calzona separated

Chapter 9

Callie's pov
Some time later, my ex wife was in her hospital room alone and I was stood out in the hallway, trying my best to disguise my worry and my twisty, forbidden and buried feelings for her. Arizona's parents and brother had gone over to her house to get her some of her own things, and to get some food. It was my time to shoot my shot.

"Arizona?" I called out quietly, in a weirdly polite way. Too polite considering our past.

She looked up at me, that classic smile plastered on her face. "Heyyyy" she greeted me with happiness and rainbows, even despite the situation.

I sat next to her, and took her small, pale hand in mine. "How are you doing?" I questioned.

"I've been better" she laughed. That laugh was just, it could make anyone's day 100x greater.

"I need to tell you something. And this time you have to listen to it, and just hear me out ok don't shoot me down until I've explained it" I rambled, a lot.

Of course, being the amazing woman she was, she just smiled. "Carry on Calliope, I'm listening."

Calliope. My heart melted.

"I love you. I love you a lot. You are talented and funny and brilliant and my daughters other mom so obviously she already loves you, and I already do too. I should never have walked out, you tried to fix us and I just ran from us. And I'm sorry, and I love you"

Arizona's pov
If only I could have heard that two years ago, our lives would've been completely changed. We would have lived in our lovely family house together, watching our beautiful little girl play in the back yard on the swing set. We maybe would've even tried again, had another baby.

But nothings changed, and I'm not the person she needs.

"Calliope, you love the idea of us. You love the thought of us getting back together for Sofia and living with all three of us under the same roof. You love the thought of it feeling like the old days, before life got in the way of us being us. And it would be fun for a while, and we'd all be happy; but then it would get messy, complicated and we'd either spend our days miserable or split up and hurt Sofia again. We can't be the old us. I'm sorry"

The guilt made my heart pound, and I hoped that if not now, at least some day my ex-wife would understand I did this for her, and our daughter.

The tall, dark haired woman I used to love sat beside me, swiping away anything that could resemble a tear. Fidgeting in her seat, and slowly pulling her hand away from mine; she looked up at me once again.

"If we were in this situation two years ago, maybe we would've survived everything," I said in almost a whisper, also doing my best not to show too much emotion, "but we just have to face it this time, we're through. You left me because you wanted freedom from feeling suffocated, and I'm not going to make you feel that way again. I'm sorry" The moment of eye contact shared with Callie after made it so much harder to complete my piece, however I did it and I got through it.

We would never be the same as what we were, and at this current moment, I wouldn't be able to be a good wife.

"Forget I ever said anything, it was stupid, it was, it was stupid" she muttered as she went back on herself.

"It wasn't stupid Calliope, in an ideal word we would have a chance to start over. Neither of us are able to forget our past, and that's ok."

Callie's pov
After allowing our eyes to meet once more, and even an understanding yet painfully sorrowing smile each, I left my seat next to Arizona's bed and with that left her hospital room.

My eyes burned, my skin felt hot, my heart raced.

Why? When would it have been a good idea to tell my ex wife I love her?

Never. Especially not after she's been in a road accident and had surgery.

Hours later, 6pm
Callie's pov
Following my tragic screw up earlier, I had made sure Arizona's room wasn't one I had to pass. The embarrassment still hurt, my bruised ego too proud to see her again just yet.

This was until I saw her parents sitting outside the small box of four walls their daughter was in. Tim was asleep with her of course, lying on the bed next to her and supporting her head like a pillow while she slept.

"Is everything ok?" I warily questioned my ex-in-laws.

"Oh yes dear, we're just struggling to get in touch with the moving companies back at home. My eyes aren't what they used to be" Barbara smiled back at me gently, I could definitely see where Arizona got it from.

"You're moving house?" The shock in my voice caused me to worry that they thought I didn't like them, or didn't want them here. Immediately I knew it didn't though, I would've had a much worse look from the Colonel if it had.

Making his voice heard, the man I always slightly feared joined the conversation. "Did our daughter not tell you we're moving back here?"

"We're going to help her with her recovery- I'm sure you would help Arizona if needs be but you have a job and a life, and at least if we're here there's plenty of people for Sofia" my ex-mother-in-law spoke so calmly, it was reassuring. Until what she said actually made sense in my mind.

"Wait, er, how long is her recovery going to be? The way you're moving here makes it seem like it'll be a while. She's ok right? Arizona's ok?" Panic infected every one of my words, hitting each one harder than the last.

"Did Arizona not tell you? Her residual limb was injured in the car crash, she won't be able to walk with her prosthetic on for a few weeks or more, depending on how quickly she heals. Her doctors recommended at least 3 months off work"

The Colonels words knocked the breath out of my lungs. Taking a seat next to his wife, my head hung down and an audible sigh came from my mouth. Thoughts, worries, flooded through my head.

Arizona knew she wouldn't be able to walk for weeks, so she thought that would make her a bad wife. And I guess that means she doesn't want to put me through that.

Arizona cared. She always cared.