over and over again. Toned face. Thin lips. Green as the grass eyes. Well built. With his leather jacket he always wore when riding his bike. - The bike on the highway! It was him.
"How did you know I was here?" He shook his head. "I didn't. I guessed. After Jenielle called me telling me you didn't believe her I gathered you'd come here. Although I'm surprised you knew the way." I shrugged. "My moms dead." I said looking down at the grave. I felt a jacket being put on my shoulders. "She's not Chyna. She's alive. I thought she was that week after I looked after you at your house. Your dad came home drunk. I set him down on the sofa where he passed out. I stayed the night when I heard screaming. You were screaming. I ran down the stairs and he was holding you by your little power puff girl night dress you had a bruise come up on your eye. I screamed at Dylan and he dropped you and you scurried behind the couch. Refuseing to come out. So I knocked him out." He took a shaky breath and sat down next to me. "If you saw and done that why did you leave me for the last ten years?"
"I didn't chyna. Dylan packed up and left with you. I never saw you again until now."
"You said the women buried, that she's not my mom. If she not dead where is she?" I asked annoyed. "At mine. We're married. I'm your real father chyna. Not Dylan." I was about to open my mouth before he spoke again. "The proofs at mine. Chyna that women who showed up at your house really is your mother." I shook my head laughing. "She fell into a coma." I looked at him confused. "After you left. She lost her memories when she woke up a week later. But the two people she did remember was me and..." I sighed a shaky, nervous sigh. "My dad?" He shook he's head. I took a breath of relief. "You." I gave a small smile but it faultered. "How do I know your telling the truth? I mean I've gone 10 almost 11 years thinking she was dead living with dear daddy." I spat his name. He got up and held a hand out. "I'll prove it." I don't why but I took he's hand and got up. It had stopped raining but I was soaked through. I followed him to my car and his 1969 weslake triton 850 race bike. "I'm gonna take my car. He smiled and nodded. "Follow me." I hesitated before nodding. I mean what else have I got to loose. I've lost all the best things in my life because of me running. So if he turns out to be a psychotic killer, I'll be remembered as the girl who tried to commit suicide who turned out that her dad done it and then she ran away and got herself dead.
I got in the car and followed the bike. We came up to an apartment condo. "Sorry princess, no castle here." I rolled my eyes. "Can't stand castles, there too big." I shot back. "Touché." He smiled. I followed him through the lobby. I watched as he pressed the button which had 6 on. We walked down to his apartment. 61c. "Ready?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, hopefully looking bored even though I was very curious. He opened the green door to his home. It was cleaner than I thought it would be. There was a Weights in the corner of the living room. A plasma tv on the wall hooked up to a PS3 and sky HD box. "Would it be ok for me to get changed?" I asked timidly. I stashed some clothes into my bag. "Oh, sure down the hall to your left is the bathroom. Towels in the cupboard just before it." I nodded and headed down that way. I walked down the hall, did he say left or right? I opened the first door I saw and stood there was a boy, say 6. "Where's daddy?" He asked.