i don't really feel like fighting.

i'm so fucking afraid.

i am afraid, afraid to write,

afraid of myself, and of long lonely nights,

afraid of failure, afraid to call,

afraid to fly, for i might fall,

afraid to wake up to an empty bed,

afraid that it's my fault if you end up dead,

afraid of commitment, afraid of attention,

afraid to be honest, for fear of rejection,

afraid of the truth, afraid of the lies,

afraid to reveal all the secrets i hide,

afraid of life, afraid of death,

afraid when i wake up all out of breath,

afraid of the person i've become,

afraid to feel, afraid to be numb,

afraid of never again feeling whole,

afraid of things i can't control,

afraid to be open, afraid of distance,

afraid that no one will ever listen,

afraid of crowds, afraid of trust,

afraid that my walls will crumble to dust,

afraid i'm too stubborn. should i agree more?

afraid that you noticed, but chose to ignore,

afraid of the urge to go back to the blade,

afraid of love, of decisions i've made,

afraid to lose you, the one i hold dear,

afraid of emotion, afraid of fear.