It's Not My Fault.

13

Unedited

No one knows the pain your in, until it's to late. That's what I kept thinking as I sat up in bed. It was two in the morning and I was wide awake. Caitlin was snoring her head off like a dog with a cold. Kidding...It was like an average dog sleeping. I look down at my arms. The scars still sat there. I felt the lump form in my throat. I got up and changed into some jeans and put a sweatshirt over the tank top I was wearing. I tied my hair up in a messy bun and grabbed some socks and Caitlin's sneakers. I left a note saying went for a walk. I grabbed my phone off charge and key card. When I got to the elevator there was a man just coming out. He smiled at me, so I returned the smile. When I got to the lobby, it was deserted. The only ones there were the security and a new receptionist. When I got outside I was hit by the crispy air. I took a deep breath in and just started wandering around. I put my ear buds in and listened to my phone music. I had an iPhone 6. As I walked, I thought about my life. Before I knew it I needed up down three, four blocks away from the hotel. There were some beautiful three story suburbs came into view. As I was walking a door from one of them slammed shut. I looked up and saw someone crying with their hood up. "Excuse me? Are you okay?" I asked. The person looked up and I recognised the glasses, "Shannon?" She nodded and slowly she came down the stairs. She sniffled and I pulled her into a hug. At first she froze at the sudden movement, but then returned the hug. "Are you okay?" I repeated the question I asked earlier. "Honestly? No!" Her answer made her cry even more. "Come let's talk." She nodded, then looked at me. "W-what are you doing out at 3am?" I checked the time on my phone. Yup, it was 3am. I had been walking for almost an hour. "Couldn't sleep, you." She huffed and adjusted her glasses. "Two words, my. Mom." I nodded. "What about your mom?" We ended up in a park. I thought of how cliche it looked, night time stroll, meet a friend, end up in a park. We sat on the stairs of the climbing frame. Shannon pulled put a packet of cigarettes. She lit one up and puffed. She offered me one but I obviously declined. "My mom is an addict to crystal meth and is best friends with Mary Jane." She rolled her eyes. It took me a couple of minutes to realise she was talking about weed. Her jumper rolled up a bit and I saw she had cuts up her wrist. "She beats me when she's high. Most of the time I just stay in my room but as my mom can't afford rent, I'm working three jobs a week, with school on top." I let out one of my famous dry laughs. "My dad's a work-a-Holic and a big time drunk!" I pulled my hood up so it covered my face. "When my mom died 11 years ago, my daddy never returned home for three days straight and when he did he beat me till I was about too pass out. He told me it was my fault my mom died." I wiped a tear that threatened to roll down my cheek. "It's only recently I've let two people know it's been happening. My daddy payed a guy to kill me but my boyfriend and best friend found me before I drowned. The maniac sliced my wrists hoping I would bleed to death, so it looked like an attempted suicide." Shannon threw her cigarette on the floor. "Thought my life was messed. But I have no friends to tell about my mom. Dad left 6 or 7 years ago, as my mom only got high and hit me. But he left me with the phsyco I call mommy. I've attempted suicide three, four times. " In the corner of my eye I saw her clutching her fist. "The whole school heard and I'm now the suicidal whore, whose out for attention." I gave her a hug. "So what happened with your mom, for you to get kicked out?" It was her turn to let out a dry laugh. "I came out and refused to give her money to go and by weed of her dealer and money to pay off her debt to her meth dealer. So she literally kicked me out the house."
We talked for another half hour and I saw the sky changing. I stood up and stretched. "Have you got work or school today?" She shook her head, "only school. But that would mean going home for my stuff." She groaned. "Wanna spend the day with me and Caitlin, were going Sky Zone Indoor Trampoline Park." Her face lit up. "For reals?" I laughed and nodded. Her smile faltered. "Ditch school, fine. But I still gotta go home to shower and get changed." I looked at her as we started walking back to the hotel. "You can borrow mine or Caitlin's. If you really want I could buy you an outfit?" Her jaw dropped. "I'll borrow some, don't need you wasting your money on me." I flipped her off. "Come on." I ordered a coffee for me and Shannon as we were up all might talking, at a coffee shop. We both yawned as we entered the hotel. When we got up to the room, Shannon had the same reaction as me and Caitlin. I laughed and ushered her into my room. I looked at the time as saw it was now 5 in the morning. "We're not leaving till like eight so wanna sleep?" Shannon nodded and looked around. "Oh yeah sorry, you take the bed." She gave me the look off 'where you gonna go?' I laughed and pulled the sofa-bed out. "Here." I said grabbing a spare Duvet. I threw some sweatpants at Shannon and quickly changed into some myself and climbed into my mini bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was in the land of wonder.

When I awoke again it was 7:30. I got up and stretched. Shannon was still in bed, so I let her sleep a little longer. I went into the living room to see if caitlin was awake or not. She was. "Hey!" I yawned. She nodded and gave me a cup off black coffee with a bowl of lucky charms. I raised my eyebrow. She just smirked. "I saw your note, you ok?" I nodded. "Hey I invited Shannon, I hope you don't mind." Caitlin shook her head, before a smile broke her face. "The more the better." She said rather evilly. "Oh shit!" I said under my breath eating my lucky charms. A couple minutes later Shannon came in. She rubbed her eyes under her glasses. Caitlin got up and made herself and Shannon some coffee. "Want any food?" Caitlin asked. "Yes, have you got any more lucky charms?" Shannon asked shyly, looking over in my direction. Caitlin smirked. Once she gave Shannon her breakfast she hit the shower. "I'm gonna go take a shower, I should be done by the time your finished. Will you be alright?" Shannon nodded. "Thank you, so much chyna." I laughed, "why?" She shrugged, smiling. "Your the first person to be kind to me after finding out about my suicide attempts." I gave her a hug. "I don't care, I don't agree, but you had reasons." She smiled. I nodded and jumped in the shower.
When I was finished I told Shannon she could have one if she wanted. I grabbed black leggings with a white button up shirt. I left the top 3 buttons undone. I braided my hair after drying it. I then put my white converses on. Caitlin wore black skinny jeans with a long plain black tank top. Her hair in a tight bun. Shannon borrowed my blue bandeau with Caitlin's see through, blue netted crop top with baby blue skinny jeans. Her belly was pierced, with a cross belly bar. She wore the flats she was wearing last night. Her hair was left natural. We all looked good.
By the time we left it was like 8:30. We were almost there when I got a call. I pulled over to the side of the road and answered it on the third ring. "Hello?"
'My bitch off a daughter, where are you?'
"Out"
'Fine, but you when you get back, you will have a month left then your moving out. And incase your wondering, I'm still in jail. But my court sessions in a weeks time. I dare you to testify against me.'
"Don't you worry, daddy...It will be you who moves out. And no need to dare, cause I am. See you in court, you twisted bastard"
With that I hung up. "You okay Hun?" Caitlin asked. I forced a smile. "Yes, as sweet and honey and sugar." I pressed on the gas and we made it to Sky Zone Indoor Trampoline Park in no time.