calzona separated

Chapter 1

Arizona and Callie had been divorced for two years. And it had been four years since the plane crash. The start of all their problems, one of the reasons their happy pink bubble of a marriage ended, and the reason Arizona Robbins lost her leg. Callie sold her old apartment, buying a nice house and borrowing some of her fathers money to complete the sale. Arizona still lived in the sweet house they bought together, what felt like decades ago. They would go to work, have their time with their daughter, and live their lives separately, but there was something that would always draw them together.

The plane crash.

On a regular basis, they would both have nightmares. Nightmares about the plane crash. Nightmares about the arguments and screaming. Nightmares about the amputation.

Arizona's pov
You weren't on the plane Callie! You weren't in the woods, and you did not hear Meredith crying for Lexie, or Mark moaning in pain, or hearing me scream in pain, you weren't there, and you keep acting like you were, but you weren't, and it wasn't your experience.

I almost lost Mark; you almost died.

"I almost lost Mark; you almost died." You weren't on the fricking plane! You wanted the street cred, the badge of honor, the warrior wounds, Great! Stick out your leg and I'll grab a bone saw and let's even the score!

It always comes back to the leg..

I trusted you more than anything... more than anyone in my life. And you decided to cut it off...

To save your life!

You didn't lose anything! I did, I did!

Apparently I lost you...

I woke up in a cold sweat. The duvet was on the floor and it looked like the tv remotes and magazines I'd left on the bed had flown across the room. Breathing heavily, close to hyperventilating, I tried to calm myself down. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and I knew it wouldn't be the last. That was the problem. I didn't know if it would ever end.

"Andrew" I called out weakly, shaking in my skin.

He came running, a look of worry spreading across his face. "What's up? What is it? Are you ok?" He sat on the edge of my bed, clearly not sure of what boundaries I would want.

I just stared at the wall. I was helpless. I just, I froze.

Deluca repositioned himself on the bed, sitting next to me and holding me in his arms. "It's ok Arizona I've got you, whatever it is it's ok I promise"

Letting myself lean into him, I sobbed. It was uncontrollable, I just sobbed.

An hour later, my shaky voice spoke up. "You don't have to do this, Deluca. Honestly I'll be fine"

"As much as I want to believe you, I can't. You had a nightmare and it didn't sound fun. These have happened since I moved in here, probably before too. You know that. It might get easier if you talk about it. And you have someone here to talk to. Always." He finished his cute little speech and a small smile appeared on my face.

The tiny hint of happy slipped away, and once again the frail, vulnerable look was there. "I- there- it" I took a deep breath. "There was a plane crash, it was terrifying and painful and," I shuddered, "There was screaming and moaning and death. That was the worst experience of my life, and my stupid, stupid brain won't let me forget it. It's like I want to keep putting myself through it, keep going over and over it." Tears rolled down my face, and Andrew took my hand in his own. "I don't want to go through it anymore Deluca" my voice cracked and I looked up into his eyes.

"It won't always be like this Arizona. I don't know when it will get better and I don't know how, but it will. The world tends to do that."

"What if it doesn't though? What if the world hates me? What if I deserve all this?" I questioned.

"Hey, don't talk like that. Trust me. We'll make sure it treats you better. Anyway, how could the world hate you? You're literally the sweetest, cheeriest person ever. You save tiny humans, little kids and moms all day. You deserve all the happy in the world"

I smiled back up at him, tears in my eyes. "Thank you"

Deluca held me as I fell back asleep right there in his arms. It was sweet. Maybe it will be ok.

Callie's pov
Just to be clear, Dr Sloan and Dr Torres are Sofia's parents, and then... you came around.

No, I didn't just "come around". I'm Sofia's mother. I legally adopted her.

She didn't want to go there.

No she didn't.

Her last names are Sloan and Torres-

I'm gonna have to stop you before you continue for your own sake.

You are not going to imply that I'm any less Sofia's mother because we don't share the same DNA.

My trembling bones shook in my sleep. The court. The custody battle. The lawyers and the trauma. Our upset baby girl. The worst time of my life.

Switching on my bedside lamp, I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. I wrecked my daughter and I wrecked my ex-wife. There would always be a place in my heart for Arizona Robbins.

Quietly tip-toeing across the hall, with my water in my hand, I stood watching my Sofia sleep. She's ok, she's fine. I don't need to worry about her right now.

"Momma, why are you crying?" The tiny girl asked solemnly.

I didn't know I was, but I wiped my eyes. "I'm not baby don't worry, mommas good" Sitting on the edge of her bed I held her hand. "You go back to sleep and when you wake up in the morning we'll make pancakes before school"

Sofia smiled at me then drifted back off to sleep, contempt- and oblivious to the rest of the world.

I stayed in her room and watched her at peace, then went back to sleep in my own room. My baby makes my life worth living.

I'll upload one chapter every week, so see you next Sunday :)